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    cold feet

    I wade in the aftermath of a second meeting. I'm depressed. Surprisingly, this time I'm also angry. And part of me wants to run because I feel I'm not strong enough to ride this emotional roller-coaster from hell time and time again.

    I miss him so bad it literally hurts.
    Last edited by swerveCity; April 21, 2014, 03:44 PM. Reason: typo

    #2
    Originally posted by swerveCity View Post
    I wade in the aftermath of a second meeting. I'm depressed. Surprisingly, this time I'm also angry. And part of me wants to run because I feel I'm not strong enough to ride this emotional roller-coaster from hell time and time again.

    I miss him so bad it literally hurts.
    Perfectly normal feelings. Just don't take it out on him, because he is probably feeling the same loneliness and frustration as you. What you need to do is get busy doing things you enjoy, and get back into your own life routines again. Take time to calm down, and then start talking to him again. But don't ignore him, if he contacts you first.

    Don't focus on the negative feelings, that will only make you feel worse. Focus on the love you share, which is the reason you are in this LDR in the first place.


    TWO HEARTS BEATING AS ONE, LOVE BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN...

    Nothing Can Keep Us Apart, Safe In Each Other's Heart

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      #3
      All very normal for post visit blues .

      Except, at YOUR age it could be all sorts of things!
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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        #4
        How long have you been together? How often do you plan on being able to see each other?
        Last edited by NI_USA_love; April 21, 2014, 09:47 PM.

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          #5
          I'd like to say this gets better over time, but it doesn't. A visit usually takes some time to get over and feel normal again, but you get used to it, and you manage. Don't do anything impulsive, and try to keep your conversations pretty normal, try to talk about your day, or what you watched on TV last night, instead of how much you miss each other. The faster you get back into your routine, the easier it gets.
          Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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            #6
            Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
            All very normal for post visit blues .

            Except, at YOUR age it could be all sorts of things!
            LOL well, of course...if I was really 94

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              #7
              Originally posted by NI_USA_love View Post
              How long have you been together? How often do you plan on being able to see each other?
              We built a friendship first over the span of a few years. And now, we'll have been together officially for a few months. Sorry for all the vague details.. I wouldn't want him to stumble on any posts and go nuts thinking I'll leave him. I wouldn't.. I just feel VERY alone in how this is affecting us. He seems to be pretty content - this isn't his first LDR, which also somewhat adds to the worry. I'm reaaalllly uneasy with how simple this all is for him.

              We're not really at the liberty to see each other often, I'm sure like most here. And it's even worse because there are some road blocks, mostly on his end, that we really can't control. He would have to make some changes, but there is nothing I can do about it. I'm more able to make the trip than he, but it costs quite a bit of money and neither of us have a lot of it at our disposal.

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                #8
                Thank you for the support thus far.. I was, and kind of still am, having somewhat of a breakdown. My mind is numb for the moment. I'm really not sure how healthy this is of an arrangement. I'm sick to my stomach.. and I struggle with having to bare to do this every single time.

                So lost...

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                  #9
                  I am sure the fact that you can't easily plan visits adds to your frustration. I felt like you do after the first visit. Now that we can plan visits I am still sad to leave, but the desperation is there less. Are you sure he is unaffected by it? It could be he just shows feelings less or different than you do. It could be related to his first LDR or the roadblocks you mentioned. I am sure you are not having a breakdown. Numbness is just the body 's way of lessening the overwealmed feelings. Get tickets for the next trip, or at least an estimate for the next travel, and you may feel differently.
                  I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                  - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                  "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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                    #10
                    Swerve...

                    First of all, sending mega hugs your way.

                    I just got back last week from a visit with my SO, and have been struggling with the same thing. The thought of leaving never comes to mind, but it's just so hard. It feels like your're being turned inside out. Your eyes hurt from crying. You don't want to anything. All your brain can focus on is how much you miss him.

                    But keep your head up and remember that it gets a little easier every day. It's never EASY...just easier. Stay as busy as possible and look forward to the future. The hardest part for me is not having the next meeting planned. Even if it is months away, at least it's something to look foward to.

                    In the meantime, lean on us <3 We understand what you're going through.

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