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Keeping physical attraction alive?

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    #1

    Keeping physical attraction alive?

    Hello guys.

    Has anyone experienced a sudden decrease of physical attraction or even attractiom for your LDR love after you've found some disrespectful ways or read something that your LDR said to the opposite sex that you found to be disrespectful? Like flirting, asking unnecessary sexual questions, etc? Unfortunately with my LDR man this has been reoccurrences. Even when I went to go see him, I found some more things out dealing with him and other women that caused our last few days together to be hell despite us having such a surreal time the first days we were together.. So I'm wondering is it because I've lost trust in my LDR man that I don't see him as appealing and I'm nitpicking now? He's not ugly. No one is truly ugly to me, just average looking.. but when I first started speaking to him and getting to know him (last September) he became the most appealing person to me, and even when I visited he was just sooo handsome to me and he gave me constant butterflies.. But now when he sends me pictures the sparks aren't really there anymore and it's messing with me because I genuinely love him, that's why I decided to give him another chance and we are currently working on getting my full trust back into him.

    So again, I am wondering if this is because the hurtful things that have happened, plus the distance? Is there a correlation?
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    #2
    What did he do exactly? Flirt and chat to other women? Suggest sex to other women?
    If so I can definately understand why you are feeling the way you are feeling.

    How long have you been together? You said it has been reoccurring?
    If I get you right, I am wondering why would you want to fix this?
    He's been disrespectful to you (and others) and doesn't sound like he deserves your trust or love.

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      #3
      I had this happening in a CD relationship and what happend was I simply fell out of respect for him and out of love. Rightly so, I think. To respect your love is very important.
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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        #4
        Flirting, asking women sexual questions and digging into their sexual lives and sharing his sexual needs and whatever aswell.. He accepted a picture of this girl in nothing but her shirt.. And yes. Reoccurring. I asked him to stop numerous times before threatening to leave him.. I asked him how would he feel if I did that to him and he claimed he would feel like shit. When I threatened to leave him that's when he started to get better. But still.
        And we have been together 6 months..


        I see potential in him that's why I wanted to give him another chance, but in doing that my physical attraction is decreasing and I think that's coming from the hurt and how I view him.. Which is in an almost negative light. :-/

        But giving him a chance to prove that he can be trustworthy and etc.. I am hoping my attraction to him will get to the point where it was before all he hurtful things came into existence.

        I'm just wondering if me viewing him in a negative light has an affect on how I view him physically?

        Comment

          #5
          I think that is what's happening.. And I hate that it's getting to this point.
          Unfortunately I try to see the good in everyone and give numerous chances before calling it off.

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            #6
            Men don't change. Not when they are stuck in their ways. Not if they don't really want to. Do you really see him for who he is or for who you want him to become? Too many women want to fix guys seeing how great they can be but it doesn't work that way. If he keeps doing these things after asking and only changing when you threaten to leave then it isn't going to change. Your relationship is young. If it were me I would end it. The way he is disrespecting you and your relationship is absolutely affecting how you feel all around.

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              #7
              I completely agree..

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                #8
                I only said all that because I used to really struggle with that issue. I finally learned that you can ask things to change, but other times you just have to accept things as is or walk away. My current SO has worked on things for me and I for him. Some things however won't be changing. My SO will always be a workaholic that doesn't like talking on the phone and can't physically stay up late. I love him even with and even for these things. Trying to change them wouldn't work, and for many these would be deal breakers. For me they are things I can accept. Hopefully you can figure out where he lies.

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                  #9
                  I can see why you think you are falling out of physical attraction with him, and I completely understand..he's disrespectful to you and his behavior is inappropriate. You deserve to be with someone who loves you and treats you with respect. I'm sorry this is happening Figure out what you actually want and what's best for you. Good luck

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