venting...

[Karringtyn]

I spent the day with my 6 year old rummage saleing...and such...Good day...but frustrating...not too sure what the hell is wrong with me. I love my SO...so much. He is the one...no doubt about it...but the last couple of days when we talk I get so frustrated ...not bored...hmmm how do I put it...I overanalyze each and every word. We talk often...throughout the day...5 minutes here and there....and it works...but sometimes he says something and it rubs me the wrong way and I say something and I just can't let it go. UGHHH.

I hate the distance. I hate I cant just deal with this face to face.....

I hate knowing that it could be a couple of days..weeks..or months...till he gets that call...house is sold..and I will fly there...and he will drive the UHAUL and I will drive the blazer...it is sooo close..I can feel it.

Then I wonder...am I getting my hopes up for nothing? Will he never sell?

Or is it me? I tend to push away people....always.

[LadyMarchHare]

Sounds to me like you're wound up over him trying to sell the place and it not going as fast as you want it to, so the frustration's bleeding into other areas such as conversation. It's hard being patient and easy to be frustrated. It isn't that you're pushing him away, this is simply how you deal with the stress and yeah it's not a good way, but it could be much worse and at the very least you realize what's going on instead of staying ignorant to the problem that, in the end, would hurt you both worse.

Tell him that you're feeling this way, that you know he can't help when the house is sold but it's still getting to you because you want him there right now and he isn't. Tell him how you're dealing with it, i.e. that you're over-analyzing what he says, some things bother you, and that you feel frustrated partially from it too. See if maybe taking a break from talking or talking less throughout the day might help. But I think right now you could use a good cup of something, some relaxing music, and maybe a small nap or some TV.

[Caitlin2009]

your impatiance is kicking in, lol sounds alot like me. He's not selling cookies or anything he's selling his house which in this economy is not gonna be easy, and yeah he will sell it possibly in the next month maybe a little more then that, but its not easy to do i know its hard and god knows i need to take my own advice but just try and be patient

[noodle]

Be patient You'll make it and with him together anyway and Im pretty sure the day of you two bein together will soon be there! I mean you lived with the distance for 10 months already and waited for him all your life, so whats another 1-2 months?
Try to be positiv! <3

[Karringtyn]

thanks to each of you...I know I know...I gotta have patience...

[Silviar]

I've been following your posts and blog, and I think what you're really frustrated over is not having a set date until you're together. It's hard enough dealing with distance, family, a relationship big enough you want to move in with a new man and blend your families, but the fact that you can't give a set date that it'll happen by is frustrating. You can't control it, and until you have it, you're forced to live day by day.

If it's possible, maybe you two could talk about an end date where you can plan to end escape whether or not the house is sold? Or perhaps give yourself a few goals you want to try to hit before you move (like maybe you want to save a set amount of money, or get your kids through something, or make your own painting...)

The other thing that's very hard, I know it, but you've got to find a way to not focus on the future. Focusing is what's making it so hard. Shifting mindset to appreciating and enjoying the immediacy is hard, but if you can do it, it'll make things much better. It's something I've had to teach myself as well.

[Karringtyn]

you know you have hit it on the head my dear! IT is very frustrating..I Know I know I need to be thankful...it will eventually happen...but a lot has to happen for IT to happen...ughhhhhhh.

I like the idea of going away....and I like the idea of the goal setting...

Your last paragraph says it all. Thank you honey.

[Mio]

Hope you feel better soon!

[paulawriteslove]

Whenever you feel like that just, breathe! You're just stressed out with the selling of the house. Be patient, everything will fall into place

[loveonspeedial]

I understand what you're going through, on two different occaisions my So and I made plans for me to move along with her, then move to be closer and twice she was like yeah it'll be a great idea, etc and only for her to end up reconsidering, What happened both timees was that she realized that I was moving my entire life up and out to be with her and that made her very nervous and feel guilty. Just relax, talk to your SO, don't stress the issue.

[Karringtyn]

you all are wonderful. Stressing isn't helping

[paulawriteslove]

We're here whenever you need to vent! Better vent at us then your SO, lol

[Karringtyn]

LOL I vent to him all the time ...poor guy and he sticks around!! Thanks again...

[loveonspeedial]

Paula, I know that's right, whenever I vent about how my so is driving me crazy or whatever it starts a big fight, I've learn to just get on here and vent, which I totally love being able to do, saves my relationship for that moment!

[agentholli]

I've been following your posts and blog, and I think what you're really frustrated over is not having a set date until you're together. It's hard enough dealing with distance, family, a relationship big enough you want to move in with a new man and blend your families, but the fact that you can't give a set date that it'll happen by is frustrating. You can't control it, and until you have it, you're forced to live day by day.

I know excatly how this feels....and she hit it right on the head. It is soooo frustrating not having a date, cause I am in the same position.