Feeling confused.

[Keisha]

When I broke up with my ld bf about a month ago, I didn't feel that I needed to heal from the relationship. The reason being it felt like weight was lifted off my shoulders instead of feeling broken. Soon after that, a cd ex wanted to get back with me and I accepted. He's a great guy.

The problem is it seems like I didn't really move on. I guess reality has just set in and im thinking about my ld ex. I keep thinking about how we had a great connection at the beginning. And its hard to believe his feelings were never real. I think my feelings for him might be stronger than my feelings for my now cd bf (romantically). I've known my cd bf all my life. We're really good friends and we talk about everything. Why am I thinking about my ex so much? Is this normal? Has anyone been in a situation like this?

[ittybittypilot]

This is normal, and I'm going thru this loss as well. My new boyfriend is a better man, we are closer....but I am still feeling a loss from my last relationship. You will heal in time. Just keep praying, smiling, and putting one foot in front of the other. It's ok and normal to feel this way. Time heals all wounds. trust me. I'm 42, twice divorced, and been thru some sad breakups. You just need time.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

It sounds like you rebounded with your CD ex, before you were over your LD ex. That can definitely cause confusion. Maybe you should slow down, take a deep breath, and allow yourself to feel all the emotions you are feeling about your LD ex, and then decide what you want to do. It sounds like you jumped into this new relationship, with an old friend, to distract yourself from the hurt, anger, etc. that you need to heal. Until you are healed, it will be hard for you to really be there for your new relationship. You need closure within yourself, before you can be there for someone else.

[temporaryuser]

yes a combination of a rebound and not giving yourself time to heal. Healing doesnt have to be a sad time but rather a time to reflect on what was and improve on things before jumping into another relationship. You are going to rememebr the good times over the bad and compare the two guys and your feelings for both. You need to take some time for YOU. Get to know yourself better. Stay friends with yourcd friend, but do things for yourself for a time.

[Keisha]

Thanks guys! I haven't had any contacted him since the break up. What's the best way to get complete closure? Should I attempt to try to be just friends? Or just no contact?

[Unconditional]

As hard as it is, no contact with your ex is probably the best way to get over him...

[RachelAnne]

As hard as this is, I think the best way to get complete closure from someone is to just completely cut off contact. I know that's what most people tend NOT to do, and it makes moving on a lot harder. I have a good friend who could never really get over her ex, because they never cut contact..and she would just keep getting frustrated when she saw him with another girl. She finally decided to stop talking to him completely, and she's finally starting to move on. Take some time for yourself for a while, without worrying about starting another relationship until you heal completely from your previous one. Good luck (:

[silvermoonfairy3]

As hard as it is, no contact with your ex is probably the best way to get over him...

Agreed.

I honestly do think exes can be friends if they both want to be, but not right away and not until they've had that time with no contact to fully move on.

[Keisha]

Thanks everyone.