Showing off your tears?

[Hollandia]

I grew up with a father that told me my tears were manipulation and manipulation was witchcraft so if I cried I was a witch (and the biblical implications of that). My SO is the first male that I have allowed myself to cry in front of and he had to basically make that happen. Before I would hold it all in until I was alone or cut off mid-communication and leave to go cry. I don't know that I would tell him that I was crying if he wasn't talking to me or something, but I would tell him I was sad. In fact that's probably all that I would tell him.

Wow, how did he feel about people that cried at sad movies alone? I was brought up baptist and I have never heard anything like that. No Offense, just shocked. I cry at a really good Hallmark commercial. I also cry at really happy stuff too. I am basically a big wuss puppy.

[nottheprincesspeach]

Wow, how did he feel about people that cried at sad movies alone? I was brought up baptist and I have never heard anything like that. No Offense, just shocked. I cry at a really good Hallmark commercial. I also cry at really happy stuff too. I am basically a big wuss puppy.

When I was a child I balled when it looked like the ape died in Mighty Joe Young. I was five or six, so I kept crying even when you could tell he didn't die. I balled so loudly the theater next door could hear me. That was more permissible to him. But he still makes fun of me for it nowadays. He really only had a problem with me crying when he was yelling at me, and he yelled a lot. He didn't believe we would hear him and understand unless he was yelling. He was a pastor. He and I developed a much better relationship as I've gotten older and he has gotten less involved with the church. Nowadays when he yells I walk out or yell back.

[ErinKristine]

My guy shows his tears when we're saying goodbye for long periods of time, I tend to not show mine since it would upset him more.

[François]

Personally, I'm not someone who cries often and even less in front others.
I never cried with her on the phone, but I almost did once. When I felt the tears coming I stopped talking to try to contain me but she knew immediately what happened. She knew how to be more stronger than me that day but she confessed me for the first time she cried sometimes, when the distance become much to bear.

[snow]

I'm not hiding my tears from my man, but I don't mention them if he wouldn't be able to notice. When I cry while skyping with him or talking to him on TeamSpeak I will let him know and he usually hears it himself, but when I cry while I'm alone in my bed, or taking a shower or whatnot, I don't tell him. It would only make him feel bad for not being here.

[Hollandia]

When I was a child I balled when it looked like the ape died in Mighty Joe Young. I was five or six, so I kept crying even when you could tell he didn't die. I balled so loudly the theater next door could hear me. That was more permissible to him. But he still makes fun of me for it nowadays. He really only had a problem with me crying when he was yelling at me, and he yelled a lot. He didn't believe we would hear him and understand unless he was yelling. He was a pastor. He and I developed a much better relationship as I've gotten older and he has gotten less involved with the church. Nowadays when he yells I walk out or yell back.

Sure, I understand. My mom bought Harold Camping hook line and sinker, I understand when parents take it too far. She realizes she was fooled by a false prophet now. Not same thing but similar. I used to do the whole sheband... bible study, youth group and memorizing bible versus for the contests. I had just never heard of anything in the bible that stated in any way shape or form that tears were a sign of witchcraft. When I hear stuff like that, it makes me think about how Howard Camping took verses out of context to twist their meaning to fit his needs. I am glad to hear your dad got away from that. My church was Southern Baptist and my pastor never had any sermons on anything like that. That was a long time ago and tbh, I am more a believer in God now and less a believer in any organized religion.

Tears are a bodily function and since our body is our temple then they are, if you believe in him for those that don't, a product of God. Any other way to look at it, seems to contradict itself to me, but hey would have been interesting to have ever met your Dad. You know I love a good debate.

[SaraHonRara]

I grew up in a family were everyone cries in front of each other all the time. My dad the most! We only had two rules in our house, your not allowed to go to bed angry with someone else in the family, or to cry alone without telling someone. So I still sometimes call my parents if I am crying. I cry quit a lot, and it would be so hard to hide it from him. Luckily he is the most understanding I have ever met, so if were together or apart he always cares so much and tries his hardest to help.

[Sanja]

I try to keep a happy face because I know how hard it is for him to see me cry. I've cried during our Skype time, when I was leaving him at the airport and I let him see the tears of joy when he proposed. I'm comfortable enough with him to show my emotions, whether it be happiness or sadness.

[Lovebee]

I cry easily but not often. A sad film (or a happy one) will get me - especially Disney! - and my SO is used to that. I've cried in front of him a few times, often just out of a desperate need to vent emotions that I've been keeping in for too long. On my last visit we had a fight that triggered me to start crying, and I had a hard time stopping, there was just so much that needed to be processed with tears.

I see no shame in it, and he doesn't judge me for it.

[Sarah96]

Hmmm.... I don't always like letting people see me cry. I'm usually a very strong person but he seems to be my weakness and I've probably cried more since we've been together than I ever have. Usually he doesn't know when I'm crying because it tends to be when we're going to bed and I really miss him and just want to be with him. After we send our goodnight texts I cry myself to sleep. However there have been a few times that I have cried on the phone with him because I miss him and one time I cried because we were fighting on the phone. I try not to cry because it makes him upset and he doesn't like when I get that upset, so normally I keep it to myself.

