reflection

[lyonsgirl]

On the comparing marriage to LDR: nope. They're completely different beasts, with their own challenges. Sure, LDRs help you in some ways, like, figuring out how the hell to get through fights (sometimes). But, it does NOTHING to prepare you for living with each other. Hell, if anything, it makes it worse when the time comes. Yes, it's doable and it's great - but that doesn't change the fact that it's hard to adjust to living with this person.

IMO - LDRs are temporary. Marriage is not. (Yes I understand there are different opinions on this, but this is my opinion.) An LDR will eventually end. The marriage won't. A lot of fights for us were because of the distance - now that we are married, yes, we still fight. The arguments have changed, the issues have changed, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

Is it worth it? Absolutely. But is it similar? Oh hell no.

ETA: By no means am I an "expert" on LDRs or marriage. This is based on my experiences alone.

[differentcountries]

LDR's are different from each other, marriages too, not one couple is alike. Relationships always have their struggles no matter how they are structured. My boyfriend and I don't fight much, it is more he is so terribly sad to be away from me and I get upset he is distant. I can't even imagine what kind of things we would fight over. No, sorry, that is naive... We will fight, because people fight and I have made him angry sometimes. But we will probably not fight over a theme. It will be more like children kicking when they don't want to go to bed. Finally we will cave in to sleep. That is my experience with my husband too. There are some fights in the beginning of a relationship that are about not knowing each other yet. Then there are some fights that are more about changing and the pain of change. Still, the most common fights are just nonsense. I am tired of agression and fighting - I just cry, like I did when I was a child and very overwealmed. And they become caring and we don't fight anymore. Not all LDRs end. End even when they do, some aspects of that long distance may remain; the cultural differences, the family living in another place, money tied of for visits so you may still have to "feed" the LDR aspect and adjust, just like marriage is about adjusting to the other person and to go along with the changes of life.

[sarahjane1992]

My SO and I have been together for almost a year, LD the whole time. Before we got together, we both dated a couple people but nothing serious. When we met each other, we just knew. During the past year, I have learned a lot about myself. I have become a stronger person. I have become more patient and don't take things for granted like I used too. I have found my best friend and someone who makes me smile everyday. When we first started talking, I flat out asked him if he'd date me even though I was so far away. He said yes without hesitation! That's when I knew.

There have been a lot of people who ask me why I do it. Why I would put myself through all this. But I've always said, when you find the one you know. The time apart is hell, and I miss my SO like crazy, but we're in it for the long haul. I'm excited to one day call him my husband

[Chlo]

It's crazy to think that we've been doing this for nearly a year now, a year of heart wrenching distance. People say you learn to cope, but I'm not sure I have, I mean I can't put into words how I cope, I'm probably an emotional wreck the majority of the time but I try, and he helps, we're a team fighting this battle. Thankfully, he is stronger than me and keeps my head held high, keeps me on the positive path, since I like to cross to the negative one quite often.
I know I'm hard work, being overly emotional is hard to deal with, but for some strange reason he tells me everyday that he loves me anyway.

I've learnt that we can aggravate each other too, which is pretty funny looking at it now. We argue, like any other couple but it doesn't last, which makes me feel like we're good for one another. Everyone fights, but I feel it's how you get over it which really shows how strong you are as a couple.

We also push one another to do better. Finding someone who cares for you on that sort of level, who cares for your life and well being is difficult. We may not like what we say to one another sometimes but we know its for our best interest. Every step is a step in the right direction.

Our relationship has its ups and downs, and we're still learning to cope with the distance and sometimes each other, but we choose to stick at it and everyday I am grateful for this man, I thank God for this wonderful yet saddening situation. I pray that one day, we can close the distance.