42 days left until he leaves

[Amalie]

Hey everyone
This is my first post so please tell me I'm doing anything wrong with the layout and so on..
But I just really want to tell you all that my boyfriend is leaving me in Denmark in 42 days.
As you can read in my profile he's going to Brasil for a year and I am kinda heart broken right now.
I need some support but every single family member I have says "Just leave him already. It will never work"

I think I need someone who understands me - and what I am about to go through - and then I thought about you guys.
If you have some good advices for me, please tell me..

- Amalie

[Miasmata]

Make sure to make the most of the time you got - Don't spend it being sad about that he has to leave, as understandable as it is, spend it enjoying his presence and having a wonderful time together.

As for making the distance work, well, there are plenty of threads and stories here that you can read and that might give you insight into the ways other people deal. Generally: Communicate plenty, be honest with each other, and do things together like watch shows, talk about your days, play games, etc. - Whatever you like. It's hard, but it's absolutely possible to keep a relationship going over the distance as long as you both feel happy with each other. Good luck!

[Noodle]

Yes, definitely make the best of the days you got left with him. Don't think of it as 'he leaves in so and so days' but more like 'I still have so and so days with him'. Make them happy days you can remember.

As far as distance, you can definitely survive it if both your hearts are into it. So don't listen to the ney-sayers. As you can see, there is a lot of examples on this forum of LDR's working all the time and that's what you should be believing in. And don't forget communication is key! A year really isn't that long and it'll go by a lot faster than you think.

Good luck

[Hollandia]

You have a known end of your tunnel, so you can know you are going into with that light already there. I would suggest trying to see if you can plan a trip at halfway point and then you just have to make it 6 months each time. I know it will be hard but if you two are both in it then it will be fine. It will suck, but it will be fine. Get ready to start figuring out ways to stay close while apart and you might like to sit down and talk about what your guidelines and goals are for doing the LDR thing. You have a time difference but it is quite doable. Me and my SO are 6 hours apart when I am in Delaware and we still manage to Skype most days for a few hours. Sometimes he stays up to talk to me and sometimes I get up uber early for him but we make it work. I have Skype on smartphone so that helps to be able to talk when not home gives you ability to communicate more often. Yahoo messenger does seem to work better when not on wifi so I have them both on mine. We watch movies together while chatting and post on forums together and we keep each other in our lives.

[Unconditional]

Everyone pretty much covered everything well (applauds other posters) =)
All I have to say is, welcome to the lfad family. Also, don't take to heart what others say , because they themselves don't know how to handle an LDR, or ever had had one. Therefore, they can't really give as much insight as we can.
Feel free to ask all of us ANYTHING, cause that's what we're here for! =)

[Miasmata]

To expand on that, I'm not going to sugarcoat it, LDRs are tough and require effort and understanding to work out. You will inevitably have days where you feel incredibly lonely and that it's all just too much. So in that respect, the people who advise against a LDR have a point - It's not easy, and it will definitely have really bad days.

However, and that's the crucial part, as long as you both feel it's worth it, that's all the reason it takes to keep going. Nobody else can decide that for you two, so if you both think it's worth it, it's worth it.

[whatruckus]

I can't add anything else to what everyone has already said. But, I'm here to tell you to stick with it! Forget about the people that tell you to give up. If you both put the effort in and communicate, it will work. Good luck!!!!

[Dave12314]

Great ideas here. I just want to add one more thing. I'm in the military which is preventing me from being with my SO. There are tons of people that go 12-15 months apart from the spouses and kids on a recurring basis for deployments. It's hard. Sometimes the relationships don't work out. But many times they persevere and they become stronger for going through that hardship together. Focus on the positive. Know what you want. The best things in life are worth fighting for. Most of all stay positive and don't let the naysayers get to you. One movie quote I enjoy is from Anthony Hopkins character in the edge. What one man can do another can do. This site helps us all by understanding there are so many people going though the same hardships we are. The thing I tell my SO is no one can break us apart but us. If we are a team and choose to be together nothing can stop us and one day we will achieve our happiness. You only have 1 year. It's not that bad. I've been 6 months apart right now and we have almost 2 years to go, but we do see each other every two months. U can do this. I have faith in u