Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

New LDR how do you cope?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    New LDR how do you cope?

    Hi guys,
    My boyfriend of two years is going to Europe for 40 days starting tomorrow. I've been trying to stay positive but it's hard! I'm excited for him but worried about living without him for so long. We can stay in touch when he can find wifi but I don't want to ruin his trip by calling him too much. He's my best friend and I've become pretty dependent on him being in my life... I'm worried about how I'll live without him for the next 40 days... I know this may seem like nothing to you who have to spend months away from your SO but this has been really hard on me. What if he meets someone on his trip and decides I'm not good enough? He says that's ridiculous but it's possible... How do you all cope without your SO? Stay busy? Meet with other friends? I don't have many friends since they're all moving away and getting married... Idk what to do, any advice on how to get through this???? I've totally lost my appetite, I feel like I'm going into depression, how do you all prevent this? My life is just sucky without him, I hate this

    #2
    Hey! Welcome to LFAD!

    First off.. breathe.. it's only 40 days. Although it's a bit different to my LDR as since he is going on a holiday, he might be going from place to place in Europe with not much time to talk... so I think your best bet its to keep busy, hang out with any friends or family you can, take pictures or write down things you do so you can share them with your SO when he gets back.. be supportive.. write him messages he can read when he gets WIFI but don't put too much pressure on him. And don't worry about him meeting another girl.. I'm not sure how long you have been together, but he has chosen you and is committed to you so you MUST trust him okay. And make a countdown, each day you spend apart is one day closer to seeing him again!! 40 days is just a bit longer than a month, it'll go by in no time.. if you have a job or something maybe try getting some extra hours to keep you busy.. or start a new hobby.. maybe make some videos of things you do when you are apart that you can share when you are together again. And come back to the forum and post if you ever need to talk to other people who definitely understand what it's like to miss their SOs. You can do it, stay strong.. try to relax..

    Comment


      #3
      Thank you I just can't stop crying and I've just been freaking out about who I can hang out with and how I can keep myself busy! We talked about getting engaged this summer so when that didn't happen and he told me he was going on this vacation I kind of freaked out..

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by KelseylovesWes View Post
        Thank you I just can't stop crying and I've just been freaking out about who I can hang out with and how I can keep myself busy! We talked about getting engaged this summer so when that didn't happen and he told me he was going on this vacation I kind of freaked out..
        Honestly the best advice I can give is to stay busy. Do things you really enjoy, or even better try something new while he's away. It'll allow you to focus on something other than him being gone, and it will give you two something to talk about when he gets back. As for him meeting someone while away, the reality is he could meet someone when he's not away too. But he's not going to, because he's with you, he's chosen you and if he's a decent man he's not going to stray away from his relationship.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by KelseylovesWes View Post
          Thank you I just can't stop crying and I've just been freaking out about who I can hang out with and how I can keep myself busy! We talked about getting engaged this summer so when that didn't happen and he told me he was going on this vacation I kind of freaked out..
          It's still summer. He'll be back before summer is over. Honey, he's going to be gone for a month. I seriously doubt he'll meet someone in Europe and break it off. He's going on vacation. Would you be this worried if he was going away for two weeks?


          2016 Goal: Buy a house.
          Progress: Complete!

          2017 Goal: Pay off credit card debt
          Progress: Working on it.

          Comment


            #6
            We did 30 days apart every 90 days for two years. it's hard but this is not permanent, you have a huge light at the end of your tunnel. Keep in touch and stay busy. Watch movies online while chatting and play games. The time will pass and he will be back. You trust him and love him, so this is just an adjustment you have to make for 5 weeks or so. The hardest week for me is the first one and then I go into countdown mode, and before you know it, you are back in his arms again.

            Feel free to post a lot on here too, that is one of the main things I do to pass the time when he is not with me. It helped me tremendously. Welcome to LFAD! You are not in this alone.
            "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
            Benjamin Franklin

            Comment


              #7
              The previous posters have pretty much covered all the bases. Please just calm down, and relax. Take the time to do things on your own, or with friends, and treat yourself every once in a while. Best advice is to stay busy with friends, family and/or work.
              Keep a countdown, forty days will go by before you know it! =)
              If you need more advice, feel free to make another post here, we all know what you're going through right now.
              "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

              Comment


                #8
                My SO and I have to wait 30-60 days (sometimes more) between seeing each other. We've been LD for almost a year and a half.
                40 days is really not that bad. They'll fly by fast.



                Comment


                  #9
                  40 days will go so quickly. Use the opportunity to do something for yourself, learn a new skill, start a new hobby, go out and meet some new people. You'll get through it.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    You'll be surprised at how quickly the time does go by. Keep yourself busy with anything. Do things you enjoy, spend time with friends and family. Just know that it's not forever and that every day is one day closer to being together again. You've been together over 2 years, one month apart won't change how he feels about you and if he truly loves you, he will be faithful. Just trust him.

                    "Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches."

                    Like a drum, my heart never stops beating for you.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I use this too, it helps me for some reason to see the time ticking away.

                      https://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/create
                      "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                      Benjamin Franklin

                      Comment


                        #12
                        You'll be ok. Keep busy and keep up communication. 40 days is not a long time at all, that would be a dream for me.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by KelseylovesWes View Post
                          Hi guys,
                          My boyfriend of two years is going to Europe for 40 days starting tomorrow. I've been trying to stay positive but it's hard! I'm excited for him but worried about living without him for so long. We can stay in touch when he can find wifi but I don't want to ruin his trip by calling him too much. He's my best friend and I've become pretty dependent on him being in my life... I'm worried about how I'll live without him for the next 40 days... I know this may seem like nothing to you who have to spend months away from your SO but this has been really hard on me. What if he meets someone on his trip and decides I'm not good enough? He says that's ridiculous but it's possible... How do you all cope without your SO? Stay busy? Meet with other friends? I don't have many friends since they're all moving away and getting married... Idk what to do, any advice on how to get through this???? I've totally lost my appetite, I feel like I'm going into depression, how do you all prevent this? My life is just sucky without him, I hate this
                          I hope you don't mind my asking, where he will be in Europe? Because Europe includes a lot of countries. Is it a country that has severe financial problems, or is it a country that is not deep in debt? Is it part of the former USSR or Soviet-bloc that may still be climbing out of the pre-perestroika days.

                          First Visit: September 2016
                          Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
                          Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

                          John 3:16
                          For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
                          John 4:12
                          I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Making a countdown can really help. Like, can you buy a journal and write to him once a day, and give it to him when he comes back? Or make him something other that helps you count down? Honestly, the first times we were doing 60-67 days apart were pretty hard. Compared to that, our now usual 21 days apart is so very little. Keep busy. Eat food (even chips if you have to, but eat). How about working out?
                            I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                            - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                            "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

                            Comment

                            Working...
                            X