Showing off your tears?

[glasspaper]

We all know how hard it is to be in a long distance relationship.
And sometimes there are times, when all we can do is just cry it out.
I just wondering if you let your SO knows that youre crying at that moment?
Or you just crying all alone and never show it to your SO?
I myself have cried once on webcam when we're breaking up, and he saw it.
I never do it again afterwards, i know that i still cry here and there sometimes.
But i don't want him to know it, i just don't want him to feel bad because of it.
What about you?
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[Hollandia]

We all know how hard it is to be in a long distance relationship.
And sometimes there are times, when all we can do is just cry it out.
I just wondering if you let your SO knows that youre crying at that moment?
Or you just crying all alone and never show it to your SO?
I myself have cried once on webcam when we're breaking up, and he saw it.
I never do it again afterwards, i know that i still cry here and there sometimes.
But i don't want him to know it, i just don't want him to feel bad because of it.
What about you?
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Most of the time my SO can hear it in my voice. Sometimes he has even picked up on it in chat. It is just a part of the weird connection thing people get when they know each other that well. I don't go out of my way to make them known and I also don't hide them. If they are happening there is usually a good reason for it. If I know ahead of time I am going to be upset, I try to wait till I am not. I don't think making us both sad really helps all that much but sometimes when stuff happens it can't be helped.

[OperaDiva]

I never hide my tears from him. Very early on, when I warned him (he always jokes that I was trying to scare him away for the whole month before we got together) that I am very emotional because of my hormones and that I can't really bottle those feelings, he told me that he never wanted me to hide my feelings from him. And he stood by his words, we share the good, the bad, the boring. I love that man.

[NerdyChick]

I'm one of those people where however I'm feeling tends to be pretty obvious in my face, voice, my SO can even tell if something's bothering me over IM. I don't try and hide things. If he asks me how I'm doing, and I'm feeling like lonely, sad, or missing him, I let him know. He's very understanding and compassionate. He's seen me cry on video and in person, not just over the distance, but over other challenges in life too. In person, he held me and told me it was going to be okay, I've never felt so loved in my life. I feel like that's part of being in a relationship and having two way communication. You share the ups and downs of life. In the beginning I did try to be more discrete and cover things up, but he would figure it out and ask, and when I finally told him, he would tell me it was okay to be open about it, he has always believed that that is just part of being in a relationship, you have the support and someone to lean on. It's very comforting to know I can feel anything in front of him and he will love me none the less. I think if there is one person in life you should be able to trust and be your absolute truest self with, I think that should be your significant other.

[glasspaper]

You guys and your SOs are great.
Thats wonderful to be able to share any moments and feelings to each others no matter how.
I wish i can be more expressive like you all guys do, instead of just sulking and swallowing my emotion alone bymyself.
I just don't want to scare him off, cause i know my feeling is pretty deep towards him.
It maybe would be different if we're interacting in person someday as i guess i can't hide my feelings on him face to face

[Malaga]

It's an interesting question. When the distance really gets to me, I actually find it helpful to think that I need to be brave and take it in stride as when I'm not, it makes both of us feel bad. It's really bad when you're feeling down, but it's even worse when your SO is upset and there's nothing you can do about it. We're open about feeling the distance, as in, we say it openly and try to console each other, but we don't cry to each other about it or anything. I much prefer it that way. I think it would drive me nuts if I had an SO who cried to me all the time because we were in a LDR. We're there for each other but we're not each other's therapists.

[CanadianGirl]

If it's sadness about the distance, I show it by joking around, so he knows it's on my mind but it's not crippling sadness that would make me leave him. If we hit a rough patch and it's something we can work on right now, I don't try to hide how I feel. Even if I want to hide it, it shows in my face and he picks up on it pretty quickly.

[glasspaper]

i agree.
The distance thing is challenging.
Its great to always know what each others truely feel day by day, time to time.
But, theres some moments when it even could be worse.
You're sad and cry and all, at the same time on the other part of the world your SO is sad too, plus feeling bad because he/she couldn't do certain things for you due to the distance thing.
I think thats why i prefer to hold certain emotion for myself alone, the LDR itself just not easy, and maybe it would be better to not make it harder with too much showing our "suffering" to our SO, and try to learn how to cope it by ourself nstead..

[TwoThree]

I do not hide my tears from my SO, no more than I hide my laughter or any other emotional state. We don't skype that often, but he can hear tears in my voice on the phone sometimes. And when we're together, we're ALWAYS together, so there's no running away from him to cry in private. It's part of who I am, and part of who we are. He doesn't hide his tears from me, either.

There's something I'd hate to do, though, and it's using my tears to sway him or make him feel bad or manipulate him. I try to be mindful of those things when I get emotional.

[nottheprincesspeach]

I grew up with a father that told me my tears were manipulation and manipulation was witchcraft so if I cried I was a witch (and the biblical implications of that). My SO is the first male that I have allowed myself to cry in front of and he had to basically make that happen. Before I would hold it all in until I was alone or cut off mid-communication and leave to go cry. I don't know that I would tell him that I was crying if he wasn't talking to me or something, but I would tell him I was sad. In fact that's probably all that I would tell him.

[glasspaper]

We rarely talk on t.he phone like you, twothree
Now i'm so jealouuus lol

[Tesfaye]

He can always tell. He knows that I can be very emotional sometimes, especially when we talk about seeing each other. Even when we're just texting, he'll ask if I'm okay because he can tell I'm not. I always tell him when I'm crying, but sometimes I don't even have to. I guess we just have that connection...

[glasspaper]

nottheprincesspeach,
I can relate to that crying mindset thing that certain people try to tell us. When i was still living with parents, my father always criticize it when he seen me and my brother and even my mom cry.
It made me learn how to hide my emotion and not overly express my feeling and think that cry is indicating weakness.
I just show it to very few people.
And for a person that i haven't met before, he is the first one who saw me cry.

[Ahava]

I think he saw me cry for the first time a couple weeks ago. Before he has seen me on the verge of tears (but I've always managed to keep them in while we say good bye at the airport and just after he has left...Niagara falls). I've become more confident in showing my feelings and telling about them. I'm also one of those people who are unable to hide their feelings. It shows from my face.

[80anthea]

If I happen to cry in front of him, I just cry. I don't try and hide it from him, nor would I like him trying to hide it from me. Sadness to me is just another emotion, if I'm sad, I tell him just like if I'm happy, I tell him.