Do You Believe In The Saying "Meant To Be"?

[80anthea]

Nope I don't believe in it. I am lucky to have met my SO and that things are working out but that's a combination of luck and a lot of hard work. As far as I know there could be a thousand other people in the UK who I could be quite happy with but I don't want to look for them or put any effort into finding them as I'm very happy with who I am now.

[nottheprincesspeach]

I believe in fate, destiny and "meant to be". I think everything that happened in our lives lead to being in the relationship I am currently in with my fiancé. If things were different, if only a couple things didn't happen the way they happened, we would not be together now.

If he had stayed with his last girlfriend, he would have gotten married long ago.
If I never got interested in video games in the first place while being with my ex, I would never have met him through video games and since he's american and is not really interested in many other things I like, we would not have met.
If his friends didn't give him a Steam account with games on it, he would not have started playing online (he's not very computer savvy).
If I was happy in my last relationship I would not have stayed up late playing with american players.
If he had not joined the same server I played on in February 2 years ago, we would not have met - there is so many different servers, he would have started to like another one.
etc. etc.

There is just so many things that seem like fate that it is hard, for me, to dispute it.

I see your point here, but I've never believed in meant to be. There was always a million little reasons why each of my past and current relationships happened. That didn't mean it was meant to happen. I believe more in the fact that you guys made it happen, stuck together, and work through stuff on a regular basis. I could make a list like this, but what really happened is I met a great guy and we are fighting for it. I also don't believe in the one, which might just me being a bit cynical.

[silvermoonfairy3]

My favorite cynic on this.. Comedic musician Tim Minchin:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gaid72fqzNE

[nottheprincesspeach]

My favorite cynic on this.. Comedic musician Tim Minchin:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gaid72fqzNE

God, I love him. I didn't even click on that, and yet I am quite positive which of his bits it is. "If I didn't have you"

[Emerald]

I understand where you are coming from here. In our relationship, I was into this guy that I knew where I lived, and this tore up the long distance guy that I had. (BTW I wasn't cheating. we love each other, but we don't want to be official right now.) I mean for DAYS he seemed so sad even when I tried to cheer him up, I could just tell that he was upset even though he tried to play it off like he was supportive. And then one day he said he had a long talk with his dad who INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH had experience with this situation. My guys parents met over seas as foreign exchange students and when they returned to the states they were hundreds of miles apart, and his mom wasn't really into long distance relationships, and his dad actually had a girlfriend at the time, but then they just realized who they wanted and they are still married. ANYWAY my guy told me "If you love something, set it free and if it comes back then its meant to be" and he just decided to let me have my space to experience another guy, and I ended up ending the relationship with the guy in my town because honestly if made me frustrated when he wasn't as good as my long distance guy. So I guess he was right, and I came back and I seriously have stronger feelings for him now because of that.

[Alsfia]

I don't believe in it really. It's a nice idea and sometimes I might wish I could believe in destiny, faith or even a higher power, but in the end the only thing I put my trust in when it comes to my life and my decisions is that I made it this far (alone or with support by family and friends), I can make it further. My SO is the same, we actually discussed this kind of topic a couple days ago

[Heavenly_Love12]

I believe in it to an extent. Like someone else said, I believe in God and believe that everything that happens is God's plan so in a way, things are "meant to be" because that's the way God planned them. I do believe that there is someone out there for everyone but that some people do not meet that person or meet them at a bad time in their life.

For my SO and myself, we went to the same high school and had mutual friends but we were not friends. We began talking my freshman year of college and dated for a year. We broke up after a year and didn't have any contact for about two years. We started talking again, began dating long distance, and got engaged this past March. There are tons of ways we never could have met, started talking, dated, etc. but it was all part of a Higher plan in my opinion.

[silvermoonfairy3]

God, I love him. I didn't even click on that, and yet I am quite positive which of his bits it is. "If I didn't have you"

Sure is!
Have you seen his comedy bit about that song, after some people told him they felt bad for his wife/that the song was sexist? It was all about dark humor and his wife's sense of humor. Really funny stuff.

[nottheprincesspeach]

Sure is!
Have you seen his comedy bit about that song, after some people told him they felt bad for his wife/that the song was sexist? It was all about dark humor and his wife's sense of humor. Really funny stuff.

"You can't say that! She might like vagina!" I've watched all of his stuff. I'm jealous of all those in his touring locations.

[Dziubka]

Honestly I use the term "meant to be" on here a lot when I think a couple should break up but don't want to outright say it.

I use "not meant to be" a lot more than "meant to be"

If something doesn't work out, I usually tell myself (and others) that it obviously wasn't mean to be and something better will come up, that wouldn't have come up if it had worked out.

If it works out on the other hand, it's because I (or someone else) worked hard and deserves it, not because of fate. I mean, I sometimes think small things were fate. I found the perfect wedding dress in exactly my size on [the Polish ebay]. I didn't do anything for it apart from typing "short wedding dress" in their search.

I don't believe that my SO and I were meant to be. We went to the same concert one night, exchanged numbers, went on a few dates and decided we liked each other enough to see each other more often and then we did everything we could to make that happen.

[Sarah96]

My story is somewhat similar.. at least the part about posting a question on a website for help and he responded to it then sent me a private message to clarify what he meant. We also took it offline basically immediately and went right into texting and calling. We since have closed our accounts on the site. But anyway, yes I do believe that people eventually find the person they are meant to be with. Not everyone will find them right away and it could take a few tries. But I truly believe in fate and that things happen for a reason. So the person you end up with is the person that you were meant to be with. I believe in that red string of fate thing, mainly because I think it is so sweet and adorable and I secretly love happy endings and stuff.

[NerdyChick]

I don't believe in the idea just because I feel like it's a slippy-slop kind of mentality. I believe relationships take commitment, hard work, and an equal desire by two people to truly want to make it work. I can't tell you how many people I know who use the "it wasn't meant to be" reasoning to explain past failed relationships, but never actual sit down and realize why it keeps happening or where things went wrong, and than they make the same choice again. Like for instance continuously choosing immature partners or people who they don't share the same life mentalities, life directions, or even basic moral understandings with. It's so easy to just say things either do happen or don't happen and it's just fate. But honestly, I feel that takes most of the responsibility off the parties involved. Falling in love is not a choice, staying in love and committing to some degree definitely is. Life isn't easy or simple, and while it's comforting to step out of the driver's side of life and just say "if it's meant to be, it will be" there's a flip side to that coin that you can't become complacent, or actively sabotage things and then turn around and place the blame on fate. So while I believe a lot scenarios had to play out in my life to make me the person my SO loves and to introduce us, at the end of the day I am just grateful that he found me. And while there may be others out there I could be happy with, it doesn't matter anymore. I've already got everything I could want or need in another human being or a life partner with my SO. So yeah, I may not know what the future holds, but I would like to believe that it is up to my SO and I and how much we put in, and how dedicated we remain to one another, that will ultimately lead to the outcome. I prefer free will to fate.