really desperatly need help

[JC2122]

Hello all, i am in desperate need of help because i don't want anyone to get hurt myself included. Sorry in advance but its a long scenario. I was on this random chat app and I met this guy on it last Wed he is 24 yrs old and ever since that day we have been talking every night and one night we talked for 2 hrs and 27 mins on the phone.

He is a nice guy over the phone and we had this seemingly very awesome connection and have many similarities. I feel things are going extremly fast because last night we used the L word.
On saturday night we were texting and I was accusing him of being a fake and all he did was be calm and tried to assure me that he isn't and he was at a friends house trying to have a good time and he stepped out in the cold with snow on the ground to call me and see what was wrong with me and he listened to me cry 10 mins of a 35 min phone call.

Everytime I tell him to leave he says he does not want to go anywhere and everytime I say he'll hurt me he says he does not want to hurt me and that he felt that this time nobody will get hurt. I keep throwing all these things at him and he just denies em all, he says that everything he told me is real and that includes how he feels about me.

On Sat afternoon he said he stayed up till 10 am thinking about me and what was said on the phone friday night and admitted I think about him alot also. I told him that I was thinking of a possibility of there being an "us" and he said just the thought kept him awake. I keep trying my hardest to push him away but he still isn't going away. He promised me that the feeling he has expressed toward me are real and that we are real. He also told me he wished we did not mean on a chat room and that we were closer. And he also told me that he wishes I could see his thoughts and know this is real between us and not a game.

We decided to be in a long distance relationship and be exclusive but mind you this is all in 7 days now. As in we've known each other less than a week. Is it actually possible for 2 strangers from a random chat room to have such an amazing connection that we are falling for each other in less then a week, is it possible that he could feel love toward me in such a short time? What should I do, what do you think of him? should I give it a chance? Please help!!!! Additionally he gave me his full name and address

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

He's definitely not faking if he was willing to give you his full name and address. Yes, it is very possible to fall in love that fast. And LOVE chooses where it will go, and when you will meet, and that can even be on an internet forum or chat room. With such a strong, intense connection, he might be your Twin Flame, or a soul mate, anyway. And he does sound like a good guy if he is already concerned enough about your feelings to go out in the cold snowy weather at night and spend his mobile minutes listening to you cry and spill your feelings all over him. It sounds like you have been hurt before, and you are afraid to get involved with him because of that. Well, one thing to remember, and it took me a long time to learn, each relationship is different. You can't go into a new relationship comparing the new guy to the others you've dated before. He isn't them. He is himself. Give him a chance.

I would say, give it a chance...but take it slow. Don't rush into anything. Actually, an LDR is a good way to get to know someone, without the pressure of physical attraction and sex. That can come later, gradually, as you are ready. Slow down, enjoy the ride, and don't miss the Moment.

[JC2122]

Thank u for the thoughts

[differentcountries]

Me and my boyfriend fell for each other in half a week... I mean we met physically, but we did not really know each other much. Sometimes you get a hunch about the other person. And sometimes hunches are right. My so said pretty soon he wanted to grow old with me, that is even worse lol

[Ahava]

I just wanted to ask a few things: Why are you so worried about getting hurt? What was the reason you cried on the phone? Why do you feel the need to find something "rotten" out of him? (You throwing things at him and accusing him of being a fake etc)
I may be wrong here but somehow I am getting the feeling you might not be in a good place with yourself and might have some issues you need to work on?
And if that is the case, it is a very good idea to take things slow and to form a friendship first.

Otherwise as to your questions, he sounds like a good guy and especially the fact that he gave you his address and full name.

Have you guys Skyped? Sent pics of each other?

[JC2122]

its just very scary

Ive been in many long distance relationships and its just Siri fairy very heartbreaking when things don't work out and usually its other girls and I just wanna make sure that there is none of that with him it just scares me so bad and also we have seen each other ive sent multiple pics and him also but yesterday I ended it because he didn't seem to have any time for me and besides that I couldn't trust anything that he said. I've got no issues I just don't want to be messed around with

[Blaine]

I've got no issues I just don't want to be messed around with

OK. Sounds good.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

Ive been in many long distance relationships and its just Siri fairy very heartbreaking when things don't work out and usually its other girls and I just wanna make sure that there is none of that with him it just scares me so bad and also we have seen each other ive sent multiple pics and him also but yesterday I ended it because he didn't seem to have any time for me and besides that I couldn't trust anything that he said. I've got no issues I just don't want to be messed around with

It sounds to me like you do have issues: lack of commitment, lack of trust, jealousy, and lack of patience and understanding. An LDR can't work without those key ingredients, and jealousy shows your lack of trust. To me the fact that you have had MANY LDR situations, none of which worked out, is a red flag. Why are you looking for guys from a distance, instead of finding someone closer? At your age you should be actually dating someone, getting up close and personal, or if you just happen to find someone special on the net, in a forum, or game, etc., take the time to get to know him, and don't just throw him out in a week or two. How do you think he feels now?

