To make a long story short, this girl and I have been friends for about two years now, we met in 2012. Perhaps about a year and a half ago, I began to have feelings for her, and she had feelings for me. However at the time I couldn't date, and still can't. I tried to date behind my parents' back with other people, but I would always feel guilty, so I decided to stop. She understood, and moved on to another guy, her other best friend. They started dating a year and some change ago. As the year or so they were together went on, my feelings for her seemed to become dormant or seemed to lessen and I had crushes on a lot of other people. Being best friends and all, we knew about each other's relationship issues or crushes in my case. We could tell each other everything.
Fast forward a year and a half later from when feelings came out. It's now June 2014. About a month ago, her boyfriend broke up with her, due to her cheating (she told him herself and also told me). Now I find my dormant feelings for her coming back, as if the simple idea of having another chance but still no real chance at all because my parents insist on me giving up basically everything except education (no dating at all until done with college, keep communication with friends to a minimum) was all they needed to come back. I feel odd, since it's only been a month since they broke up. She told me before (about a year ago) that she thought about what it would be like if we had been together and she wasn't forced to reject her feelings for me back in 2013 when she liked me, and that those thoughts never truly went away.
Given that she and her boyfriend pretty much just broke up, I won't make any moves. I couldn't even if I wanted to, besides she needs time to heal. But what can I do about the feelings I have?
Oh, and to clarify about my parents: They continuously say that education is the most important thing, and they insist that education is the only thing I should focus on until college is over. It's at the point where I barely even get to go out unless it's school related, I haven't even been to a movie theater since Michael Jackson's "This Is It" came out. I've read stuff on here about how when you're 18 (I'm 17 right now, the girl is 15) things are your choice, but that doesn't exactly apply here, or does it? I'm not fully American. My whole family lived in Africa for a good part of their lives before coming here, I was the only one to be born in America. They're even insisting that I stay in the state for college because they need to "keep an eye on me" even though I haven't given them a reason not to trust me. I even came clean to them about a past LDR when I was 14 and in response, they made me stop talking to everyone I knew online. I kept talking to the girl this post is about, after constant guilt ridden breaks from talking to her (I would leave for a month or two then come back).
Fast forward a year and a half later from when feelings came out. It's now June 2014. About a month ago, her boyfriend broke up with her, due to her cheating (she told him herself and also told me). Now I find my dormant feelings for her coming back, as if the simple idea of having another chance but still no real chance at all because my parents insist on me giving up basically everything except education (no dating at all until done with college, keep communication with friends to a minimum) was all they needed to come back. I feel odd, since it's only been a month since they broke up. She told me before (about a year ago) that she thought about what it would be like if we had been together and she wasn't forced to reject her feelings for me back in 2013 when she liked me, and that those thoughts never truly went away.
Given that she and her boyfriend pretty much just broke up, I won't make any moves. I couldn't even if I wanted to, besides she needs time to heal. But what can I do about the feelings I have?
Oh, and to clarify about my parents: They continuously say that education is the most important thing, and they insist that education is the only thing I should focus on until college is over. It's at the point where I barely even get to go out unless it's school related, I haven't even been to a movie theater since Michael Jackson's "This Is It" came out. I've read stuff on here about how when you're 18 (I'm 17 right now, the girl is 15) things are your choice, but that doesn't exactly apply here, or does it? I'm not fully American. My whole family lived in Africa for a good part of their lives before coming here, I was the only one to be born in America. They're even insisting that I stay in the state for college because they need to "keep an eye on me" even though I haven't given them a reason not to trust me. I even came clean to them about a past LDR when I was 14 and in response, they made me stop talking to everyone I knew online. I kept talking to the girl this post is about, after constant guilt ridden breaks from talking to her (I would leave for a month or two then come back).
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