was it ok to call him out for this ?

[Malaga]

I have to disagree. If it was a cool, calm, collected conversation, I'd say you did the best thing. Something hurt you, and you guys talked about it, and you feel better now, yes? If it resolved something that was hurting you, and strengthened your relationship, it was the best move. I don't agree with "picking your battles." I think that if something hurts you, it's worth talking about. Communication is the most important thing to have.

Your SO is not your therapist. Some issues are your own and the majority of work needs to come from you personally. By all means turn to your SO for support but that doesn't mean calling them out over every innocent thing that happens to trigger your insecurity. It's exhausting and petty, and him not using emoticons anymore won't solve the problem of why she feels threatened and possessive. You need to start putting things into context instead of questioning everything and making an issue out of it. Surprisingly enough, that's also considered quality communication.

My SO also has an online girl friend whom he talks to occasionally. They share quite a few private jokes as they've known each other for ages. We're part of the same social circle so their conversation appears on my timeline and I used to feel jealous and hurt seeing it, especially as it's also how we met and flirted. But when I put on my big girl pants and looked at it objectively, I realised it's not at all comparable and not at all how I interpreted it. It is in fact easier to get over it and be done than to be a vigilant policeman writing tickets for every little thing that ticks you off. You just need to get to the root of the problem first.

[Moon]

I don't think the real issue here is if you were right in saying something to him about a wink smiley. Why did this bother you so much at all? Your SO is going to come across women on a daily basis both in real life and online, he's going to chat to women online if he uses social media, he might even slightly flirt with them. Why should it bother you? It's you he's chosen to be with and is marrying, winking at a girl doesn't change his feelings towards you! I think you need to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem a little.

People use after all sorts of things I say to people of all sexes, all ages. It doesn't mean they're going to jump into bed with everyone they do...I'd have bedded Moon on numerous occasions by now; nothing against Moon, she's just not my type

WTF 80, I'm everybody's type

[TwoThree]

nothing against Moon, she's just not my type

You have terrible taste, then

[lyonsgirl]

Yeah, I'd say you need to pick your battles. And arguing over emoticon usage just doesn't seem worthy enough to make the list.

Mountain, mole hill... yaddah yaddah. I concur, LB. This is not a battle worth fighting IMO.

[silvermoonfairy3]

It seems like a fairly small thing to get upset about enough to warrant a discussion, BUT I'm also curious as to how often small things like this come up for you/get brought up to your SO.

If it's fairly rare, I don't see anything wrong with bringing it up. If it's fairly common, then I think it's something that maybe you need to work on a little more, as people said in terms of self-esteem, etc.

[kittyo9]

I think I'd have done the same. My SO and I are very honest with each other when something is bothering us and this would be no exception. It's certainly not something to argue about, but letting the other person know that what they did made you uncomfortable is, in my view, part of being in a growing relationship.

[80anthea]

WTF 80, I'm everybody's type

Next time I'm in Philadelphia.......

[itsjen516]

It seems like a fairly small thing to get upset about enough to warrant a discussion, BUT I'm also curious as to how often small things like this come up for you/get brought up to your SO.

If it's fairly rare, I don't see anything wrong with bringing it up. If it's fairly common, then I think it's something that maybe you need to work on a little more, as people said in terms of self-esteem, etc.

Actually never to be honest I actually been really lucky with that. Sure little things bug us here and there but never anythjng to hurt us.So that is why I was a bit taken back by it

[snow]

I have to disagree. If it was a cool, calm, collected conversation, I'd say you did the best thing. Something hurt you, and you guys talked about it, and you feel better now, yes? If it resolved something that was hurting you, and strengthened your relationship, it was the best move. I don't agree with "picking your battles." I think that if something hurts you, it's worth talking about. Communication is the most important thing to have.

I used to do that too, but now we have the "towel on the floor / towel on the telescope" thinking, meaning: If the towel is lying on the floor and it really bothers me, then I can pick it up, it is nothing to make a big fuss about, because it is not hurting anyone, it is MY problem for having a problem with it. But if the towel is lying on the telescope, an expensive equipment that he had to pay for himself and takes great care of, it is me hurting him through it, disrespecting his feelings towards it and then we have to talk about it / he should bring it up as I am clearly hurting him.
You can apply this to any situation. So if I saw him talking to a girl online and sending a lot of winky-faces I would probably be bothered by it, but like malaga said, I have to put on my big-girl pants and look at it objectively - is he doing this to hurt me? Probably not, then there is nothing to talk about and I have to get over it. If he on the other hand would only talk to her and would stop talking to me / ignoring me to talk to her, I would have a problem with it, because now it is interfering with the time we two spend together.