Hello! 1st post here! I live in Ohio (am 36 years old) and met a great guy (he's 33) online from Florida about 6 weeks ago. (I had posted a profile on a dating site stating that I would be moving there as soon as I could get a job transfer. I visited his city last year and fell in love with it, which started my plan of moving, long before I ever met him.)
Within a couple of days, we had added each other to Facebook, and were texting on and off all day. A day hasn't gone by where he hasn't texted good morning and goodnight, and we've had fairly long text conversations throughout the day, every single day. We've skyped twice, talked on the phone 3 or 4 more times, and send short videos to each other at least once a week and pictures every few days. We send random questions to each other every day to get to know each other better. I'm visiting him in 6 weeks for a 4 day visit. Things seem to be going great. He says that I seem to be everything he's been looking for, and while he's never done a LDR before, he's willing to do it because he really likes me.
My problem is that I'm starting to get a little nervous because I do like him, and my plans to move have been moved closer because I now have a bigger incentive to move. I'm starting to get a LOT nervous, because this situation reminds me of my last LDR that ended terribly in 2011. In the 2011 situation, I was thinking that I wanted to move to Texas, even though I'd never been there, so I answered an online ad and got involved with someone the same way. We never skyped and didn't text too much, but talked on the phone for at least an hour or two almost every night, and emailed and sent pictures. I visited him for a weekend 2 months after we started talking. The weekend went great, we continued talking about me moving out there and how much we had fallen in love... and then he ghosted a week after my visit. A few weeks went by and he came back, saying he was scared that I was going to uproot and change my whole life for him and then realize it was a mistake and hate him for it. We started talking again, and then a month later, the day after I bought another airline ticket to see him the following month, he ghosted again. I didn't hear from him for a year and a half. I contacted him out of the blue and asked him if he ever thought about me and regretted throwing me away. He emailed back within 7 minutes. We talked for a few weeks, and then he disappeared again. I was so heartbroken when he disappeared that first and second time that I fell into a deep depression that lasted a long time. It turned me off from ever wanting to move to the state that I fell in love with as a teenager.
So naturally, that being my only experience with LD, and now being in a similar situation, I'm terrified of falling for the new guy and having the same thing happen all over again. I know he's a completely different person, and I can tell that by the way we converse together, but my anxiety has convinced me that he's going to ghost after my visit and I'm going to get heartbroken again.
How do I get over this?
Within a couple of days, we had added each other to Facebook, and were texting on and off all day. A day hasn't gone by where he hasn't texted good morning and goodnight, and we've had fairly long text conversations throughout the day, every single day. We've skyped twice, talked on the phone 3 or 4 more times, and send short videos to each other at least once a week and pictures every few days. We send random questions to each other every day to get to know each other better. I'm visiting him in 6 weeks for a 4 day visit. Things seem to be going great. He says that I seem to be everything he's been looking for, and while he's never done a LDR before, he's willing to do it because he really likes me.
My problem is that I'm starting to get a little nervous because I do like him, and my plans to move have been moved closer because I now have a bigger incentive to move. I'm starting to get a LOT nervous, because this situation reminds me of my last LDR that ended terribly in 2011. In the 2011 situation, I was thinking that I wanted to move to Texas, even though I'd never been there, so I answered an online ad and got involved with someone the same way. We never skyped and didn't text too much, but talked on the phone for at least an hour or two almost every night, and emailed and sent pictures. I visited him for a weekend 2 months after we started talking. The weekend went great, we continued talking about me moving out there and how much we had fallen in love... and then he ghosted a week after my visit. A few weeks went by and he came back, saying he was scared that I was going to uproot and change my whole life for him and then realize it was a mistake and hate him for it. We started talking again, and then a month later, the day after I bought another airline ticket to see him the following month, he ghosted again. I didn't hear from him for a year and a half. I contacted him out of the blue and asked him if he ever thought about me and regretted throwing me away. He emailed back within 7 minutes. We talked for a few weeks, and then he disappeared again. I was so heartbroken when he disappeared that first and second time that I fell into a deep depression that lasted a long time. It turned me off from ever wanting to move to the state that I fell in love with as a teenager.
So naturally, that being my only experience with LD, and now being in a similar situation, I'm terrified of falling for the new guy and having the same thing happen all over again. I know he's a completely different person, and I can tell that by the way we converse together, but my anxiety has convinced me that he's going to ghost after my visit and I'm going to get heartbroken again.
How do I get over this?
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