Worried.

[nerdgasm42]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months now. We have seen each other in person 3 times so far, and I am going to visit him in two weeks. We used to stay up all until the wee hours of the morning talking, back when we first met. We had so much in common and shared so many stories about growing up. We were both geeky and shy but able to open up so easily to each other. I fell head over heels in love with him quickly, and he reciprocated my feelings. It was always a pleasure coming home and getting to talk to him. We didn't even have to have much to say - it was just knowing that the other person was there. It seems that things have gotten harder after the last visit though. Granted, it is summer time, and things usually get more hectic I suppose, during the summer. He has been very busy with work a lot of days. I unfortunately lost my job unexpectedly the end of May (it closed down) and I have been looking for another, but have not had luck yet. I am also taking summer courses in order to try to get my degree sooner so I can move in with him and we can close the distance. A lot of days I'm really busy with homework, but mostly I'm just stuck at home. When he is home, it seems most days he's playing games with friends or doing other things...which is fine. I just miss him. I feel like I barely hear from him anymore. I feel like he would rather talk to anyone else but me. I miss the random I love you's in the middle of the day, because I'm on his mind. I keep telling myself that he's just busy. I guess it's just that the longer it goes on, the harder it gets for me. I start second guessing everything. I told him one of my biggest fears was being the one who loved the most and didn't get that back, because that's how I feel other relationships have gone. I didn't feel like that with him, at all. But now it does feel that way. I'm just starting to second guess everything and feeling so depressed and lost. I'm glad that I get to see him soon, but instead of looking forward to just spending time with him, I'm looking forward to seeing if things are different when we are physically together...because maybe that will help me answer the millions of questions floating around in my head. The last thing I want is to lose him. I seriously don't think I can handle that. And he still tells me that he wants to be with me forever, and that he wants to marry me some day, etc. Am I reading too much into the situation? Maybe it's just worse now because I'm stuck at home, and have so much time to think and worry about things. It just sucks feeling like I'm being thrown on the back burner.

[whatruckus]

I think you might be overthinking things a little bit. Some guys are like that though, my SO is. In the beginning he was lovey dovey, texting me all the time and whatnot, but then it started dying down because he got comfortable. If you're really concerned, I would talk to him about it. At least he is still telling you he loves you, wants to marry you, etc. If he stopped doing that altogether, then I would be worried.

[RachelAnne]

I don't think you have anything to worry about You said he still tells you that he loves you and wants to be with you forever--you need to focus on that. It sounds as if ya'll are just getting out of the honeymoon phase, and it's not all lovely-dovey romantic anymore. Trust that his feeling have not changed. If they have, he wouldn't still be saying those things to you. And that would be when you would need to worry. You're seeing him very soon, and I think you'll realize when you're with him in person that nothing has changed and you have nothing to freak out about. Just breathe, tell yourself you have both been busy, and look forward to seeing him. But if this is something that continues to bother you, then it wouldn't hurt to bring it up with him. Communication is key. Good luck

[whatruckus]

I don't think you have anything to worry about You said he still tells you that he loves you and wants to be with you forever--you need to focus on that. It sounds as if ya'll are just getting out of the honeymoon phase, and it's not all lovely-dovey romantic anymore. Trust that his feeling have not changed. If they have, he wouldn't still be saying those things to you. And that would be when you would need to worry. You're seeing him very soon, and I think you'll realize when you're with him in person that nothing has changed and you have nothing to freak out about. Just breathe, tell yourself you have both been busy, and look forward to seeing him. But if this is something that continues to bother you, then it wouldn't hurt to bring it up with him. Communication is key. Good luck

Yep yep!! I couldn't remember what the phrase was lol.

[nerdgasm42]

Thank you SO much. That is exactly what I needed to hear! I hate this being unemployed and sitting around at home...I have so much time to overanalyze every single thing, you know? I never even thought about the fact that it could just be him getting comfortable with the relationship. I just got back from a 1.5 mile walk - it felt so good to just get outside and clear my mind and enjoy the fresh air. I'm going to go into the visit with a positive mindset and hope and pray everything is as I *think* it will be and you ladies have encouraged that. Seriously, you have no idea how much of a help you both have been right now. Thank you.

[rhabdoviridae]

Sounds like normal progression to me. I would suggest finding another hobby or making an effort to keep busy even outside of class/homework. I know when I'm sitting at home is when I start to feel lonely; going out with friends, even for dinner, is helpful to make the time go by.

[RachelAnne]

So glad you're feeling better! You definitely need to go into this with a positive mindset I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Trust me, if he wasn't feeling the same anymore, he wouldn't be telling you that he still wants to marry you. Have trust and be positive

[aniay]

I don't think you should be worried.

Relationships change as they progress. It's quite normal that the lovey-dovey at the bgining slowly changes into evryday routine. With my relationships I am with what I call stage 3.
First was finding the similarities, second was finding the differences and the third is trying to accept thos differences while there are more and more appearing.

Even though the lovey-dovey disapears, as long as you feel loved and cared for it's okay if his behaviour changes. I told my SO that I miss some of the things he had done at the begining and sometimes he can still surprise me with with how he acts, but I am not his Polish Princes anymore

Guys quite often show love through different things that just saying I love you, it's just a matter of seeing those things; but if you ever feel unloved or you miss some things from the begining of the relationship you could always mention it, otherwise he won't know.

Good luck