Not a good situation

[MTK]

Well, first off, flirting isn't harmless. It's showing the other person that you're interested and t hat's not a good foot to start on especially if you might actually be interested in the other person

I am going to have to disagree on that. For some flirting bears no meaning behind it other then to flirt, maybe boost yours or the other persons self-esteem/confidence.


Him being angry could be because they have a lot of history together and he didn't expect that she would have cheated on him. Funny how the mind works.
You should talk to him about why he was so angry and if he still has any lingering feelings for her.
But i would have to agree that keeping an extra eye on him would be good because you know he has cheated before. It might be a one time deal but if there is any red flags going off then you need to adress it asap.

[LadyMarchHare]

I am going to have to disagree on that. For some flirting bears no meaning behind it other then to flirt, maybe boost yours or the other persons self-esteem/confidence.

And I will disagree with you. Flirting is flirting, it puts out an intention for something whether it's sex or a phone number. Prime example is my best friend. She flirts with everything that is male and though she means nothing by it, she is constantly being offered no-strings-attached sex. Why? Because she's giving a signal. It may be harmless to her, but it certainly isn't for those she flirts with. When she was dating her SO was constantly trying to get her to stop it but she saw no harm. To me it's disgusting, it's like the old $20 on a string prank.

[MTK]

And I will disagree with you. Flirting is flirting, it puts out an intention for something whether it's sex or a phone number. Prime example is my best friend. She flirts with everything that is male and though she means nothing by it, she is constantly being offered no-strings-attached sex. Why? Because she's giving a signal. It may be harmless to her, but it certainly isn't for those she flirts with. When she was dating her SO was constantly trying to get her to stop it but she saw no harm. To me it's disgusting, it's like the old $20 on a string prank.

The flirting in itself from your friend is harmless as she means nothing by it, how the other people take it is up to them. As i stated, for some it bears no meaning, for others it means a lot. It depends on the person that is doing the flirting.
If asked by your SO to stop i would definitely say that it should be stopped. No sense in sacrificing the relationship for something like that.

[Caitlin2009]

well let me just say a little flirting is fine nothing wrong with it but once it goes past giving a hug then you need to worry. I would get rid of this guy ASAP he is showing all the signs of a cheater, and if he cheated on his ex wife odds are he'll do it to you once a cheater always a cheater

[Tanja]

once a cheater always a cheater

I have to disagree, I've cheated my ex in the past but I would never ever do it again, it caused too much pain and heartache to everyone involved. People can change.

[annamorgan]

I agree with LadyMarchHare.

[LadyMarchHare]

The flirting in itself from your friend is harmless as she means nothing by it, how the other people take it is up to them. As i stated, for some it bears no meaning, for others it means a lot. It depends on the person that is doing the flirting.
If asked by your SO to stop i would definitely say that it should be stopped. No sense in sacrificing the relationship for something like that.

Flirting is interpreted generally as a 'come hither' sort of thing, hence my saying even if the person doing it means nothing by it, it means something to someone else and it does take two to tango, so to speak. Plus, I find it's a general insult for people to flirt while in a relationship. Harmless or no it's still bad manners because of the possibility it can be taken wrong. Plus if you're careless enough with the 'fake' flirting, how are they to know when it's 'real' flirting as well? And yes I agree if asked to stop they should no question, but it's like people who smoke; they see no harm in what they're doing therefore it's you that has the problem.

caitlin: Like Tanja said, it's not true. Yes they're more likely but people DO regret being unfaithful and work to not repeat their mistake.

[MTK]

Flirting is interpreted generally as a 'come hither' sort of thing, hence my saying even if the person doing it means nothing by it, it means something to someone else and it does take two to tango, so to speak. Plus, I find it's a general insult for people to flirt while in a relationship. Harmless or no it's still bad manners because of the possibility it can be taken wrong. Plus if you're careless enough with the 'fake' flirting, how are they to know when it's 'real' flirting as well? And yes I agree if asked to stop they should no question, but it's like people who smoke; they see no harm in what they're doing therefore it's you that has the problem.

Flirting doesn't always mean anything sexual. Sure, generally it is interpreted as a "come hither" thing but you can never control how people take things. I belive that it is okay to flirt if that is what you feel like, and no matter what you can't decide how the other person sees it. I see it as harmless because it depends on the people involved, some flirt for fun and they should be allowed to do that if they want to, other flirt because they want to test the waters and see if there is any interest. Flirting can be a lot of things, not just going around acting like a prostitute.
Depending on the persons in the relationship it can or cannot be an insult. Some are actually okay as they feel secure enough with their SO that they don't feel like their flirting is going to hurt the relationship. Other people will see it as an insult to their relationship because of the way they view their relationship and the morals that they have and both sides should be respected.

[LadyMarchHare]

Flirting doesn't always mean anything sexual. Sure, generally it is interpreted as a "come hither" thing but you can never control how people take things. I belive that it is okay to flirt if that is what you feel like, and no matter what you can't decide how the other person sees it. I see it as harmless because it depends on the people involved, some flirt for fun and they should be allowed to do that if they want to, other flirt because they want to test the waters and see if there is any interest. Flirting can be a lot of things, not just going around acting like a prostitute.
Depending on the persons in the relationship it can or cannot be an insult. Some are actually okay as they feel secure enough with their SO that they don't feel like their flirting is going to hurt the relationship. Other people will see it as an insult to their relationship because of the way they view their relationship and the morals that they have and both sides should be respected.

Well no, flirting isn't always "give me sex" but I was mainly talking of heavy flirting, which is kind of what that is, and flirting within a relationship which was relevant to this thread. But to me, if you're going so far as to flirt with someone while in a relationship for, as you mentioned in another post, something like an ego boost, that's why you have your SO. You shouldn't need the boost because you KNOW you have someone who wants you, why do you need to be reassured of this? Me I would see it as an insult because I take casual flirting seriously as well as serious flirting. There's a time when, like you said, it's harmless, and other times when it does significant damage.

[MTK]

Well no, flirting isn't always "give me sex" but I was mainly talking of heavy flirting, which is kind of what that is, and flirting within a relationship which was relevant to this thread. But to me, if you're going so far as to flirt with someone while in a relationship for, as you mentioned in another post, something like an ego boost, that's why you have your SO. You shouldn't need the boost because you KNOW you have someone who wants you, why do you need to be reassured of this? Me I would see it as an insult because I take casual flirting seriously as well as serious flirting. There's a time when, like you said, it's harmless, and other times when it does significant damage.

I was just generally talking about "light" flirting as "heavy" flirting might lead to one thing or another and that wasn't really my point at the moment. My point was just that some flirting was harmless, in my opinion, and other kinds of flirting wasn't.
Indeed, but some people don't always feel satisfied with the attention that their SO is giving them or they might feel neglected or in other cases their SO might like that they get so much attention and feel good that someone so sought after is theirs. It's all kind of something that you have to go case by case with.

[Karringtyn]

I have to disagree, I've cheated my ex in the past but I would never ever do it again, it caused too much pain and heartache to everyone involved. People can change.

Totally agree. A cheater is NOT ALWAYS a cheater. Life changes..people change. they grow..they learn. I am 41 now..I will never ever ever cause the pain I caused again. I am no longer that person.

[Tanja]

Totally agree. A cheater is NOT ALWAYS a cheater. Life changes..people change. they grow..they learn. I am 41 now..I will never ever ever cause the pain I caused again. I am no longer that person.

Amen to that!