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A week from 1st meet and I feel he's backing off

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    A week from 1st meet and I feel he's backing off

    I know I could be reading a lot into texts and things because with my last LDR, he ghosted after our first meet, but I'm starting to feel like B isn't as interested as he was. We've been communicating every day for almost 3 months, and this last 2 weeks I've felt that the communication has gotten stale, and he's no longer saying the sweet things he would before, or when I mention something sweet or something about how close the visit is, all I get is crickets or a changed subject. I've called him out on it point blank (like today we were texting and I said, "Do you know what today is?" He said "1week", and I sent him a screenshot of a countdown app I have that showed how many days, hours, etc. I got nothing in return. After about 15 minutes I said, "No excitement? lol" and he replied "Haha Yay! lol" I mentioned it more seriously one day last week that I felt like he was pulling away, and he said that wasn't true, that everything was fine, just to relax. Well, those words are always red flags to me.

    I'm frustrated, because I can definitely tell a difference in our communication, and I've asked him about it, and he says nothing's wrong. If I keep pressing, it will irritate him, I'm sure, but we talked early on about how if one of us changed our mind, we needed to be upfront about it so we could keep our friendship, and he agreed.

    On Tuesday I was in a minor fender bender, and yesterday I found out that I may not be able to rent out my house due to mortgage restrictions, which would put a crimp in the plan of me moving. I made the mistake of telling him, and now I get the feeling that he's starting to not want to deal with someone who may not be there soon, as was the original plan. He says all is good, but you know how you can just tell when someone's demeanor obviously changes.

    I know that all I can do at this point is just try not to worry and just wait to see how things go on our visit, but it's hard to really open up and be yourself when you feel like the ball could drop any minute.
    Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, Love gives us a fairytale!

    #2
    Guys have weird ways of expressing excitement sometime. I am the same and would be reading in between the lines too much, especially right before a big step such as a first visit. But you should try to enjoy the excitement of the meet and concentrate on being able to finally see him. Since you have the agreement to tell each other that if you wanted to back out, and since he hasn't, I would take that as a good sign ^^


    Met online: 04.19.14
    Became a couple: 04.23.14
    First Visit: 08.09.14-08.15.14
    Second Visit: 12.17.14-12.28.14
    Third Visit: 02.13.15-02.15.15
    Fourth Visit: 04.03.15-04.06.15
    CLOSED THE DISTANCE/GOT MARRIED: 06.22.15/06.27.15

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      #3
      I have this really bad habit of reading too much into stuff and letting my past history (history that has nothing to do with my present) dictate how I react to things. SO tells me to knock it off lol He's not always in the perkiest of moods (as we all are), and I can really get myself really worked up if I start reading into the fact that he's not sounding his usual perky self. It's usually cause he's got a lot of stuff going on at the moment and has nothing to do with how he feels about me or where we're at. You're only a week away from the meetup. I wouldn't let these suppositions bother you in the meantime because that might affect your time together. Just try and enjoy yourself
      "Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

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        #4
        It might be just nerves on his end. His replies sound ok to me.
        And I think the OP might be "reading" things that aren't there due to her past bad experience.
        Try and relax and enjoy the coming visit!

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          #5
          I'm trying to convince myself that he's just gotten comfortable with me and settled down a little. It's just hard to think that when he used to say that he "knew that we would have chemistry in person and things would be great when we met", and now he says he "takes things as they come".

          :-(
          Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, Love gives us a fairytale!

          Comment


            #6
            Aw don't worry too much. This scenario reminds me of my SO and I. I got more nervous as the date to meet up approached and was worried we might be shy or awkward around each other. My so is usually more sure of himself and he easily expressed his excitement while I held back more. He first meeting ended up being an exciting and very fun experience. This is common as I've heard and talked to other long distance couples meeting and they are either super excited or kinda nervous so I would assume it is probably that, although I can't say I know for sure. Good luck and have fun!

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              #7
              Just enjoy your visit. My experience is that women tend to over analyze what men say.
              sigpic

              I love him. Forever. And every day after that.

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                #8
                It's so hard to not read between the lines and over think everything, but if you don't stop it, you'll drive yourself crazy. LDRs are so emotionally draining at times, the last thing you need to do is put yourself through more. I know there have been times when I've tried to read between the lines with my SO, he's flat out told me "I'm a guy, you don't need to read between the lines, if I have a problem I'll tell you". Apparently this is something I just don't understand because all the guys I've known were never very straight forward. Just ride it out, see what happens. It's probably nothing serious

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