Question?

[folclor]

I first met my SO in person when I was 20. I told my parents about it because didn't seem right to lie to them about it. I didn't let them come with me to the airport, though, as I assumed they wouldn't be cool with the entire situation. But it turned out my mom was the most supportive person (from where I lived) while I was there.

I do understand the fear of telling them, though. Parents tend to have a strange power over us and even when we're adults we find ourselves nervous to say something they would disagree with. But have a little more faith in them. They may be strict, but they love you and want the best for you. Besides, what are you gonna tell them later down the line when you finally DO reveal your relationship? "Hey, remember when I went to go see my friend? It was actually to go meet this guy. Sorry I didn't tell you!!" That'll just hurt them and make them feel like you don't trust them.

If you're really nervous, though, wait until a couple days before you go. Tell them there's another friend you're gonna meet there, too. When you get back you can tell them all about how amazing it was and how you two really hit it off. Show them pictures and give them details and they'll be on your side that way. Hopefully, at least ^^;

[aojeda50]

I was 21 when I started talking to my SO
I didn't brig him up to my parents until a few months into us talking. By that time I made plans to go visit him. Of course I didn't say anything to my parents yet, just my sisters.
They both thought I was crazy and didn't agree. But I was so set on going.
So I brought up my SO more and more to my parents, bt I could feel that they weren't all that comfortable with talking about it.
I bought the ticket in May to fly in August. I didn't tell them until July. I figured I should give them a month to let it sink in.
They didn't talk to me for also a week.
But buy the second week they were willing to help me out with every big I needed.

[IncredibleD]

I first met my SO in person when I was 20. I told my parents about it because didn't seem right to lie to them about it. I didn't let them come with me to the airport, though, as I assumed they wouldn't be cool with the entire situation. But it turned out my mom was the most supportive person (from where I lived) while I was there.

I do understand the fear of telling them, though. Parents tend to have a strange power over us and even when we're adults we find ourselves nervous to say something they would disagree with. But have a little more faith in them. They may be strict, but they love you and want the best for you. Besides, what are you gonna tell them later down the line when you finally DO reveal your relationship? "Hey, remember when I went to go see my friend? It was actually to go meet this guy. Sorry I didn't tell you!!" That'll just hurt them and make them feel like you don't trust them.

If you're really nervous, though, wait until a couple days before you go. Tell them there's another friend you're gonna meet there, too. When you get back you can tell them all about how amazing it was and how you two really hit it off. Show them pictures and give them details and they'll be on your side that way. Hopefully, at least ^^;

thanks! Yes I was going to tell them everything when I came back, but steady break it down to them about what the deal was. they are going to know exactly where I am and whom I will be around which will be a girl who is a friend of my guy since she desperately wants to meet me, go shopping, this and that, so i really won't be entirely alone with my SO for some hours.. your idea works. thanks so much.

[IncredibleD]

that opens my eyes abit. Thank you

[kikidee]

I didn't tell my parents (but only my mom was home that week cuz my dad was on a trip) and she found out the hard way. She didn't like it one bit. I advise telling the people you have to and want to.

[ChibiFelicia]

I started talking to my guy when i was 24. Three months into the LDR i decided i needed to tell my parents as he was coming to meet me. I haven't lived with my parents since i was 20 and they're super strict (hence i moved out). I was slightly worried about their reaction but i decided it was nothing i should hide as what if something happened and they had no idea. I guess i worry about silly things but i felt that if something were to happen to me the last thing i would've given them would be a lie, i can't live with that. It's up to you what you do but i personally agree with the above posters who have urged you to let your parents know the truth.

[Ejoriah]

I am 22. I typically don't tell my mother where I am or what I'm doing, because honestly I'm an adult and she doesn't have to know all my whereabouts. I'll usually bring it up later, and say "hey, I went to this place to see this person and it was awesome!"

Then again, I live 10,000 miles away from her, so dynamics are probably different.

[Sunbeam]

The first time I met my SO, I was in college, and I used my spring break to see him.
I told only my immediate family (both sets of grandparents, mom, and brother) who all expected to see me during my break.
Word traveled fast and most of my family knew by the time I got back.

[differentcountries]

I do not tell my parents I will see my SO. I admit there is a dilemma between sharing +safety, and the fact I am an adult and can share what I want. I guess I will tell them eventually. Of counselling my husband knows so the safety issue is less important. If you stay at home, at least tell them the right area... My parents usually tell me if they are travelling abroad the both of them , nationally not so much.

[BabyGund]

I went to Cancun by myself on vacation at 23. Though I lived at home with my mom, I had a job and paid my own bills. So me telling her I was going was more of a courtesy than anything.

You're an adult -- you shouldn't have to tell them anything, except "I'm going on vacation in so-and-so city." My only rule is don't lie, because if your parents found out you did, that will be worse. If this friend who moved from Miami lives near your SO and you actually are visiting her part of the time, then you didn't lie. But YMMV.

[NerdyChick]

I was 19, out on my own, when I first started talking with my SO. We were just friends in the beginning, we talked for well over a year before planning a visit. When I told my parents I wanted to visit him, it was more a reaction of "Well that makes sense" I had been telling them about him anyway, and he had let his parents know too. It didn't come out of nowhere for them. I was 20, and it was my first time on a plane, much less to another country, my parents had a lot of advice, they were used to traveling internationally. I kept them updated each step of the way to London, that was more of a safety thing though, I think running off to another country for a month (which is how long I was gone) and not telling anyone you are leaving would be reckless, especially if you are meeting someone for the first time. I've made two trips now, and he'll be coming to visit in April. Both our families are supportive of our relationship, which I am very grateful for, but we were honest with them about each other from the very beginning. My line of thinking was: I'm a legal adult, I was going to do what I thought was right anyway, they were my parents, they are a part of my life and my SO is a part of my life. It just made more sense for them to know about him and the visit. It's made everything 100x easier in the long run.

[CanadianGirl]

My boyfriend came up to see me first, and was 22 at the time but not living at home. He did tell them he was flying up to Canada, but said it was with friends at the time. We'd only been talking for 2.5 months and weren't "dating" prior. When he told them about me, not too long after, they weren't really surprised his "spring break" (in Ontario,Canada..) was really about meeting a girl . Some parents are accepting and open, and some will never be on the same page. If you want to tell them all the details, do it, but I don't see why you need to.

[eeelaynuh]

When I first scheduled to see my SO i shouted it from the rooftops! I told everyone I could possibly tell without updating my facebook status. lol. I was sooooo excited. (: There's no shame in being excited. If you show your parents your excited, then they will be too. Also show them that you are well prepared, so they don't get scared. but the point is you're an adult, you should be able to make your own decisions whether they like them or not.

[Atreyu]

Hey,
I know how scary that can be, the reaction of the people around you. A lot of people don't believe in LDR.
I was afraid my parents would be negative too, they are pretty much sober minded lol
But they are okay with it, I'm very happy that they are.

We want to see each other in person in April, it's very exciting. My mom and grandpa will even bring me to the airport. I never thought they would wave at me, saying goodbye. Lol. I thought they would not even think of letting me go to USA alone, flying alone! That's a tough step. But I just know that it will be worth it.

So yes, I know your fear and I really hope your family will respect your decision. It will make things a lot easier.

Good luck

Edit: I'm 21 so pretty young, I thought they'd never agree