A Little Progression

[bribri2729]

So every since my SO and I had that.long.discussion about why my SO decided to end things for the 3rd time there has been a little progress made. He's been calling me every morning so he's the first person I talk to and he told his mom we were talking. That is all great but doesn't change the fact that I still feel like I'm walking on egg shells in this relationship. I want more progression like I want him to do more for me to get me to trust me again. Am I asking for too much? To be honest I don't want to be in the working things out stage anymore we've been doing this since February and I'm ready to take things to the next level, but I'm scared at the same time. We shouldn't even still be in the stage to begin with. At this time in life without all the bullshit that happened we could be visiting each other back and forth going on more dates, getting more comfortable with each others familes and talking about closing the distance more. I feel like we're in stage one again and I just don't know what to do anymore. Please help!

[Hollandia]

So every since my SO and I had that.long.discussion about why my SO decided to end things for the 3rd time there has been a little progress made. He's been calling me every morning so he's the first person I talk to and he told his mom we were talking. That is all great but doesn't change the fact that I still feel like I'm walking on egg shells in this relationship. I want more progression like I want him to do more for me to get me to trust me again. Am I asking for too much? To be honest I don't want to be in the working things out stage anymore we've been doing this since February and I'm ready to take things to the next level, but I'm scared at the same time. We shouldn't even still be in the stage to begin with. At this time in life without all the bullshit that happened we could be visiting each other back and forth going on more dates, getting more comfortable with each others familes and talking about closing the distance more. I feel like we're in stage one again and I just don't know what to do anymore. Please help!

Sounds like someone needs to sh@t or get off the pot. Walking on eggshells and being afraid to ask him is not getting you anywhere. Ask him if you two are going to be a couple again or just friends. If he says just friends then some distance might help you work past it for a bit. It is hard to get over someone when you still talk to them everyday. A decision needs to be made and when it does, you need to accept whichever way it goes and move forward in that direction.

[merlinkitty]

I hate that feeling. I agree with Hollandia. I feel like relationships should be mostly a steady progression forward with the occasional step back. Resetting to stage one always makes me feel like all the hard work was for naught. You didn't earn the privilege of working so hard just to be tip toeing around him again, afraid of pushing him away or ticking him off. If it's really bothering you I would assert your right to know where you two stand. But you also have to accept the answer if it's something you don't like. But to me, the not knowing makes me a little sick and you don't deserve that kind of limbo.

[bribri2729]

Sounds like someone needs to sh@t or get off the pot. Walking on eggshells and being afraid to ask him is not getting you anywhere. Ask him if you two are going to be a couple again or just friends. If he says just friends then some distance might help you work past it for a bit. It is hard to get over someone when you still talk to them everyday. A decision needs
be made and when it does, you need to accept whichever way it goes and move forward in that direction.

First off I'm not on pot! Maybe I was just having a rough night! He knows how I'm feeling and I don't like feeling like it either and I wouldn't if my SO didn't get over stressed about life and decide to break up with me three times because of that so now I do. From whst I know he wants to be a couple again but he said he wants to finish school first.

[Hollandia]

First off I'm not on pot! Maybe I was just having a rough night! He knows how I'm feeling and I don't like feeling like it either and I wouldn't if my SO didn't get over stressed about life and decide to break up with me three times because of that so now I do. From whst I know he wants to be a couple again but he said he wants to finish school first.

No, he is the one on the pot. He broke up with you 3 times, if you are not that upset over how he is treating you then what is the problem? "From what you know" is an assumption, if you don't want eggshells then you need to get clarification.

[silvermoonfairy3]

First off I'm not on pot!

Hon, it's an expression. :P
Pot basically means toilet in that phrase.
It means someone needs to 'make up their mind' or 'get on with it.'

""Shit or get off the pot" is a common English language colloquial expression, used to imply a person should follow up their stated intentions with action. It is also used to urge someone to complete a task with a greater degree of efficiency or timeliness than is observed at the time the expression is used. Implicit in the expression is that the person, by failing to act, is preventing others from acting.
The expression, in this way, is essentially instruction for someone to stop being indecisive or procrastinating, and act."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shit_or_get_off_the_pot

Hollandia just meant your SO needs to commit or be upfront about not committing, none of this waffling.

From whst I know he wants to be a couple again but he said he wants to finish school first.

If that's the case, are you guys seeing other people while he finishes school? Have you had discussion about what it all means, explicitly, so that you're both on the same page and try to minimize misunderstandings or hurt?

[Miasmata]

I agree with the others - If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells and that everything is too unstable, you need to adress that ASAP. A relationship needs to have some security in it as well as mutual respect, and if you don't feel you're getting that, that's a serious issue that needs to be discussed.