SO's Grandpa...

[pytsip]

Just found out via facebook that my boyfriend's grandpa fell while walking the neighbor's dog and broke his spine. When they did the mri, it showed that he is brain dead... I don't know what to say, I feel bad since he's not here and I'm horrible with these kinds of things.

[loveonspeedial]

Well, JUST BE THERE. When I was having issues w/ my grandma and my so like didn't say anything, it made me feel SO MUCH WORSE. And she was like well, I don't know what to say..and I totally recommend saying something and just being there, sleeping on the phone with him, whatever he needs, send him a funny card, etc/

[pytsip]

i just sent him a message on skype saying that I saw his sister's wall post and that I was sorry and if he needed to talk that he knew where I was (he's away, but I figured I'd at least send him something letting him know that I'm here for him)

[annamorgan]

Wow, that's terrible Just be there for him during this time, that's the most you can do in this situation.

[loveonspeedial]

That's a perfect start. Everyone heals differently, when my so has family problems she gets distant, I'm the opposite I need the closeness of my SO. You'll figure it out.

[Tanja]

I'm sorry

Just let him know you'll be there if he needs you and wants to talk *hugs*

[pytsip]

he said "thank you. not really up to talking right now though." I kinda figured, I just wanted to let him know that I was here. He's one of those people that when he's in a bad mood he doesn't want to talk to anyone.

[Silviar]

You make sure your SO knows you're there for them. You tell him you love him, and send him those messages while giving him the space to not talk and just sit if he wants to. And I suggest telling him if he dies (I don't know if they'll continue life support or not) simply you're sorry for his loss, and you're there for him.

[noodle]

Im so sorry
I agree with everyone, just be there for him and maybe distract him, talk about other things that dont have to do anythin with his grandpa and such

[LadyMarchHare]

Oh goodness. Reminds me of the day my dad fell down a flight of stairs when I was 9 at a restaurant and no one helped because they thought he was drunk.

As said, the best you can do is offer a proverbial shoulder and even more so, proverbial hugs and lots of love. If they were close it's going to be very hard for him to cope and it's very hard comforting someone miles and miles away, but it's not impossible.

[MoonWatcher]

Wow, that is horribly sudden. I agree with everyone, each person grieves in their own way. Just a simple "I love you" does wonders. You laugh when he laughs, you also should weep when he weeps. He'll talk about it when he's ready, and when he does, you don't need to feel like you have to be a psychiatrist to make him feel better. Listening and paying attention can be all that's needed right now. I know I appreciated that when a good friend of mine was killed in a car accident.

[pytsip]

Thanks everyone, I know it's going to be really hard on him, he was close to his grandpa and the fact that he isn't going to be able to say goodbye I know is probably tearing him up. This definitely isn't something that anyone would have thought would have happened. The worst thing I thought was that his 16 year old dog wouldn't be around when he got home, never did I think that one of his family members wouldn't be, I know this puts a twist on everything his sister wasn't very sympathetic when she told him on facebook, partially because I feel like she's been somewhat upset with him for leaving to begin with, she was kinda making it seem like he should be there to say goodbye with the way she worded things and I know that's going to be even more difficult on him. I met his grandpa once, when we had Belvy's going away picnic, and his grandpa was the funniest, and most lively man I have ever met and the worst part is I know Belvy was really looking forward to seeing his grandpa and having his grandpa's cooking (he was a really great cook) when he came home.

I know the only thing i can do is be supportive, I just hope he is ok, I know that its really going to be difficult on him given the circumstances and also given that it seems as though some of his family members aren't so sympathetic to him about it.

[paulawriteslove]

I am so sorry *hugs* just be there for him.

[Karringtyn]

he said "thank you. not really up to talking right now though." I kinda figured, I just wanted to let him know that I was here. He's one of those people that when he's in a bad mood he doesn't want to talk to anyone.

Me too. He knows you are there...he just needs space in dealing. HUGS

[pytsip]

Bittersweet feeling that I have right now. He is coming home for a week or so, I'm excited to get to see him, but it's horrible that this is the reason why he's coming home...