Rock and a hard place

[Danm1218]

Ok so after five years of being apart my ex and I decided to get back together. I was with someone else during this time, but during that whole time we always thought about each other. This is somethinfg we've both doscussed multiple times. The reason we split were basically due to immaturity, what we had/have is extremely special and unforgettable. It's unlike anything I've ever felt with anyone else before ever. The problem is she lives in Florida now working a job she has dreamed about her whole life, seems like a no brainer right? I pack up and go to her. Well I've thought about it, multiple times but... I have a child, with the woman who I thought I was settling for because I figured the love of my life has moved on. We have now been together for the last 6 months and love each other as much as we did years ago and more. We know what we want and where we want to go the problem is, who has to make the sacrifice and why? I really have thought about packing up and going to her but cannot leave my son, I also cannot expect her to leave the job of her dreams. But what we have is unlike anything I have ever felt before in my life and I know I want to spend my life with her. Why is it so hard and why do such decisions have to be made, I am willing to make the sacrifice and so is she but we're both going to be giving up something that is a really REALLY big part of our lives.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

Well, SOMEBODY has to sacrifice, or you won't get together at all. I hate to be blunt, but jobs can be replaced, children can't. So she would need to find out if she can find a job like she has, in your area. The other option would be if you can take your son with you, but that might be very difficult, if not impossible, depending on who has custody of your son, and what the laws of your state are.

Really, we need more info to give you more counsel, because you haven't stated how far away you are, if both of you are in the US, or if this is an International LDR, which would make a huge difference.

Anyway, you have come to a good place for support from others in similar situations.

[TaraMarie]

I am in the same situation. I can't leave because of my children. I would NEVER take them from their father, plus, I LOVE living in the south. He was looking for a job here, and found his dream job.....THERE. I would never ask him to leave that and I will never move back to where I grew up. He is hoping to transfer with his company, so that option is still on the table. In the meantime, we fly back and forth every other weekend. Not the ideal situation, but better than what most have and better than being apart. How often can you visit? I know she's in Fl, but you didn't say where you live.

[itsjen516]

Like someone said maybe she can find her dream job close by is that any way possible? I think you to need to have a long talk. Your son is much more important then where she works.
Maybe you can even tell her you will help her find the same job in the state you live

[BlueCat]

How long has she had the job? In my opinion, you should never pull someone away from their dream job, they will resent you for it. I'm not saying that you should move away from your son, I'm saying that if she's going to move to you, she has to do it completely by her own choice, without any pressure, because leaving a job that is truly your dream, is like having a part of yourself taken away from you. I ask how long she's had it because if it's quite new, within a year or two, I would say then she has to be there a little longer, let her enjoy it, get the experience and maybe then she'll be able to apply for a similar job nearer to you (if available). Dream jobs don't just come along every day.

Having said all that, kids are super important too. I feel like your situation is not one that can be solved quickly, and you may be in for a couple of years of long distance, but it's worth it in the end.