I met the girl I had a LDR with for 2 years. Now after 6 weeks things changed.

[carlose1886]

I have been in a long distance relationship with a girl from Austria. This last month I have gone to see her for 6 weeks. It was the best six weeks of my life because of after seeing her on skype, in writing letters and texting a lot everything felt so right until the day that I had to come back so i wouldn't lose my job. Which really made me hit rock bottom. A few days later we felt we were not as close as we were before. Like something changed or it wasn't the same. Was going to see her in person turned out to be a bad idea? Did it change everything? It's been really hard lately on weekend we had arguments, became disappointed and also to being sad alot. I don't know what happen or what went wrong. We used to talk all the time and not care if we have 9 hour difference. But now it seems something went wrong. I miss being with her to this day (physically being with her). Now we talk and it feels its not what it used to be before i met her in person. Now i feel more sad and would sometimes cry myself to sleep. I don't want to lose her. After all we been through and effort we made to have this relationship. I need to know how i can "fight for our love" also to bring back that passion we had before we met. Now i just seems to make her angry when shw says she's not. What must i do before its too late.

[Moon]

How long have you been home? Unfortunately it's pretty common for things to be a bit off after a visit, it happens a lot, as you can see in many posts on this site. It usually wears off after a few weeks, or so, so if you're just getting back, just be patient for a little while. Try just having some normal conversations, without over-thinking them, and if in fact nothing is wrong, things will return to normal.

We all go through a little of this, LDR's can be very hard sometimes, try to stay strong and get through the post-visit blues. Good luck.

[itsjen516]

I feel this happens to many of us, its just the sadness getting to you and the frustration of being away. My SO and i had issues after i was there for 2 weeks. It hoestly took about 3 weeks or so to FINALLY get back to normal. See what happens over the next few weeks and make sure to ask her how she is feeling and how you feel about all this

[KaylaLovesZach]

Having to leave after being (physically) together for a while can be really tough. I remember feeling like something was off when Zach went back home to Ohio. It's understandable though, because we were used to only Skyping, texting, and phone calls for six months. And then all of a sudden we were able to physically be with each other for a little while. And then he had to leave, and we were back to only having Skype to see each other. It's a big change. You go from being in the same room, to not even being in the same state, so it's completely understandable that it takes some time to get used to. She might be coming across as angry because she's probably just as upset about not being physically together as you are. I think you should give it some time. Things can take some getting used to after your SO goes back home. I hope you both hang in there, and things get a little easier.

[carlose1886]

Thank you for the response. Well each day its been difficult. There were times I felt scared to say a word. I feel your right on the overthinking part. We had plans to want to be together. Of course its all not going well. There were times I swear I feel I haven't done anything wrong. When ever she shows a picture of a certain part of the city she lives in. I get like a home sick in away. When I mention it...I get a response from her saying "Well you decided to leave" like a way to make me feel bad for leaving. It seems she has different attitudes towards me. Now all these doubts are coming out of no where. Says "I ignore her". I really don't remember doing that. I'm soo devoted to her. But I always feel she is not happy about it.

[differentcountries]

It is very common for the person being left behind to be angry, even if the reason for leaving was perfectly reasonable, like going back to work. For the person left behind, everyday life reminds her/him of what is missing, and that can be really hard. The person who has left, feels a different kind of longing, being split between obligations and wanting to go back. You REALLY need to talk about this. The both of you need to snap out of your seperate bubbles. Try to see where the other person is coming from. Try not to step on toes.

What I really wonder is, when will you see each other next? Because if there is no set date for flights, or not even a rough estimate, that can send her into a sort of panic attack where she feels she has lost you forever. She knows you are far away, and busy with something else then her. She feels ignored because the SITUATION is so that he has experienced a big loss.

Can you do something to show her you remember and cherish her? Can you write her a letter, send her a gift, something to remind her? After I got together with my boyfriend/my zero visit so to speak, I sent him a neckless I bought. He loved it and always wear it. Can you give her something to ease the pain?

She, on the other hand, can in time try to help you. With me, I very much like him Skyping outdoors in places he have been, or sending me pictures, that makes me feel like part of his day and almost like I am in the landscape. Maybe if you talk about things, you can find something she can do to ease your longing.

Post-visit blues suck. You have all my sympathy. It can get better with time. Hopefully you can start plan being together again.

[temporaryuser]

The first visit/departure is very hard, especially when you spent a significant amount of time together.
For her, she has to see the places that you two were together frequently, and now you are no longer there. It is hard.
Try to set a date for another meeting, having something to look forward to helps a lot. Try not to talk about the fact that you had to leave, but rather when you will be together again.
Remind her of little things you did together so that she doesnt feel like youleft and just left it all behind.
I think everyone here has gone thru the same emotions.