[Atreyu]

We do tell each other that we cried, but we haven't seen each other cried yet.

[piratemama]

Sure, I understand. My mom bought Harold Camping hook line and sinker, I understand when parents take it too far. She realizes she was fooled by a false prophet now. Not same thing but similar. I used to do the whole sheband... bible study, youth group and memorizing bible versus for the contests. I had just never heard of anything in the bible that stated in any way shape or form that tears were a sign of witchcraft. When I hear stuff like that, it makes me think about how Howard Camping took verses out of context to twist their meaning to fit his needs. I am glad to hear your dad got away from that. My church was Southern Baptist and my pastor never had any sermons on anything like that. That was a long time ago and tbh, I am more a believer in God now and less a believer in any organized religion.

Tears are a bodily function and since our body is our temple then they are, if you believe in him for those that don't, a product of God. Any other way to look at it, seems to contradict itself to me, but hey would have been interesting to have ever met your Dad. You know I love a good debate.

In the Bible in John 11:35, it says Jesus wept; in Psalm 56:8 we see that our sorrows and tears are recorded. Most Christians believe God cares about our sorrows, not that we are witches because of them. (Edited to show that I agree with Hollandia. I'm not trying to disagree with her at all. I think she is completely right on her points, but I realized it might look that way.)

OP - I do cry a great deal, because I miss my SO and it hurts. Many of those sessions are not shared with my SO, although sometimes I will tell him. It depends on the situation. He has not seen me cry, yet. At the airport when he was leaving, I was trying hard not to cry. He was sad, and I didn't want to hurt him more. I squalled all the way home, though! My SO did hear me crying a few times on the phone. The worst was when he told me that he couldn't promise when he could see me next. That broke my heart. Thankfully, that was a long time ago, and we are planning on a visit this summer. If the tears flow for some reason in front of him, I wouldn't hide it. However, I don't always share that I'm crying almost daily, either. I want him to know I am emotional at times, that I miss him, and that it hurts, but I don't want to make him feel bad about something he can't change now. So far, I've been able to keep it together for him on Skype and cry after we finish. Most of the crying sessions are cleansing for me. I can straighten back up and soldier on.

[ldrxoxo]

I never cried on Skype whenever we would video chat. Yesterday was the first time how I told him how I truly, and really, really felt. He never tells me if he's crying when he's not talking to me. Whenever we Skype, I pretend like this distance doesn't bother me and that we talk normally you'd think we'd ask each other to hang out and that's when it hits us that we can't. I almost cried once in front of him. I only text him how much I wish I could be with him but I don't cry in front of him. He doesn't cry in front of me. He hardly shares anything with me on how he's truly feeling other than he doesn't think this will work and he said if we were in any different situation where we could make it work he would...He never tells me if he cries. The only things he says are he really enjoys talking to me it's just that we're so far and don't have the means or money to travel.

[itsjen516]

He has seen me cry a lot tbh it happens i try not to hide it since he already knows me to well

[differentcountries]

In the beginning, he was very upset that I cried. But my first tears to him were actually tears of joy! I had just met him and I was just amazed we were falling in love. Man, he is so inexperienced, he never even knew it was possable to cry for reasons other than sadness. Now, if he sees me cry he will ask if they are happy or sad tears. He will also hear any change in my voice when we Skype, so he will catch me trying to not cry! I am used to cry in front of others, I don't mind, it is just sometimes it is easier not to cry, or cry alone . His sister died a year ago, the family is still moarning yet I have not seen him cry once. But I know from his ways when he is sad and avoiding the issue. I usually don't bawl my eyes out from sadness, but we talk about being sad, especially with missing each other. And the trip before the latest one, he hurt my feelings by saying something I didn't like , I was so shocked I started to cry right then and there. He had to deal then! Sometimes I think he provokes situations like that to be able to stirr what goes on in himself, I think he likes my sensitive side because I do not really lean on him; actually it is more like me conforting him if he is upset that he/I am sad. His mother and grandmother are both tough widows that raised a lot of kids on little money...really nice people but not the best examples on how to feel easy around your more sensitive sides. I feel that is where I can give him most; to be easy around himself when he is alone. Strangely enough, we never cry in the airport. I think that as long as we can see and hold each other, we don't really believe we will actually be apart... Last time I cried for 4 hours STRAIGHT on the Istanbul-Oslo flight (this trip took forever, however, and I was so exhausted I mostly slept)! It feels really, really good to cry sometimes, like a mental cleanse. And sometimes my eyes will well up during sex. Which brings me back to tears of joy again... It is easier to cry when actually in front of him, because then he can still hear what I am trying to say. Sometimes I have cried over Skype and just written along with it.