Need advice

[MN2MD]

This is my first out of state LDR and having a hard time with it. I met him for the first time a few weeks ago and since then the distance has been really hard. I have never met someone like him before and I am longing to be with him all the time now. We talk on the phone during the week while he is at work and then the weekend comes and it goes to txting. We both have kids full time, so its understandable the weekends are spent with them. I do voice to him that I am having my hard days but he takes it as a weak point that I will no longer want this relationship with him, but that is far from it. I have actually found true love with him. He always says that I am his world and is deeply in love with me. I guess that I am worried he will find someone new. He reassures me it will never happen. This is why I am happy I found this site to help me with dealing with my feelings. He has stated that he will move here but when is another thing.

[RachelAnne]

Welcome to LFAD I know you'll find helpful advice here. Browse the forum and browse the site, I know you will find a lot of ways to cope with the distance, and even get ideas for fun things to do with your SO. It isn't easy, but you shouldn't worry about him finding somebody else. It will only stress you out for no reason.

[differentcountries]

Guys often tend to see voicing of concerns as a sign that something is very wrong. If you stress to him that what you want is to connect with him, he might better understand what you are trying to do. I am sure he wants to connect, too.

If your kids are young maybe you can Skype in the evenings when they have gone to bed? There are several people in here with kids and from what I can see they are very good planners. If you are thinking long term you might be able to have vacation time together, with or without the kids.

[temporaryuser]

I rarewly talk to my SO when he has his daughter. He doesnt get to see her much, so I try not to intrude on his time with her. Yes, it sucks, but I try to stay busy.
Do you only talk to each other while he is at work? Have you ever talked when he wasnt at work? If not, are you sure he is being honest with you? Not trying to insinuate that he isnt, and he may truly be busy with his kids.

[Heavenly_Love12]

Welcome to the forum! I don't think you're wrong in wanting to actually talk to him during the weekends. Is it not possible for him to have even a 15 minute phone conversation with you then? I know when I was growing up, there were always times when I'd be at a friend's house, playing outside, playing in my room, or even napping that provided my parents some time to themselves. It doesn't have to be anything fancy just a quick call so you know he's making an effort and is thinking of you. Texting is convenient at times but it can much faster to actually talk than text.

I know my SO tries to "fix" everything, any time I voice a concern, he takes it as a sign that he's doing things wrong or that he needs to try and fix whatever the concern is; maybe your SO is that way too. Just explain to him how you're feeling and then go from there. Bringing it up more than once will also emphasize how much this bothers you.