I don't know how I feel about this. Well, I do. I'm happy, very happy. Yet I'm also scared. I'm 17, just turned. The girl I love is 14, turning 15 in July. We met over a chat site called Chatango in late 2012, and since then have become best friends who cannot live without each other. Since I couldn't date back then (and still can't) even though we liked each other, we seemingly moved on from each other. In all honesty, my feelings never truly went away. I had fleeting crushes, things I thought were serious or could actually go somewhere someday after my parental ban on females was lifted, but I was only fooling myself. Each time I gave the ones I wanted some real thought, I came to the realization that I couldn't date anyway and either told them how I felt just to get it out, or let my crush die out. We had a little break in October 2013, she got into another relationship and we didn't talk for a little while. To my dismay and hers, the guy cheated on her. She was really torn up after that, it was her first relationship that wasn't an LDR.
Being the friend I was, despite my feelings I tried to be there for her. On one night when I confessed how I felt, she apologized for talking about other guys around me, because she knew I wouldn't be too happy hearing about it. She also said she felt jealous when I mentioned other girls as well. As time progressed, it's as if we fell for each other all over again. I love her, and she loves me too. However, I still can't date. On top of the fact that it's been a month since their breakup. They were together for five months, and I kind of feel like a rebound..
Fast forward to today. Today, we were talking. I told her and my other friends I would take a week or two off from Facebook and other forms of communication, because I was dealing with stress and wanted to think things through alone for once. My thoughts about her were included, I was afraid to risk my heart. This basically meant I wouldn't speak to her much at all for a week or two, given that Facebook and texting are our main forms of communication. That made her cry, and made me feel sick to my stomach.
She talked about some other two or three guys in the group chat we had with her friends and mine, talking about how two of them hugged her, one of them tried to kiss her, one had a crush but wasn't exactly acting on it and some other guy was trying to flirt with her and get with her. This made me jealous. I expressed how I felt, and when I did she said I had nothing to worry about, and that she'd wait for me. This made me speechless, to say the least. She said that in all honesty it would be hard to wait, but she'd do it. I told her I'd wait for her too.
I don't want to burden her with waiting for me. She has options, I don't. And even though I love her dearly and trust her, I still have my minimal doubts. She's a natural flirt, and guys do get attracted to her, so I always feel like I'd have competition. She says I have nothing to worry about, yet says it would be hard to wait. LDRs are hard, naturally. But with these added possible issues it would be even worse. She knows how I feel about the flirting, and says she doesn't even know she does it.It's all a matter of trust. My friend told me that if she says she'll wait, I should just trust her and enjoy the ride, keeping possible failure in mind. The wait would be for a good..two years, until I go meet her for her sixteenth birthday, and that isn't even set in stone. I've done this once before and it didn't go all that well, turns out the girl I was with had a boyfriend I didn't know about. That wound keeps me in check. What should I do.?
Being the friend I was, despite my feelings I tried to be there for her. On one night when I confessed how I felt, she apologized for talking about other guys around me, because she knew I wouldn't be too happy hearing about it. She also said she felt jealous when I mentioned other girls as well. As time progressed, it's as if we fell for each other all over again. I love her, and she loves me too. However, I still can't date. On top of the fact that it's been a month since their breakup. They were together for five months, and I kind of feel like a rebound..
Fast forward to today. Today, we were talking. I told her and my other friends I would take a week or two off from Facebook and other forms of communication, because I was dealing with stress and wanted to think things through alone for once. My thoughts about her were included, I was afraid to risk my heart. This basically meant I wouldn't speak to her much at all for a week or two, given that Facebook and texting are our main forms of communication. That made her cry, and made me feel sick to my stomach.
She talked about some other two or three guys in the group chat we had with her friends and mine, talking about how two of them hugged her, one of them tried to kiss her, one had a crush but wasn't exactly acting on it and some other guy was trying to flirt with her and get with her. This made me jealous. I expressed how I felt, and when I did she said I had nothing to worry about, and that she'd wait for me. This made me speechless, to say the least. She said that in all honesty it would be hard to wait, but she'd do it. I told her I'd wait for her too.
I don't want to burden her with waiting for me. She has options, I don't. And even though I love her dearly and trust her, I still have my minimal doubts. She's a natural flirt, and guys do get attracted to her, so I always feel like I'd have competition. She says I have nothing to worry about, yet says it would be hard to wait. LDRs are hard, naturally. But with these added possible issues it would be even worse. She knows how I feel about the flirting, and says she doesn't even know she does it.It's all a matter of trust. My friend told me that if she says she'll wait, I should just trust her and enjoy the ride, keeping possible failure in mind. The wait would be for a good..two years, until I go meet her for her sixteenth birthday, and that isn't even set in stone. I've done this once before and it didn't go all that well, turns out the girl I was with had a boyfriend I didn't know about. That wound keeps me in check. What should I do.?
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