Am I overreacting?

[Far-and-away]

Hi everyone,

This is my first time posting. I am new to the whole long distance relationship thing.

The woman I am seeing is amazing, wonderful and even though we have only been seeing each other for six months (though we have been friends for four years) I can honestly say she is my soulmate. We talk about marriage and kids and when I see the future with her, there is nothing I have ever wanted more.

We see each other as often as possible and just recently spent twelve days on vacation together, which was amazing.

Now, obviously I have a concern. I am not sure if I am overreacting because I miss her so much after our long stint together so I thought I would ask here and avoid making her feel bad, if I am over reacting.

When we are together it is amazing. We always plan a super dressy date night and she gets done up as hot as possible, it is knockout sexy but never slutty. I love it.

We are apart nice and last night for the first time since we started dating she went clubbing with her sister. She dressed up super sexy, sent me pics, She looked stunning. Super sexy but not slutty.

Obviously this was going to get her a lot of attention. That is to be expected, she is gorgeous. I know she loves me, I trust her completely. She is honest to a fault, even went so far as to tell me before she left that she has been told she inadvertently flirts with people, but does not realize. I know she would never do anything.

The night was a wash. The crowd where they went was too old and the younger place was packed, so they left early. She said it was creepy having older dudes check her out.

Now, should I be bothered by the fact she went out looking to attract that kind of attention? Am I overreacting? Or do women just sometimes need that confident boost of all eyes on me?

[LovingAcrossTheAtlantic]

Well I actually have a question. Are you sure she was really looking for that kind of attention and not just having a good time with her sister?

[Cristiana]

To me, the most 2 important things in a relationship, and in order to make it work, are honesty and trust. You must have trust in her and she must be honest no matter what.

I often go to clubs, and my SO isn't against it, he isn't jealous (but he isnt the jealous type, I dont know how about you). He simply trusts me and knows that I go just to have fun and dance. It's obvious that guys will look at me (hey is summer and anyway I'll get hot and sweaty, how am I supposed to dress in a club?) but he knows I wouldnt do anything that could hurt him. Because I love him and he knows it.

So if you two really love each other, she wont do anything bad and you dont have to get worried! Or at least, a bit of jealousy is ok and sometimes cute, but dont go too far with it.

[Far-and-away]

I am not the jealous type. I am not really sure what bothered me. I think, mostly, I felt I was not doing enough to make her feel sexy and beautiful and she needed that validation. I think I am overreacting.

[LovingAcrossTheAtlantic]

I would say you are over reacting a bit. But its always nice to put extra effort into making your girl feel attractive!

[Far-and-away]

I try to do that all the time. Thanks for the replies.

[Cristiana]

I think, mostly, I felt I was not doing enough to make her feel sexy and beautiful and she needed that validation.

Hey, just because she dresses sexy when she's not with you doesnt mean you dont make her feel beautiful - and others maybe do. We dress sexy, put make up etc for ourselves, for our confidence, not only for our partners. Getting ready for our lover is always nice but this doesnt mean that when we're not together we have to act different

[Far-and-away]

You are right. I do not expect her to be different when I am not there. I love her for who she is. I actually cannot think of anything I dislike about her. Long distance is new to me. She has done it before. I am still getting the hang of it. I think the main problem is, no matter how often she tells me, I am never convinced I can show her how much I love her or how wonderful and beautiful she is from 5,000 km away.

[niquimarie]

Words alone are difficult to work with when you're trying to express how valuable someone is to you. However, you will never be capable of proving how special she is if she doesn't absorb what you say/show her (something I'm guilty of at times). Which ultimately, I'm sure she does or she wouldn't be in this with you.

Going back to the Super-Sexy night - It's possible she glam'd-up to please herself as opposed to onlookers. Personally, I love playing with make-up, lotions, creams, etc.. When I dress-up, I do it out of enjoyment. Not to increase my chances of getting attention

[JaneEmily]

I think it's wrong to assume that she went looking for that attention. To me, it seems like she just wanted to 'let her hair down' with her sister. To have some fun. Not to gain male attention. You said that she admitted that she found it creepy she was getting attention? She didn't go looking or craving it then. It sounds like she really respects your relationship and was honest about what happened. She didn't do anything wrong so you should just be happy that she was able to have fun with her sister. It's better for her to be able to let her hair down than stay indoors moping with the distance, and it's good that she has a hobby (such as spending time with family) to stop her from giving into the sadness that being apart brings.

I think you need to stop overthinking about it. She just went out, had some fun with her sister, didn't like the attention, and at the end of the day: she stayed loyal and honest to you.

[kittyxuchiha11]

The thing is that most girls dress up and make themselves look nice for themselves and not anyone else. there's this pretty shitty expectation in society that woman only dress up and wear make up for men when really we just want to feel pretty. so she was just trying to look nice for herself and not anyone else so you don't really have to worry.

[lilspitfire]

The thing is that most girls dress up and make themselves look nice for themselves and not anyone else. there's this pretty shitty expectation in society that woman only dress up and wear make up for men when really we just want to feel pretty. so she was just trying to look nice for herself and not anyone else so you don't really have to worry.

OMG THIS!!!!!! THIS RIGHT HERE! I dress up too even for work and my boyfriend can't see me and we work together! I do it to feel good about myself not for anyone else. I rarely ever get all dressy because I get lazy feeling, but when I do, I make myself look hot to trot. My boyfriend has nothing to worry about because I have eyes for him only.