When I met my boyfriend 2 years ago he seemed like my night and shining armor. We were inseparable and had to see each other every day. My boyfriend is from Africa and I'm American. We both are entrepreneurs and I always encouraged him and helped him get his business off the ground. I knee he would haft to travel home since his business was international. He promised he wouldn't be gone but a couple months witch turned into 6 months. We barely talked no Skype or messaging. He says I complain but o just didn't want to be left in the dark because this situation was new to me. When he got back he was so busy he didn't spend time with me. It was like he was a different person. He ended up leaving 2 months later again saying he's only going to be gone for a few months. Well that turned into 6_ months again.. He came back only to spend more time with his friends and at this point I've become frustrated. I fell in love with a man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. But it seems the man I fell in love with doesn't exist anymore. Its like he have changed I understand his work ethics but I'm also a hard worker and common sense would say we should spend time together since he has to travel. Not to mention he just left again right before my birthday after missing it last year.. He has become very selfish and I feel that I should move on. I was in a very abusive relationship before him so it was hard for me to ever date again. He opened my heart back up again and I fell in love. I'm 32 and I don't want to spend my life being uncertain. He says he love me and can't let me go but at this point I can't help but to wonder if he already have. Maybe he's in denial but I'm not. I love myself and I feel I should move on at times but I love him. I would like to have someone else opinion before I move any further.
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Running a business is really hard, I don't know what kind he or you have but when they struggle they take the life out of you. If you don't make money, you don't get paid and yet your business bills still need to be paid, it can unravel quite quickly and the stress is impossible at times. I understand how it can adversely affect relationships if you are not careful.
All this being said, if you really want to be with someone you find a way. You make sacrifices and it sounds like you either need to except less from him, or he needs to give you more or it won't work. Your 32 not 10, so don't take this the wrong way, your an adult and my SO forgot my birthday a few years back and yes it hurt but shit happens and you move on, being your birthday won't affect his business most likely unless he has the ability to pick and choose when he can travel regarding his business matters. As a business owner, you don't always have that luxury and making him feel guilty for it if he can't help it, won't help either of you.
Sit him down and talk to him, is this really about his business needs and something the two of your need to figure out or is he just using his business as a way to gradually slow things down between the two of you because you want something that he is not ready for or no longer wants? You would need to explain his "selfish" behavior you spoke of before I could comment on that. It again really just comes down to how much is his business and how much is his choice. How much time does he communicate with you on a daily or weekly basis when he is away or with you?"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
Benjamin Franklin
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I try to send messages but sometimes I feel like I'm putting forth more effort. Sometimes its two weeks before he sends me a message and he says he busy. But when he comes back and he still don't call me all day and make excuses it hurts. But I notice he makes time for every one else. He's selfish because of that. Birthdays are not that serious but when your gone for,6 months I feel like if you love someone you would make more time and consider there wants and needs. But he's not including me in his life and I'm tired of the excuses. No matter were your from and how you've been raised. We all was born with common sense and I'm tired of being lonely. I've sacrificed a lot for my relationship and I feel as if it might have been a mistake..Originally posted by Hollandia View PostComment
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There has to be communication for any relationship to work. It was a time when I couldn't see myself without him. But now it's a blurry vision for me.. What's love when your heart is always heavy with hurt. And your is mind is wonderingComment
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This is just me, but 2 weeks is BS. You can find 5 bloody minutes a day for someone you care about a few times a week, or you don't really care that much. If this is his amount of time he can dedicate to you, walk away. It does not sound like you are happy with it at all, or that he will drastically change. After 2 years together, it is almost at the pooh or get off the pot point and he does not sound anywhere near getting ready to pooh.
I hate when people use the "too busy" excuse all the time. My question is this, is he talking to everyone everyone every 2 weeks or just his SO? If he is a hermit living with no contact 2 weeks at a time, it is one thing, if he is living a full life but only allocation 2 week texts to you, then a whole other. This is 2014, we are all mostly busy and have to make time, he just sounds like it is not worth his effort. Time to step up to the plate and swing or go back to the bullpen."Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
Benjamin Franklin
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Exactly, your so right!! Five minutes is all it takes and I'm so worth those 5 minutes!! I suspect he's taking my love for granted but I know I will feel a weight lifted when I release myself out of this situation.. My love is too beautiful to be thrown back into my face.. I feel its time he has lost his self and therefore he has lost me.. He makes time for those who he want to. Its hard to move on but I haft to do it! He says he going to do better but he never does and that just frustrates me even more..Comment
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This is just me, but I say go. I personally could never deal with that little contact from a partner.Comment
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Thanks yeah I think its time now. Its like I was holding on to the vision I had for us as a family. Thinking maybe he just stressed and overwhelmed but it has happened to many times. I know me and when I let go its no coming back!! I will have my mind made up!! I really appreciate your response because this is really a tuff decision but I haft to move on with my life.Comment
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I'm sorry things aren't working out the way you hoped, but I agree that he needs to be giving a little more. You deserve someone who makes a noticeable effort. Best of luck, take care of yourself
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I would say leave. You seem like you've already made your decision from your posts, though. I'm sorry he was being so selfish towards you.
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I agree and thanks for the response its really appreciated!!☺☺☺Comment
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☺☺ yeah I can't continue to listen to his excuses anymore!! Thanks!!Comment
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Really, with technology the way it is now, there is no excuse for no communication. If he's gone for 6 months at a time, I would think, if he really loves you, he would want to make more effort to stay in communication with you, and would certainly put you ahead of his friends.
TWO HEARTS BEATING AS ONE, LOVE BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN...
Nothing Can Keep Us Apart, Safe In Each Other's Heart
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He makes excuses and promise to change and then turn around and do the same things over and over again.. And then he'll send a message like I love you I'm so sorry and I end up replying back and then he just goes back to doing the same things over again..!!! SmhComment
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