Small update + visiting while SO is working?

[kittyo9]

Previously I had mentioned to some of you that my SO was applying to grad school in the US, both to further his education and to be closer to me. We have still not heard back from his last two grad schools, so we are assuming they are rejects and not acceptances. This means we will not be closing the distance this year.

We are in the process of planning our next visit in August. My work contract should end on July 31st, leaving me with no work obligations and a substantial amount of savings on which to support myself. My SO is taking his vacation days from ~July 25th (give or take a few days) to August 15th. This means that I'd get about 2 weeks of his vacation time before he has to go back to work. Work for him means leaving at ~7:15 am and returning at about 5:30 pm, sometimes later depending on what's going on at work and how the traffic is.

I would really like to stay for 3+ weeks (he wants 2 months), but this also means that he will be working for a good portion of the days I'm there. This wouldn't really be an issue if I weren't going to be just sitting around doing nothing while he's at work. I'd like to be doing something productive with my time. What have you guys done if you've visited your SO while they were working? Ideally, I'd like to be able to have some sort of income, but I understand that that isn't always possible.

[dglynn77]

Just some ideas of things you could do while he is working: take some online classes, either for credit or not; learn to cook traditional foods in your SO's hometown; get a lot of reading done; work on writing for your degree; apply to more schools for him online; work on DIY crafts and stuff; get out and see the local area if it is safe to go alone. Good luck!

[temporaryuser]

what kind of area does he live in? Could you tutor english? Research the area and find things that intererst you that you could visit while he is at work. Keep the house clean/laundry done, things that he may not normally have time for. Cook special dinners and go grocery shopping together.
what kind of schooling/degree is he applying for? My SO is going to continue on to get his post masters as a nurse practitioner. He gave me the responsibility of researching and applying to schools. Its a lot of work - the researching part, but the end result will be worth it. Would he trust you to do that? Does what he is looking at only admit for the fall?

[kittyo9]

Thank you both for your replies!

Just some ideas of things you could do while he is working: take some online classes, either for credit or not; learn to cook traditional foods in your SO's hometown; get a lot of reading done; work on writing for your degree; apply to more schools for him online; work on DIY crafts and stuff; get out and see the local area if it is safe to go alone. Good luck!

I have thought about taking online classes, although I am already done with my degree so they would be mostly for-fun. It depends on what is being offered during that time. I can definitely learn to cook some foods from my SO's mother, who will be there some of the time (she lives there, but she's very social and goes out and hangs out with her friends a lot). I do wish it were safe for me to go out alone (I like exploring), but I have talked to him about this and he is very hesitant to let me travel around Lima by myself-- I'm very obviously not Peruvian and the chances of me getting robbed or scammed are pretty high. As for schools, he is not eager to apply to grad school again right now... we have had some contention over this issue, as I think it's worth it to apply again next year while he would rather take more time off to work and maybe learn German so he can go to school in Germany instead.

what kind of area does he live in? Could you tutor english? Research the area and find things that intererst you that you could visit while he is at work. Keep the house clean/laundry done, things that he may not normally have time for. Cook special dinners and go grocery shopping together.
what kind of schooling/degree is he applying for? My SO is going to continue on to get his post masters as a nurse practitioner. He gave me the responsibility of researching and applying to schools. Its a lot of work - the researching part, but the end result will be worth it. Would he trust you to do that? Does what he is looking at only admit for the fall?

I have looked into tutoring English a little and right now my SO is planning to ask his mom and her friends if they know anyone who needs an English tutor/helper! I'm hoping that somebody needs help with something, haha. I will probably end up helping his mom with some housework, but otherwise their house is very small and his mom does the majority of the cooking and cleaning.

He is applying for a PhD in Computer Science (Artificial Intelligence/Algorithms). I think I did most of the researching for him already, haha, but yeah, most of the places will only consider you for financial aid the first year if you apply in the fall. He can't go to school without it.

[snow]

What I was doing while I was in america for a couple months was to read a lot, experiment with food, cook dinner for him every day so he had something to eat when he came home (then again I like being a little housewife who cleans and cooks :P), do some DIY projects and useless stuff like watch TV, play video games and such.
I think dglynn gave a couple good examples of what you can do!

[CanadianGirl]

Apart from taking a few vacation days, my SO almost always works when I'm visiting (leaves 6:30 am, gets back around 3:30). I usually get some chores done, read, sketch, entertain/confuse his rats, cook/bake or plan out something fun to do when he gets back. Working out at home also is a good way to kill time. I think if you get some tutoring work lined up and throw in an online course or two for fun, and also pass some time helping out around the house, he'll be home before you know it.