[JC2122]

It sounds to me like you do have issues: lack of commitment, lack of trust, jealousy, and lack of patience and understanding. An LDR can't work without those key ingredients, and jealousy shows your lack of trust. To me the fact that you have had MANY LDR situations, none of which worked out, is a red flag. Why are you looking for guys from a distance, instead of finding someone closer? At your age you should be actually dating someone, getting up close and personal, or if you just happen to find someone special on the net, in a forum, or game, etc., take the time to get to know him, and don't just throw him out in a week or two. How do you think he feels now?

From,this point on im actualy fully commited to him. Im not jealous was just saying my failed relationships ended because of other girls, while i was giving it my all i was being two timed on. I would love to find someome closee but have social anxiety and its hard to get out. I never planned to meet someone on that random chat room it kinda just happened. My issue for him is just the fact that we hardly talk and when,we do his texts are so spread out that im waiting hours for him to text. I mean it got so aggravating that i told him im done and erased all his messages and calls outta my phone. But caved in because i missed him and searched my phone records to get his number again, we talked and he forgave me, additionally im trying to plan a trip to see him in summer.

Im young but i mean i think i have a different feeling about him. Im black hes white he says that does not matter but im jusy afraid of his familys reaction and his reaction when we do meet, but i digress i suppose i need a bit of guidance on how to make this work because he is all in and i want to be too.
1

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

From,this point on im actualy fully commited to him. Im not jealous was just saying my failed relationships ended because of other girls, while i was giving it my all i was being two timed on. I would love to find someome closee but have social anxiety and its hard to get out. I never planned to meet someone on that random chat room it kinda just happened. My issue for him is just the fact that we hardly talk and when,we do his texts are so spread out that im waiting hours for him to text. I mean it got so aggravating that i told him im done and erased all his messages and calls outta my phone. But caved in because i missed him and searched my phone records to get his number again, we talked and he forgave me, additionally im trying to plan a trip to see him in summer.

Im young but i mean i think i have a different feeling about him. Im black hes white he says that does not matter but im jusy afraid of his familys reaction and his reaction when we do meet, but i digress i suppose i need a bit of guidance on how to make this work because he is all in and i want to be too.
1

OK, if you really want this, you have come to the right place. You will get advice and counsel from people who are going through similar things, you will get support for your bad days (we all have those), and you will get ideas to make it fun while you wait for those e-mails, chats and phone calls that are so important in an LDR. I recommend the e-books that are here, too, especially the one about fun things to do, and the Workbook for LDR Couples. Also look up the thread, LDRT Long Distance Relationship videos. It's a good YouTube channel from one of the members here. He has good advice.

My main advice for you is be patient with him, and don't rush things. Take it slow, get to know him, learn to trust him, and be patient when he can't be with you as much as you wish. Believe me, I know how hard that is, but we all have to realize they have lives, families, responsibilities, etc., just as we do, so sometimes they just can't be online or on the phone as much as we wish. And sometimes, they just need space, and we have to respect that too.

Welcome to the forums, and hope you will enjoy it, and get all the support and encouragement you need.

[aniay]

Sometimes you just get this kind of 'connection' almost instantly (I basically fell for my SO the DAY I met him and he did for me but we admited it way later.


Good luck

[BabyGund]

Im black hes white he says that does not matter but im jusy afraid of his familys reaction and his reaction when we do meet, but i digress i suppose i need a bit of guidance on how to make this work because he is all in and i want to be too.
1

FTR, I'm black and he's white and guess what? It really doesn't matter. If his family has an issue with it, he'll deal with them. That means nothing about your relationship and your love, if you both want to make this work.

[aojeda50]

To use the L word within a few days of talking is a little too fast for me personally. But I do believe in having sub a front come toon with someone instantly. I think it's happened to a lot of us in here. It definitely happened between my SO and I. Randomly said hi to him on a site, and when we started talking I felt something righ away. Something different about him than everyone else I knew.
Of course thought I do think you should be a little cautious still. Continue to talk, take the time to know him better and ask questions.
I advise you two to find a way to video chat with one another if you haven't done so yet. I think it would help out a lot

Just be careful, be smart about this, but also follow your heart.