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I feel unreasonabe, but I can't help being sad

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    #1

    I feel unreasonabe, but I can't help being sad

    Hi guys; I haven't logged on in a long while, hope everyone is doing well

    My SO and I typically skype at least an hour or two a day. That's a lot for many people on here; I recognize that. Lately, he's been wanting alone time. I know that's important for everyone, relationship or not. Today, we only skyped for 8 minutes; and suddenly I'm just a mess. Crying, stressed, missing him. I wish I wouldn't lose control over myself like this. I cried as I said bye to him on Skype, but I was able to hide it.

    Should I tell him I need at least 20 minutes of Skype conversation daily to keep me happy? Or should I cope with my emotions?
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    #2
    Tell him. 8 min is too short to have a real conversation.
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #3
      Hey Mellif
      Glad to see you are back
      I hope everything is otherwise okay.

      I don't see the harm about agreeing on a 20 min convo a day. But ofcourse if something fauce majeure happens it is a different story.

      Comment

        #4
        I understand you feel upset about an 8 minute skype chat.
        But this is the first time?
        I wouldn't bring it up yet. That might come across as a bit clingy.
        Mabe something happened, he was really tired, grumpy or he just didn't have a lot of time.

        You might feel bad now, but maybe tomorrow you will skype for 20 minutes again.
        I would wait with saying you need at least 20 minutes of skype until it looks like it's becoming a regular thing.
        Or you could just tell him you were sad that your last skype chat lasted that short.

        Comment

          #5
          8 minutes is a very short amount of time, as others have said. Unless he was very busy today, I don't really understand why he didn't want to speak with you for longer? Did you two discuss how long the ideal skyping time for both you two would be when he mentioned he wanted more alone time? If the same thing happens again tomorrow, I'd say mention it, and try to agree on how much time would be good for both of you. I personally don't think an hour or two a day is very long at all, but that's just me and my relationship, we aren't very busy people.
          started dating: 12/08/12
          "i love you": 04/12/13
          el paso: 07/24/13 - 08/05/13
          montreal: 12/13/13 - 01/03/14
          el paso: 01/05/14 - 01/19/14
          montreal: 05/30/14 - 07/27/14
          el paso: 07/27/14 - 08/18/14
          el paso: 12/27/14 - 01/16/15
          el paso: 06/02/15 - 08/17/15
          san antonio: 02/04/16 - 02/08/16
          san antonio/el paso: 06/03/16 - 06/21/16

          Comment

            #6
            I think, like the others said, you shouldn't worry too much unless this becomes a regular thing. He could have been having a really stressful busy week or day and maybe had let a lot of chores and things pile up.. and got overwhelmed and stressed as he tried to get back on top of things. Maybe you could ask him if he's been stressed about a lot lately. I agree that 8 minutes is not enough time. But sometimes it's necessary. I think it would be fine if you let him know how short it felt to you and how you would like at least 20 minutes so you can properly talk to each other and stay apart of each others lives. But don't worry unless it becomes regular every day thing.. and talk to him how he is feeling about it if it does.

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by mellif View Post
              Hi guys; I haven't logged on in a long while, hope everyone is doing well

              My SO and I typically skype at least an hour or two a day. That's a lot for many people on here; I recognize that. Lately, he's been wanting alone time. I know that's important for everyone, relationship or not. Today, we only skyped for 8 minutes; and suddenly I'm just a mess. Crying, stressed, missing him. I wish I wouldn't lose control over myself like this. I cried as I said bye to him on Skype, but I was able to hide it.

              Should I tell him I need at least 20 minutes of Skype conversation daily to keep me happy? Or should I cope with my emotions?
              That would definitely be a shock to your system to go from one or two hours a day, suddenly down to only 8 minutes! He's the one who is being unreasonable! Eight minutes is barely enough time to say Hello...I love you...goodbye! I think you should ask for at least 45 minutes! Or a minimum of 30 minutes. And try to find out why, all of a sudden, he can only give you 8 minutes.


              TWO HEARTS BEATING AS ONE, LOVE BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN...

              Nothing Can Keep Us Apart, Safe In Each Other's Heart

              Comment

                #8
                thanks everyone <33
                yesterday I kinda had a breakdown (from other stress) and we were able to skype longer; today he said he'd skype me but I think he fell asleep... Sigh. Oh well.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Originally posted by mellif View Post
                  thanks everyone <33
                  yesterday I kinda had a breakdown (from other stress) and we were able to skype longer; today he said he'd skype me but I think he fell asleep... Sigh. Oh well.
                  Mine does that all the time, says he will chat with me later, and then I wait up and he doesn't get back with me. And there are times he does fall asleep on chat. He does have his plate full with a 70-hour work week, family responsibilities, and time out with his mates. Sometimes I seem to be almost an after-thought.


                  TWO HEARTS BEATING AS ONE, LOVE BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN...

                  Nothing Can Keep Us Apart, Safe In Each Other's Heart

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Tel him you cant live without him and want to spend more time with him.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I say tell him. LDR especially need open, frank confessions. If he cares he will do what you ask ( if reasonable lol) and so go for it. You just might get exactly what you want and need AND find out he really cares.

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