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    You and your SO's families

    How's the relationship between your family and your SO one? How did they meet? How long did it take for them to meet for the first time, and how long did it take to become a bit closer?
    For the international couples, how do they communicate with different languages?

    #2
    Hmmm, that's a good question. The first time my SO and I met, he stayed at my house with my family so that's naturally how they met. My parents can speak English but it's not their mother tongue, so sometimes it was hard to communicate and I had to do a little bit of translating. My SO met my parents and family after a year of us officially becoming a couple. I met his family two years after when I went to spend a couple weeks with him in the states. I come from an Asian family, so my parents are a lot stricter about who I date. His family, on the other hand, are a lot more open and accepting. They treated me like one of their own the day they met me. My parents (especially my mom) are still coming to terms with it. She still lectures me every now and then (especially right before I fly) about her doubts and what not, but I believe that someday she'll fully support me as she starts to see how well my SO treats me.
    [CENTER]

    first met: ~10.03
    became official: 28.03.11
    first meeting: 08.06.12 - 24.06.12 (jason in vancouver)
    second meeting: 18.07.13 - 30.07.13 (jason in vancouver)
    our first vacation together: 30.07.13 - 20.08.13 (cynthia in new orleans)
    third meeting: 14.12.13 - 03.01.14 (cynthia in new orleans)
    fourth meeting: 21.05.14-02.06.14 (jason in vancouver)
    surprise! 13.08.14-27.08.14 (cynthia surprises jason in new orleans)
    viva las vegas: 21.12.14 - 24.12.14 (c+j vacation together in vegas!)
    jason's 1st canadian christmas: 24.12.14-02.01.15
    my first mardi gras: 12.02.15-20.02.15

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      #3
      I met my SOs family the first time last year. We lived with his family and it worked out fine, despite the fact that we did not speak the same language. I got a wake up call on how imporant it is for me to know at least a bit of Turkish, since most of them have only learned very rudimentary English at school. And I learned how to do dishes the Turkish way I met his mother, his two youngest brothers, his mum, his aunt and his grandmother and we shared a house (well, really two houses to be exact). I also met some other relatives, lots of male and female cousins, uncles and aunts. I think I will join him the next time he visits his family and that his brother's gf and his eldest brother can join us. Some family members know I have a husband, some don't.

      SO has met my husband on two occations this year and we all lived together those weeks - then we speak English together, a few Turkish and Norwegian words tossed in there. My men get a little closer each time. I imagine they will meet again in the fall and around Christmas time. My husband have not met his family. SO have not yet met my parents and my siblings, he has not visited my country yet (and I have yet to tell them about him, too). I hope in time he will meet my family, but the first visit I don't want him to.
      Last edited by differentcountries; August 4, 2014, 03:52 PM.
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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        #4
        Our relationship is excellent. At least I like to think so. My SO's parents love me very much (and it's mutual). His mother shows her affection very openly, unlike his father who is much more reserved about it, but I know that he cares very deeply about me. After the first visit, when he dropped us at the train station, my SO said he had tears in his eyes after we hugged goodbye.

        I get on very well with my brothers-in-law, my BIL's fiancée and her two sons, too. We text very frequently and always try to do things together during my very short visits.

        I met my SO's parents and both brothers during my second visit, over four years ago. They don't speak perfect English (especially my mother-in-law) but it's good enough to communicate, and there's always someone to translate anyway.

        They are my family.
        I thought of you and the years and all the sadness fell away from me - Pink Floyd

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          #5
          Uhmm, I guess I've been misunderstood. Is not about you and your SO's family or your family and your SO, I was actually talking about the two families

          Comment


            #6
            While we've met each others families, our families have never really spoken to each other in all these years. His parents aren't extremely concerned about it. They like me and know I make him happy, so that's that. My mom is concerned with meeting them and probably will make a trip out to cali to meet them within the coming year. We actually planned to go in August, but things came up. I'm pretty sure the only real time they'll spend together is if we get married and if we have some kind of ceremony. Got to say, I'm pretty happy with that..

            Married: June 9th, 2015

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              #7
              Our parents haven't met and they probably won't. They might see each other on facebook tagged in posts (my dad has facebook and so does his dad), but so far there hasn't been any contact.

              Relationship began: 05/22/2012
              First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
              Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
              Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
              Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
              Married: 1/24/2015
              Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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                #8
                I can't really picture our parents meeting. My father was actually in Turkey recently, but that was for work. My parents don't travel much abroad, also travelling is hard for my mum these days because she is sick. His mum and grandmother take care of the garden and animals, they are sort of house bound and probably they could not afford to travel. All this and polyamory on top... I don't picture it. My parents and my husband's parents only seldom meet, that only happens if we are all in our flat - his parents are rather difficult to be around.
                I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

                Comment


                  #9
                  Our families haven't met or spoken to each other, mainly because my SO's parents passed away about 2 years ago. I don't believe they would be in contact much, if it were possible though.

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                    #10
                    Unrealistically, I'm hoping they never meet!

                    His family are SBC, god loving tea party members. Mine are alcohol fuelled Northern English socialist heathens. It will probably make a good TV show when they do meet.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Whoops, misread.

                      Our families get along well. His parents are divorced so his father came up to visit two different times during our dating years a few years into our relationship. His dad is very shy and reserved around new people so I think he was a tad overwhelmed, but my mom is really good at just talking to people and making them feel comfortable and it was fine. His mom is like my mom - very outgoing, talkative, etc so when she came up for my bridal shower they got along great too.

                      They all met again at our wedding and still no issues. His parents live in Texas and mine in Maryland so it's not like they have much opportunity to hang out. Both sets are pretty easy going, though, so I didn't dread them meeting.
                      Last edited by rhabdoviridae; August 4, 2014, 05:15 PM.
                      In all the world there is no heart for me like yours.
                      In all the world there is no love for you like mine.
                      -- Maya Angelou

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                        #12
                        I really doubt our parents would ever meet, they're all seniors who don't do much traveling by air, so the chances of that happening are slim to none. His parents don't speak English much, though his mom knew more than he thought, and mine certainly don't speak Finnish, which is too bad because I think our moms would really like each other. He's an only child, so there wouldn't be any sibling family meet-up's either.

                        Never say never though, stranger things have happened!
                        Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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                          #13
                          I hope his family never meets mine, because I love his parents (and it is mutual) and I don't want them to have to deal with my mother.
                          So, here you are
                          too foreign for home
                          too foreign for here.
                          Never enough for both.

                          Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Diaspora Blues

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by 80anthea View Post
                            Unrealistically, I'm hoping they never meet!

                            His family are SBC, god loving tea party members. Mine are alcohol fuelled Northern English socialist heathens. It will probably make a good TV show when they do meet.
                            Ahahah oh God! I totally agree with the TV show - and I love the description of your family.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Our families have never met and I doubt they ever will. My mum is old and deathly afraid of flying. His mum has an established business and although she says she would love to visit Australia, I'm not sure that she'll be able to take the time off.

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