Needing reassurance/feeling insecure

[LeslieC]

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 yrs and half of that has been long distance due or him being in the military. We are both divorced and have children and have been around each other's kids. When I met my man we talked about our insecurities we each had because both our spouses betrayed us. Me being a woman, I had more insecurities than him. We had our ups and downs and have made it a point to see each other every 2 months or so. The last time he visited me, a few months ago, I saw some inappropriate texts between him and his ex, which we had a long and heated discussion about. He first tried to lie about it then was honest about it and I forgave him, but it's been really hard to forget! I had been talking with a therapist off and on since my divorce and my man has even attended some sessions. While the joint sessions help, I get frustrated when I try and communicate with him that I'm having a bad day and feeling insecure and need reassurance because he acts defensive. I feel it's important to tell your significant other how you feel and kind if like "check in" on how you think things are going, but sometimes when I do I feel like he's not receptive and respecting how I'm feeling. He makes me feel like I'm asking for a lot, but I am not....just want to feel loved and special. After our heated discussion he told me he would prove his love to me, etc., but I don't feel like he had done that. Has anyone been in a similar situation of needing to feel reassured and have any advice? Thanks!!

[conejita_hada]

Have you discussed "how" he can prove his love to you within the discussion of that you want the attention? When I need extra attention from my SO, I tell him what I'm looking for and what I feel is necessary. He doesn't have to do things but it's nice that he will (send a song or make sure to text me good morning). Also, has he stopped communication with the person he was messaging?