Stressed and shutting him out...

Hey everybody..

So this past two weeks have been extremely stressful for me...I have had a lot of family drama, my birthday flub with my SO, issues with my education, my job and my friends...
It's just been a really rough time...

And lately I feel like my SO have been really distant...and so when i brought it up, he told me that he feels like I'm shutting him out...
And I don't know what to do...
Ive never really been faced with this situation...

How can I manage my stress levels without blocking out my SO...?

[OperaDiva]

Hi I don't think needing your own space is a bad thing actually, as long as you communicate it clearly. For instance, I am the kind of person that switches between introvert and extrovert moments (I believe we all are like that, in our own ways, but that is beside the point) and there certainly are times when I am quiet and introspective, there are times when I need help or company, times when I enjoy a party, and times when I need to be left alone. Tell him what you need and that you don't love him any less when you are in your own space

[squeeker]

Yes I think OperaDiva has some good words there, I think that you should let him know that you didn't mean to shut him out but sometimes when you have a lot going on, you just need to deal with it on your own a bit.. a bit like switching between introvert and extravert, in a way like OperaDiva said. I think you just need to reassure him that you weren't trying to hurt him, but you were dealing with a lot of issues and you had to sort them out in your own head first before talking to him. He should be able to understand that.. after you explain more of it. Maybe also explain that you didn't want to burden him with the issues/problems going on in your life, at least not while you were initially trying to sort them out? So he can see more of why you weren't trying to hurt him or leave him out..

[Jaac]

I should make it clear to him that (how cliché) it isn't him, but it's you.
explain why you need your time and explain why you have been kind of shutting him out.
It's ok that you need your alone time, especially when you're dealing with some difficult issues.
but COMMUNICATE it with him. He will respect your alone time, but only when he knows what's going on.
Otherise he'll just freak out and think you dont love him anymore.
(I am kind of in the middle of this exact same situation, only it's my SO that needs space and time)
So yeah, I hope this helps you a bit.
It's ok to take a step back and just have a little chat every (other) day.
but communicate communicate communicate......!

[differentcountries]

2 weeks is not a long time. But when you feel shut out, it can be really tiresome. I disagree, I don't think this has to do with alone time and private space. Your world feels chaotic, and probably you want to spare him from that. The problem is, we are seldom as good at conpartalizing as we think. Something will spill over. Recognizing this may help. Talk about what has changed and how this make you feel. Even if you have no emmediate solution, just sharing can go a long way.