Not seeing him for over a year

[Jaac]

Hi Guys,

My SO and I have had a really tough month.
He wasn't sure of a relationship anymore and he needed time to think.
While it broke my heart, I gave him space.
Since 2,5 weeks we're talking again, today he told me he is in this relationship for a 200% and I don't have to be scared that he is going to leave me.

He is about to move back to South Africa (He had just moved to Australia, but is very unhappy there).
But that won't be untill september. Untill then he is working is butt off to save up enough money to go back and to pay everything he has to pay when hes back in SA.
Today he also told me that he doesnt think it's gonna be possible for me to visit him in summer.
Which freaked me out because that means we maybe won't see each other for a year!!!!!!
A year!!

Since we've just started chatting again, and he doesnt have acces to internet to skype, we aren't really sharing much.
I really hope we can have a serious conversation and I hope everything will go back to normal.

The thing that really bothers me is that I won't see him for such a long time!
Maybe he'll change his mind over time. But I'm just scared.
How do people cope with not seeing your SO for a year or maybe longer?

[Suuz]

Personally, i never have to wait a year so i cant really give you advice about that.
I can imagine that this thought has scared you but try not to freak out too much yet. A lot can change in one year. Who knows? Maybe there will be an oppurtunity for you guys to see eachother, even if it seems impossible now. Dont lose hope!

I hope you can have a good conversation with him, and that you can sort things out. Hopefully you can visit him sometime this year! Good luck!

[RachelAnne]

Personally, i never have to wait a year so i cant really give you advice about that.
I can imagine that this thought has scared you but try not to freak out too much yet. A lot can change in one year. Who knows? Maybe there will be an oppurtunity for you guys to see eachother, even if it seems impossible now. Dont lose hope!

I hope you can have a good conversation with him, and that you can sort things out. Hopefully you can visit him sometime this year! Good luck!

^ I agree with this. Maybe there can be a way for ya'll to plan a short visit with one another during the year, don't start thinking negatively about the situation now. Just keep communicating with him, keep busy, and the time with fly Best of luck!

[kittyo9]

<- 2 years here. You kind of settle into a routine and just get used to it. That's all you can really do. Try to talk to each other as much as possible on Skype or instant messenger and make the most of the time you have together by sharing parts about your day with one another. Send letters or packages if you can. If you have time, make something for your SO once in a while that expresses how you feel. Do things together online, like watching youtube videos together or playing games. Most importantly, be open and honest with one another when you talk and never hide your feelings if you're unhappy or sad.

[piratemama]

I'm sorry you will have to wait a year to see your SO, but you can make it. It's really good that you already have a time frame, so you can begin to count down and watch those numbers get smaller and smaller week by week. My SO and I are planning a visit for June, and that will be only 2 months shy of two years since we were together. It has been hard, but we've grown closer and spent hours talking over Skype. I've tried my best to see the glass as half full and see any positives to the situation. You do get creative by necessity.

I'm glad your SO has promised to stay in the relationship. That's great. With that good attitude, you two can make it.

[squeeker]

One time I waited exactly a year between visits, it was doable, and now I have to wait over a year between my last visit and my next visit, but I know I will survive. Kittyo9 gives great pointers, just keep your communication during the time, keep each other informed on what is going on, that way you keep involved in each others' lives. Skype (or otherwise video chat) as much as you can, because it's as close to being there without being there. Share pictures and videos with each other, watch YouTube, play games, talk about what's going on in your lives, what you want to do, what you are going to do when you next see each other.

And remember, even if it seems far away now, even if you don't have a next visit planned, each day you take is still a step closer to the next time you see your SO. Good luck and stay strong!!

[Jaac]

Thanks for the reactions. It's true that it may seem impossible now, but you never know what the future holds. At first he told me that him keeping his distance to me was gonna last a long time too. That changed cause we're chatting everyday again.
Maybe in a couple of weeks or months he realises that we actually can make a plan for the summer.

But its true that some people have been apart from their SO for longer. I just had it all planned out and I always freak out hen big plans aren't gonna work out.
It just sounds so long ey. One YEAR.
I that he can Skype soon and I hope that he can also Skype in SA. He will be working in the bush, so its always a question if there's WiFi.

Thanks again for the reactions. They always make me feel better!

[xanzbarr]

I could be way wrong, but it sounds like to me the only reason he took the break in the relationship was because he knew it would be a long time in between seeing each other. Sounds like to me he decided that waiting was worth it because he couldn't imagine being without you. I think you should just trust in him and the relationship and know he thinks of you every day and wants to be with you like you want to be with him. Of course time will tell but it sounds like love won out and you should feel free to hold him close in your heart.

[itsjen516]

wow im not gonna lie that would be soo hard for me till the point where i go crazy i hope you can see each other sooner. Best of luck

[ErinKristine]

When I didn't see my guy for a little over a year he was deployed, we had limited contact. It was totally doable though. Back home I got into a routine and got used to hearing from him sporadically. We made the most out of using things like Facebook messenger and Skype. We also wrote a ton of letters and I had fun sending packages; one of my favorites was sending movie night packages. Even if we couldn't watch the movie at the same time we would still both watch a movie and then once we had both seen it we talked about it. Sometimes we needed things like that to spark conversation because there were instances that our conversations were struggling.

[youngisthan]

I know its tough to live without seeing your love for one year but don't get so much panic. I think he himself has come to you with the firm decision on being with you 200% then you trust him. An long distance relationship is also a fun if you think in another way.

[differentcountries]

I had fun sending packages; one of my favorites was sending movie night packages. Even if we couldn't watch the movie at the same time we would still both watch a movie and then once we had both seen it we talked about it.

That sounds like a great idea! I don't bother to send SO packages anymore since it is almost faster to fly down there myself, but you gave me an idea as to what I might leave with him next time...

As to OP; I really don't know what I would do if I had to wait a whole year to see my bf. I see that he will struggle financially and time-wise because he will be moving to SA, but it still might be possable for you to go see him in summer, or when he is settled in SA. I hope he is not shutting you out because he feels low about being in/leaving Australia.

I hope he gets acess to Skype soon because that really makes things easier. In the meantime, you might want to have a look at the love letter writing suggestions and gifts/crafts suggestions. They are not all in the respective threads. I really love the Encouragement Calender that is on Reddit and YouTube - mine was not exactly the same but the one posted was huge inspiration. My BF currently have an Encouragementcalender of 30 days/pages + a small photo album in the end. Also, the Open When-letters and even the Compliment book/52 deck of cards is great to both remind you that you love him (plus gives you something to do) and remind him of your love. I think I will start on the 2nd E-Calender now, a little shorter because we will see each other after 3 weeks when I leave next time. The Reddit guy's girlfriend got her calenders sent in the mail 30 days each, and was constantly reading one while he worked in the next. They seemed to have fun with it.