I felt like I should post generally here because I'm a teen but my question is fit for most if not all age groups. I wanted to ask about closing the distance. You see, I'm 17 and the girl I would love to be with is 16. My parents are having none of it. In fact, my whole family is having none of it (mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law) and they've insisted we don't speak ever again. I find it insane..but I can see they want to protect me. I was even going to have her make a sign for me (take a picture, write my name on a piece of paper and take a picture with it) so that they would know her picture wasn't just something borrowed off of Google if Skype wouldn't work out (I'm not sure if she had a webcam or not) but they wouldn't hear of it at all, even though if they wanted to they could have spoken to her herself. I feel like I'll end up being forced not to speak with her (technically I already have been) and the lack of communication would have horrible effects on what we've had going.
Now, I was asking about closing the distance. In the event that my family's plans follow through (they all lived in Africa for at least 10 years before coming to America and are extremely strict about education to the point where they want me to stay in the city for college so they can watch over me) then I wouldn't be talking to her for the next five years, until I get my bachelor's. Even then, five years is an immense amount of time, and since I doubt she has the restraints I do, there's not much of a chance she'd remember me or even still be single, regardless of how much she loves me. I know I sound very pessimistic, but five years for an LDR with little to no communication doesn't seem too fruitful. At the heart of it all, I don't want to lose her. But..in the blessed event that she actually is single by then..what would I do? I'd be 22 and done with college, unless I decided to pursue my Master's. She'd be almost done with a year left. She lives in Tennessee, whilst I'm in New York. In order to close the distance eventually after visits and such (given my family acknowledges her by then which is doubtful) someone would have to move. If you've done it, what was it like? My parents are getting older. Dad is 64, mother is 57. I feel like I'd want to be close by to care for them. Tennessee is hours away, probably a flight or really long drive away. The truth of the matter is, someone basically has to leave whatever physical part of their life they've endured for most of their life. Regardless of how much I love her, I'd have a bit of a hard time putting her through that. Even if the love we have..well, would have should be enough of a reason. What do you think I should do? Should I continue speaking to her, even if it is on and off? Should I just cut my losses because right now it just seems too difficult and I'm young? I'm just really distraught at this point.
Now, I was asking about closing the distance. In the event that my family's plans follow through (they all lived in Africa for at least 10 years before coming to America and are extremely strict about education to the point where they want me to stay in the city for college so they can watch over me) then I wouldn't be talking to her for the next five years, until I get my bachelor's. Even then, five years is an immense amount of time, and since I doubt she has the restraints I do, there's not much of a chance she'd remember me or even still be single, regardless of how much she loves me. I know I sound very pessimistic, but five years for an LDR with little to no communication doesn't seem too fruitful. At the heart of it all, I don't want to lose her. But..in the blessed event that she actually is single by then..what would I do? I'd be 22 and done with college, unless I decided to pursue my Master's. She'd be almost done with a year left. She lives in Tennessee, whilst I'm in New York. In order to close the distance eventually after visits and such (given my family acknowledges her by then which is doubtful) someone would have to move. If you've done it, what was it like? My parents are getting older. Dad is 64, mother is 57. I feel like I'd want to be close by to care for them. Tennessee is hours away, probably a flight or really long drive away. The truth of the matter is, someone basically has to leave whatever physical part of their life they've endured for most of their life. Regardless of how much I love her, I'd have a bit of a hard time putting her through that. Even if the love we have..well, would have should be enough of a reason. What do you think I should do? Should I continue speaking to her, even if it is on and off? Should I just cut my losses because right now it just seems too difficult and I'm young? I'm just really distraught at this point.
Comment