Am i crazy? or is this normal?

[JC2122]

So, if you have read my other threads you know that I am recently in a LDR with someone I met on a random people chat room, things are going well the only real thing i am not happy about is the fact that we don't talk as much as I would like, but I mean I could deal with that I just am really actually hate it because I miss you so much during the day. But anyway as i posted in my previous thread, we do love each other and say it often, and it isn't lust or infatuation or anything like that because I suffer from depression and he is dealing with it and all of the things i throw at him and one of the first things we talked about is the fact that he does not pressure girls for sex and will wait until the girl is comfortable, I later mentioned that i don't believe in sex before marriage and he wasn't even like caring, but I think its a very good thing.

I asked him if he was done searching and he said yes and that he hopes we last forever. So after this amazing few days, Ive decided to bus him here for us to meet and spend time together to see if we are really compatible, the thing I am wondering though is if its crazy for a girl to pick up the expenses for the male in the relationship. I mean now that we are an "US" I think its part of the sacrifice seeing that he does not have the money to pay to come here. I would be paying for his bus ticket and a hotel room and anything that we decide to do while he is here for 3 days. The trip is planned for August and I'm just curious as to what you all think...

[Kristin91]

I think we can't make the decision for you.

[Sunbeam]

When my SO was here last, I financed most of our activities, since it was in my state and we're both pretty poor. However, we'd been together over a year. Is it worth it for a guy you just met? I'm not sure. I wouldn't do it, but that's just me.
It really has to be your decision..

[JC2122]

I think we can't make the decision for you.

Alrighty i know its my decision obviously, I'm just wondering if its an acceptable thing to do or is it not something a woman should do?

[Sunbeam]

It's completely acceptable if it is what you want to do.
If it's something you're unsure about doing, then don't do it.
But it's 2014, no one should shame a woman for spending money anymore

[squeeker]

Yes it's completely acceptable, as long as you want to do it and will not regret doing so!

In my relationship with my SO, I have usually been in a slightly better financial place, but only because I have typically had less expenses and he has more. Once you get to the commitment level that you both want to be together and won't give up on each other, you likely will have different stages where either one of you might be in a better financial situation.

Just as long as you make the decision and are not going to hold it over his head forever that you paid for everything.. then it's perfectly acceptable. I'm just saying because I know my boyfriend feels bad enough as it is that I have likely paid for more in our relationship (though we haven't calculated it) so far and he feels bad because he's a typical man who wants to be able to provide for me. One day he will have a good job where he will be able to provide more but right now he provides his love and what he can and I know he is sincere.

Also as long as you have been together long enough that you know he isn't going to use you for your money. I just had to say it because of course I don't know you. I'm sure I read some of your other threads but I still don't know you or especially not him. :P

[charly]

I would do so. In early stages of our relationship I had more to spend, so I paid most of the time. No problem, I thought it was worth it. As long as there is some sort of balance, it's not really a problem. I always believe that the one wanting something is the one paying. (So if I want to go out and have dinner, I am the one paying. If he takes me out, he pays.)

And, since when is it the mans duty to pay?

[differentcountries]

I pay most of our expenses and have always done so. I "let him " take some of the bills when I am there, just small stuff (to my bank account), so he can contribute a little too/feel "like a man ". Pay for your so if you can afford it. No shame in that. He can contribute in his own way, whatever he can.

[CanadianGirl]

I don't really think there's anything a woman "shouldn't" do.. I think for any new relationship, whoever sets up the date should probably pay.

[nottheprincesspeach]

I don't feel gender matters. In my relationship, my SO has a career whereas I'm in college so he takes care of things a majority of the time. But in previous relationships when it has been opposite I have taken care of things. I don't think who pays for what matters as long as both people in the relationship are okay with it and contribute to the relationship in what ways they can.