Hey guys. I just want to get straight to to point: I am having some trust issue with my SO.
I came back to her after 8 months apart. About a month before my flight we had a really busy time with our studies so we felt somehow apart and a lack of communication. The day I was home, I was waiting for her to come and visit me so I play around her facebook a bit (we share passwords). but then I came across a message from her to another guy saying "i miss you". I know it was wrong to read it but at that point I couldn't control myself and I still regret it. What I realised from the chat log was they had a date on the day I was on the plane, she told me about it. But what hurts me is they did some intimate stuff together like holding hands and kissing on cheeks and idk what else. When my SO came I had a talk with her about that. She said she felt the distance between us but didn't know what to do about it so she be came vulnerable. She said that 'fling' just started on that day. Because of the distance, she didn't feel too comfortable seeing me. I really want to trust her but what she did really damage my trust somehow. After that she has to do more work so our communication became even harder. She doesn't want to skype with me as much and said she's to busy to skype wth me while just a few months ago no matter how busy she was we still go on skype just to see each other without any disturbing. It's really hard to text her or send her a message and get a reply from her. Sometimes I saw her online on facebook or whatsapp and saw my messages but still no reply. Even though sometimes I'm really tempted to check her messages again but I can't. It's just wrong and doesn't help but only make me more miserable and pathetic. My trust issues here, I don't think it's too big but it's really hard to get rid of with such low level of communication. By communication, I mean just showing some love for each other, like a short message saying 'I love you' or 'Have a nice day' just to make each other feel better since I understand she's busy right now so I don't want to ask for much. I tried to pick her up at work so we can have some physical contact after all those months but I don't feel she treasures it as much as she did last year. I want to confront her with my trust issues. All I need from her is being true to me and improve our communication. As I said, this trust issue is not that big but it's hard to get rid of and I don't want it to get bigger and turn me an insecure and controlling guy. But I really don't know how to start about it without her seeing me as being too demanding and not understanding her. How do I ask her to help me regain my trust in a civil manner? I really appreciate any help.
I came back to her after 8 months apart. About a month before my flight we had a really busy time with our studies so we felt somehow apart and a lack of communication. The day I was home, I was waiting for her to come and visit me so I play around her facebook a bit (we share passwords). but then I came across a message from her to another guy saying "i miss you". I know it was wrong to read it but at that point I couldn't control myself and I still regret it. What I realised from the chat log was they had a date on the day I was on the plane, she told me about it. But what hurts me is they did some intimate stuff together like holding hands and kissing on cheeks and idk what else. When my SO came I had a talk with her about that. She said she felt the distance between us but didn't know what to do about it so she be came vulnerable. She said that 'fling' just started on that day. Because of the distance, she didn't feel too comfortable seeing me. I really want to trust her but what she did really damage my trust somehow. After that she has to do more work so our communication became even harder. She doesn't want to skype with me as much and said she's to busy to skype wth me while just a few months ago no matter how busy she was we still go on skype just to see each other without any disturbing. It's really hard to text her or send her a message and get a reply from her. Sometimes I saw her online on facebook or whatsapp and saw my messages but still no reply. Even though sometimes I'm really tempted to check her messages again but I can't. It's just wrong and doesn't help but only make me more miserable and pathetic. My trust issues here, I don't think it's too big but it's really hard to get rid of with such low level of communication. By communication, I mean just showing some love for each other, like a short message saying 'I love you' or 'Have a nice day' just to make each other feel better since I understand she's busy right now so I don't want to ask for much. I tried to pick her up at work so we can have some physical contact after all those months but I don't feel she treasures it as much as she did last year. I want to confront her with my trust issues. All I need from her is being true to me and improve our communication. As I said, this trust issue is not that big but it's hard to get rid of and I don't want it to get bigger and turn me an insecure and controlling guy. But I really don't know how to start about it without her seeing me as being too demanding and not understanding her. How do I ask her to help me regain my trust in a civil manner? I really appreciate any help.
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