Meeting The Parents?

[Emerald]

A little background information, a little over a year ago, I met a guy on a social anxiety website and we have been talking nonstop ever since. We aren't officially a couple yet because neither of us wants to be official while its long distance, but we love each other deeply. He just told me that he got accepted at my university and is transferring and going to school here in the fall so we will be closing the distance for good. The thing is, his mom asked him if this means that she is going to get to meet me. I would LOVE to meet his family but I am just a little nervous because she didn't even know I existed until a few months ago and she doesn't even know how me and her son know each other. Im just nervous about the whole situation especially since the status of our relationship is so complicated. I just want to know how to make a good impression. Me and my guy have already met in person so im not at all worried about that, but I don't even know what his mom looks like and she doesn't know what I look like either. Im just really nervous. What was it like for all of you meeting the parents?

[snow]

This is completely normal and every single person goes through the same questions when they are to meet their SO's parents Most times you don't know what they look like and they might have seen some pictures of you, so they don't know much about you either! Just be yourself, be polite and things will go smoothly.
Your relationship sounds complicated to you, but to be honest, it doesn't sound that complicated to me. You met online and don't want to officially call it a relationship until you can be together in person. That is totally fine and I don't think it will look bad to his mother. The fact that she is even asking about you is a good sign!

[Miasmata]

I've yet to meet my SO's parents, but I already know the cultural and ideological differences will make it pretty challenging. Oof! Thankfully I have until December before I visit, but still, I get a bit antsy sometimes already.

I agree with snow - Emerald, it's definitely not as complicated as you think, and your nervousness is absolutely understandable. But remember, you will get to know each other both - His mom is as curious about you as you are about her. Be friendly and openminded and I'm optimistic it will go well. Best of luck!

[RachelAnne]

It's always terrifying meeting the parents for the first time, especially in a situation like this. My SO and I basically hid each other for a long time, and then the day we finally told our parents about each other was scary. His mom seemed hesitant about us starting a relationship, which just amped up my nerves before I met her. Although when I finally got the chance to, it was perfect. His parents were (and still are) very accepting of me and us, and now that they've gotten used to our relationship after three years, I have nothing to worry about. Just be yourself and be respectful and everything will be fine Good luck!

[GuineaPunk]

Try not to stress yourself out about it too much, to be honest you have already flown over the first hurdle. They want to meet you. Lots of parents can be very unsupportive, or completely disinterested in the whole situation shrugging it off as not real due to the distance. Your SO has obviously spoken incredibly fondly of you, and it has sparked his family's curiosity.

Most people get really nervous about meeting their other SO's parents. I was super nervous about meeting my boyfriends family, as they don't speak English! I went and stayed with them for two weeks, even though none of them had even seen a picture of me (or I of them) and we couldn't communicate with each other very well. It went fine, they made me welcome, and we found a way to communication with our hands and facial expressions. I have since spoken to his Mum over the phone in faltering Swahili, just to make an effort. Do you think it would help calm your nerves if you could speak to a member of his family over the phone before you meet them? It might make the process seem a little less daunting if there are two familiar voices in the mix.

And I agree with snow, you're relationship doesn't sound that complicated. Some people find it hard to quantify what their relationship is as a result of the miles between them, but if you love each other a label for it doesn't really matter.

[Bobbiejeanne]

I can totally understand why not having a name to a relationship could be seen as stressful. My mum met my SO when were still "dating" and not "in a relationship". It was hard to introduce them, because I didn't know what to call him!
But I can tell you this: It sounds like your SO's mother understands the situation, and isn't going to let that affect how she sees you. If you both truly love her kid, you will always have something in common!
Don't let the nerves get to you. As long and you are polite, courteous, and most importantly YOURSELF, you can't go wrong!

I'm excited for you guys to be closing the distance and working towards a happy, stable relationship.

[differentcountries]

I met his mother, his aunt and his grandmother over Skype before I met them live. That was great because then I knew what they looked like and they seemed nice, so I was looking forward to it. SO also showed me most of the place on Skype and sent me pictures. That was especially helpful because there were huge cultural differences as well as language challenges (mum spoke no English and I hardly knew any Turkish and no Arabic) . It was important that we all had a positive outlook on it. I brought some small gifts, perhaps you can, too. It also helps to help around the house. And just show that you care for your SO, that is the main thing.

[Ejoriah]

I met my boyfriend's parents really soon after we started dating. He told me that, since he is really close to his parents, if they didn't approve of me our relationship probably didn't have much of a future. Thankfully both his parents adore me and keep telling me I need to go back and visit them/stay a while. I am the first girl they've met that they've liked this much (both him and his mother told me the same thing, and I am inclined to believe it - his mother is very outspoken and not one to sugarcoat things).

I think it's normal to be nervous when meeting the parents for the first time. She's asking about you, it's a good thing that she wants to know you instead of pretending that you don't exist or not taking you seriously enough. I suggest you ask your SO what kind of person she is and just go with the flow.

[rhabdoviridae]

If she's asking if she gets to meet you, she knows that you're important to him. Take that as a good thing! It's always scary meeting their family for the first time but I love my in-laws so much and I'm sure she'll be really nice and welcoming to you