He let me go for my own sake

[Carol]

My SO broke up with me, and the more I think about everything, the more I am sure he left me for my own sake. I cannot tell for sure, but I am convinced my premonition is correct. Nothing was right. Timing, the way he did it, the decision itself. Maybe he thought he was not making me happy, or that he kept me from doing things, as well as that he did not deserve me. I wish he talked about his decision and thoughts first, because his gesture was maybe meant to be good for me, but I don't appreciate it. Not only that I lost a great boyfriend, who knew how to support me and make me smile, but I also lost one of my closest friends. You know, we really matched, and I am missing him very much. He was not perfect, and sometimes, it was not easy, but I always accepted who he was, and I cannot imagine anyone better for me. I can see that it was not an easy decision from him, and so I can't hate him, but I blame him for making, in my eyes, a wrong decision. Nobody knows me better than I do, and I know his gesture will not make me happier.

You know, if you really see a future with someone, and feel like it was "the" guy, it hurts to see that he is no longer a part of your life. He was different, he was worth fighting. He was what I was dreaming about. I am not able to accept the truth that we will never talk again. I know, it is said you will move on with time, but there are also people who regret the rest of their lives losing someone, and I probably cannot see things clearly, but I feel like this will be on my mind forever. I wish he missed me and came back, and gave us the chance we deserve. His leaving took a part of my personality, too, and I am panicing, because it is not getting better. I wish I was not the only one who thought we were great for each other, and that we could find a way to each other again, but I don't know. I am hoping he would see what I see, but I may be just naive, and there may be "the" girl for him. And I will probably always blame myself for not doing more to keep him. I wish to have him in my life so badly!

I believe in destiny, and I believe we were meant to meet each other, I just don't understand why I had to end up being so devastated, if we were doing great. I don't understand why he did not talk about it with me before making a decision, I don't understand what gave him the right to decide for me. I only hope that if he never comes back, and find happiness with someone better, I will not be affected the rest of my life. And right now, I am not able to accept that he was not worth it, and that I deserve better.

At the end, I would like to say that you should think twice before deciding to let someone go for their sake, because you may not do them a favor, but really devastate them instead. Please, think twice and make sure you are doing the right thing.

I needed to get it off my chest, because I know there is really not much to say back, and I thank you for reading.

[silvermoonfairy3]

I'm really sorry to hear of your breakup.
I know how tough this is, and it's hard to see that it will ever get better. But, it will.

My SO broke up with me, and the more I think about everything, the more I am sure he left me for my own sake.

Why do you think that?

Nobody knows me better than I do, and I know his gesture will not make me happier.

It might not right now, but it's entirely possible that in the long run, with some distance, you'll feel differently. I haven't had a single relationship that, looking back, was as perfect as I thought. Even the ones that ended on good terms, even the exes I'm still friendly with. With some distance from it, it was for the best, and has led me to the relationship I'm in now, which in so many ways is more than I ever hoped or dreamed.

You know, if you really see a future with someone, and feel like it was "the" guy, it hurts to see that he is no longer a part of your life.

Of course it does. You're allowed to feel that way, you're allowed to be upset and miserable and cry and mope for a little bit.

I know, it is said you will move on with time, but there are also people who regret the rest of their lives losing someone, and I probably cannot see things clearly, but I feel like this will be on my mind forever.

That will only happen if you let it. People who don't have those long regrets learn from the situation and don't let it define them. They believe that they're a kickass person, and they know that they'll find happiness with another great partner.

I wish he missed me and came back, and gave us the chance we deserve.

I know it's hard, but he might honestly feel it had the chance and wasn't working for him. You're assuming he broke up with you solely for you, but I'm willing to bet it was also for him.

His leaving took a part of my personality, too, and I am panicing, because it is not getting better.

How long ago was the breakup?

I believe in destiny, and I believe we were meant to meet each other, I just don't understand why I had to end up being so devastated, if we were doing great.

The thing with destiny is, it might not be done working yet. Maybe this is one of the obstacles in it that's leading you to the 'right' person.

I don't understand what gave him the right to decide for me.

Hon, he was also in the relationship. He was also deciding for himself. He has the right to choose to be in a relationship with you, and he has the right to choose not to be.

I know it hurts, but whatever his reasoning is, he doesn't want to be with you. And I think that everyone deserves to be with someone who wants to be with them just as much. It sucks right now, but it will get better. Hang in there.

[Carol]

It hasn't been long since the break up, less than two weeks... However, we were planning to see each other, and as it is coming to the point we could have seen each other, it is becoming harder.

I am assuming, because he broke up with me via phone messages, and the things he was saying, and the things he said during the last call imply that he doubted I was happy. I know I may be wrong, though. And we have been together for 9 months, he was laughing during the last call...A week before, he told me he never wanted to lose me... I am just disappointed and confused, especially when we were so close to getting to the point we wanted to since we met.

And I know I am emotional right now, and act exactly like everyone after a break up, and I don't think rationally. I am just sooooo damn sorry for this end that came without any warning, and I believed I was making him happy.

[differentcountries]

It may be sweet to think he did it to spare you (what I am not sure), but usually people break up because they, themselves, no longer want to be in the relationship. He did not consult you because he knew you would do everything to talk him out of it, and perhaps also that you were likey to give him motives he don't have. Most likely, he does not care as much as you do, or he cares for you but he does not see a future for the two of you because of the way the relationship has developed so far.

It is always sad to let someone go, and it may feel wrong and unnatural and too soon. You don't have to be so nice and give him all sorts of sweet motives, it is ok to be sad and angry about the fact that he left you when you thought you were safe. You wanted him. Now he is gone. It is ok to revolt against his decition. To find it meaningless and how will you ever love another and so on. It is good to grieve what was and no longer will be.

[ldrxoxo]

I know what you mean when you say the thought of never talking to someone again is scary. I even said that to my long distance interest, except he wouldn't even allow us to have a relationship to start with. We were in the process of getting into one but he would never make it official since we can't see each other any time soon anyway.

If he never talks to me, and I never talk to him again, we'll just never talk and I said how scared I was of that he will just be another one that's forgotten in time.
He told me he never said he never wanted to talk again, but later on we would. I don't know. Usually whenever a guy drops off and I ignore him the same, no one ever comes back, so we'll see.

I hope you get to talk to him again did you tell him that he was making you happy when he sent those messages to you?

[Carol]

I did tell him, several times... However, I cannot tell if he ever read the messages I sent him, because he did not reply to any of them.

[TwoThree]

If he never talks to me, and I never talk to him again, we'll just never talk

You might wanna rephrase that.