[Dziubka]

We had a few visits where my SO had classes and was either gone or studying most of the day. (I think I even made a thread about it yeaaaars ago).

Could you find a place you could volunteer at? I know making money would be nicer, but it's better than doing nothing (and something that could look good on your CV, if you need that).
Is there a couch surfing or expat group thing in Lima? You don't have to look for new best friends, but you will want to be talking to someone other than your SO and his family once in a while.

[Schlafmütze]

I was was going to suggest taking classes and volunteering, but well, the girls were faster than me. How about taking spanish classes? My SO and I closed the distance for 6 months and since I was not allowed to work, I took german classes. They kept me occupied most of the time, I made new friends, got to know the city a little bit more and learned my SO's language which was the main goal. -Ok ok, I still make some grammar mistakes, but it's fine-

Is there a kindergarten near by? You could volunteer there, teaching some easy english to the kids. Some teachers are open to this idea, depending on how strict the school is though. Tutoring sounds good too, I'm sure you will find something!

[Alle1770]

I spent 6 months in Argentina while my SO worked for most of the time - I thought I would be bored to death but strangely enough, you find things to do! I took 3 online classes parallel with each other (go check out www.coursera.com for instance!), as well as practicing my Spanish using a site/app called Duolingo. I took walks around town to check it out, read a whole lot which is something I haven't had time to do before, as well as doing some chores like the laundry, cleaning up, sweeping the floors, you name it. Like the others have suggested, try maybe developing some new hobbies or get better at some you already have!

3 weeks - 2 months pass fast, I'm sure you won't have any trouble keeping busy Volounteering somewhere sounds great as well, you should definitely look into that

[RachelAnne]

My SO is coming to visit me this summer and I think i'll have to be working for at least a few days while he is here..I'm worried about what there is for him to do to keep himself busy..but I like what the others have suggested, take some online classes and do some exploring Focus on doing fun things for yourself that you've always wanted to do, but haven't gotten around to.

[differentcountries]

I will go soon to stay with him for a week, while he is working 10 hours a day, every day. This is how it will be all the time I am with him, for 1 week a month/some more weeksduring the holiday. My days will go something like this:
- Get up with him in the morning, maybe share breakfast together
- Do yoga by myself
- Read and write on my doctoral thesis
- Hang at his work
- Swim/sunbathe
- Ride on bycicle (I will rent one and in time buy one I will keep there)
- Hike in the mountains or go for long walks around town
- Write in my journal
- Go looking in odd shops for gifts or food stuff to bring to Norway
- When we get a flat with kitchen: Do grocery shopping
- When I buy/bring a computer: study Turkish language on Babbel.com (or do it through my smart phone)
- Eat/cook together in the evening
- When I stay for longer than a week: take a proper Turkish class
+ volenteer as a yoga teacher (I have taken teacher classes and I have tought before)
- If/when I get to know people there, hang out with them, as well as his friends and so on

[dizzyupthemeg]

I don't have anything to add. All the above suggestions are things I usually do on a visit. We've never had a visit where one of us didn't have to work. I use that time to take classes on coursera that I never would otherwise. I also have the advantage of being able to explore Edmonton though. The time always flies by for me.

What I did want to say is that I'm super happy that you finally get to see your SO again! You more than deserve all the time you'll get to spend there!

[silvermoonfairy3]

What do you do here in the US/what do you want to do, career-wise?
Are there things you could focus on that might be eventual career-boosters even if they don't necessarily make you money while you're in Peru? Maybe doing research articles and trying to get things published in journals for your field?

Or for money-making stuff, freelance writing of some kind, like for on-demand content websites?

[80anthea]

No suggestions to add, but I just wanted to say how pleased I am for you that you're getting this visit I know you've been waiting for a while.

[kittyo9]

Thank you so so so much everyone for all the wonderful comments you've left for me. I really appreciate it and I'll be talking to my SO about quite a few of them!

What do you do here in the US/what do you want to do, career-wise?
Are there things you could focus on that might be eventual career-boosters even if they don't necessarily make you money while you're in Peru? Maybe doing research articles and trying to get things published in journals for your field?

Or for money-making stuff, freelance writing of some kind, like for on-demand content websites?

I'm a chemist and math tutor here in the states (both things I can't exactly do in Peru without speaking Spanish :P). I don't think I can get any research articles published since I'm not currently working on any research. Writing is a possibility that I have looked into, but haven't decided on conclusively.

What I did want to say is that I'm super happy that you finally get to see your SO again! You more than deserve all the time you'll get to spend there!

No suggestions to add, but I just wanted to say how pleased I am for you that you're getting this visit I know you've been waiting for a while.

Thank you both <3333333 He and I are totally elated to finally be planning a visit.