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Having Faith and Trust in SO again

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    #1

    Having Faith and Trust in SO again

    I have a question for everyone:

    How do you begin to.trust and have faith in your SO again after he has ended the relationship with you 3 times because every time instead of talking to you first about what the real.problem is, he breaks up with you? We have been dating for almost 2 years now and we have both been faithful through the entire relationship. But I've noticed that when my SO gets over stressed with things that happen in his life he breaks up with me and doesn't give me the full explanation until we talk about it a couple days, after giving each other some space. I still love my SO very much and want to continue making this work. He said he'll work on changing his behavioral habits. But what's to stop him from doing it again. I know peopl e can't change their habits over night. What should I do?
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    #2
    It's hard to say for sure. I forgive easily, but I'd be wary about what if his life gets stressful again and he thinks about breaking up with you again? It'd be like walking in eggshells so to speak, it would also just add more stress to your life.
    I think he needs to change his ways. Instead of breaking up with you when he gets stressed, he needs to talk it out with you. How can you help if he doesn't tell you what's going on?
    "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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      #3
      See I need time to forgive him again and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, and I feel like we keep having to start over.

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        #4
        Originally posted by bribri2729 View Post
        See I need time to forgive him again and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, and I feel like we keep having to start over.
        It does take time to forgive. I say I forgive easily just because at this stage in my life I dislike holding grudges. I forgive, but I don't forget.
        It's understandable that it will take time, I say take as long as you need to figure out if he really is worth all that he has been putting you through.
        If he keeps doing this, how will you two ever get anywhere?
        "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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          #5
          You need to decide if this is something you can get over. He could possibly do it again, if he doesn't do some serious thinking and making a noticeable effort to change. Nobody should ever just break up with their SO the moment things get a little hectic. He should be able to talk it out with you, instead of just breaking up with you. Maybe when he feels a little overwhelmed, he can warn you that he's going to take some time to himself to think things through. I understand people wanting to be left alone in times of stress, so maybe he can use that as an alternative to breaking up with you.. I'm sorry you've gone through this so much, I really hope he comes around. If you notice nothing changes and he does it again, it may be time to decide if you want to put up with this forever or move on. Good luck!

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            #6
            Thanks and yea I hope he will warn me before this happens again and I hope he comes around. I don't want to move on but I'm tired of dealing with this. It's up to him now.

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              #7
              Originally posted by bribri2729 View Post
              Thanks and yea I hope he will warn me before this happens again and I hope he comes around. I don't want to move on but I'm tired of dealing with this. It's up to him now.
              Just because I don't want to see you ripped around each time he changes his mind, perhaps you can give it some thought as to what you'd do differently the next time this happens. And if it does happen, stick to your plan. You're right. Getting jerked around like that is emotionally draining and not worth it in my opinion.
              "Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

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                #8
                I agree with all the previous posters. You are supposed to be the one he turned to for support when things are going rough, not prematurely break things off things cause of other things in his life.

                Kuddos for you to sticking with this relationship so long. But yeah, you definitely need to have clear guidelines what would happen if he does it again, cause you definitely don't want to be in an endless cycle of a very fragile relationship.

                Good luck~


                Met online: 04.19.14
                Became a couple: 04.23.14
                First Visit: 08.09.14-08.15.14
                Second Visit: 12.17.14-12.28.14
                Third Visit: 02.13.15-02.15.15
                Fourth Visit: 04.03.15-04.06.15
                CLOSED THE DISTANCE/GOT MARRIED: 06.22.15/06.27.15

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by merlinkitty View Post
                  Just because I don't want to see you ripped around each time he changes his mind, perhaps you can give it some thought as to what you'd do differently the next time this happens. And if it does happen, stick to your plan. You're right. Getting jerked around like that is emotionally draining and not worth it in my opinion.
                  I've been thinking about what to do differently next time. If I want to stay or leave? Because this is draining and adding more stress to my life. My SO said if he relapse he wants me to give him some space and then confront him.

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by Noodle View Post
                    I agree with all the previous posters. You are supposed to be the one he turned to for support when things are going rough, not prematurely break things off things cause of other things in his life.

                    Kuddos for you to sticking with this relationship so long. But yeah, you definitely need to have clear guidelines what would happen if he does it again, cause you definitely don't want to be in an endless cycle of a very fragile relationship.

                    Good luck~
                    That's what hurt me the most and still hurts me, that he didn't come to me for*support. Will he do this everytime life gets rough for him? I believe in fixing our relationship rather than just throwing it away. I guess I'm a little more old fashioned. I've been doing a lot of thinking as to how I'm going to react the next time my SO tries to pull this stunt, because I do not have the patience to be in a rollercoaster relationship.

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