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    #1

    No contact rule??

    I previously posted my story but just in case I'll say it again. We met online. He lives on the other side of the world. He's 20 and I'm 19. (Never met before but I was planning to visit him at the end of the year hopefully) Last Tuesday was our 10 month anniversary so I sent him a love letter celebrating it and since then it's been 6days and no reply from him. He did read my text but no reply. Btw we only communicate through chatting.
    Then yesterday and the day before yesterday I asked him how's everything goin on? Please text me back I'm worried. And still no reply. He did read the message again but no reply. He hasn't been like this before and I seriously don't know what I did wrong. Does it freak out guys if their girlfriends say they'll love them for eternity? I asked my cousin since he's a guy and he told me that some guys get freaked out by it so I thought maybe that'w why he's trying to push me away from him. Or maybe he met another girl but I have no clue. I think I'll be waiting until he texts back till this Thursday which would be 10 days of his absence.. Should I apply the NC in this case??
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    #2
    Hmm, this is all up to you really. Personally, I probably would.
    Yes, using words like "eternity" would scare him if he has commitment issues.
    "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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      #3
      It may scare him even if he has no commitment issues! Saying I will love you for eternity is like a proposal. Not everyone is ready to say back after 10 months, Oh I will love you for eternity, too.
      Last edited by differentcountries; August 10, 2014, 11:46 AM.
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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        #4
        Even if the word eternity has scared him senseless, he should still have the decency to communicate with you that A. He'd like to slow down a bit or B. He doesn't want the relationship anymore. I personally would be pretty annoyed at being point blank ignored, particularly if I had stated that I was worried about them. Geez my man came on way too strong too early for me, but I just verbally held him at arms length until I emotionally caught up a bit, I certainly wouldn't have dreamed of ignoring him!

        If I was with a bloke who just point blank ignored me for weeks on end without a very good reason, I think I would have to cut it off with him. Do you ever call each other rather than texting? It might be worth trying a call, even if it is only to finish it officially.

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          #5
          We used to talk on the phone till his siblings were on summer vacation. He doesn't like talking on the phone when his siblings are around but his home is the only place where the network works so we haven't called each other for weeks

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            #6
            Originally posted by GuineaPunk View Post
            If I was with a bloke who just point blank ignored me for weeks on end without a very good reason, I think I would have to cut it off with him. Do you ever call each other rather than texting? It might be worth trying a call, even if it is only to finish it officially.
            Agreed. You deserve better than sometime who deliberately is ignoring you, for all that you know.To me, he sounds immature, he also sounds like he is not taking this relationship seriously. If he can't talk on the phone with you, regardless of who is home or not, that makes me uneasy.
            Granted, I like to hole up in my room when I talk simply because I don't like talking on the phone in front of people, notvjust when im talking to my SO, but even when I'm calling the bank or the doctor, I just like to be in my room alone talking.
            This all seems very fishyb to me. The only way I would still keep this relationship is if say a family member of his died or something tragic happend, then the time he needed to be alone would be understandable, but not simply just for using the word eternity.
            "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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              #7
              As calling is an option, I personally would pick up the phone and ask him straight up what the deal is. You are obviously looking for answers, so the only way you are going to get them is when one of you breaks the stalemate situation and it doesn't look like he is the one who is going to do it.

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                #8
                Originally posted by Unconditional View Post
                Agreed. You deserve better than sometime who deliberately is ignoring you, for all that you know.To me, he sounds immature, he also sounds like he is not taking this relationship seriously. If he can't talk on the phone with you, regardless of who is home or not, that makes me uneasy.
                Granted, I like to hole up in my room when I talk simply because I don't like talking on the phone in front of people, notvjust when im talking to my SO, but even when I'm calling the bank or the doctor, I just like to be in my room alone talking.
                This all seems very fishyb to me. The only way I would still keep this relationship is if say a family member of his died or something tragic happend, then the time he needed to be alone would be understandable, but not simply just for using the word eternity.
                Even if something tragic happened, she does deserve to know what's going on. Even if it's him saying "I can't talk right now, urgent family matter and I just need a few days to sort myself and my family out to deal with this." but blanking her is just bang out of order. I'm with all of you on this one. He just doesn't seem like he's mature enough to handle a relationship, let alone an LDR.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by JaneEmily View Post
                  Even if something tragic happened, she does deserve to know what's going on. Even if it's him saying "I can't talk right now, urgent family matter and I just need a few days to sort myself and my family out to deal with this." but blanking her is just bang out of order. I'm with all of you on this one. He just doesn't seem like he's mature enough to handle a relationship, let alone an LDR.
                  I agree, but I'm just saying that if something like a loved one is hanging by a thread in the hospital fighting.for their life, it might not be someone's first instinct to send out a text. Or, if god forbid, he's in the hospital after being in a tragic accident, I highly doubt that he'd be up to message anyone back. That all being said, I'm almost positive that's not the case.
                  I would try to call him, if he doesn't answer in a few days...Well, I'd probably cut ties. I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear, but take it from me, it's better than living in limbo of not knowing.
                  "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Unconditional View Post
                    I agree, but I'm just saying that if something like a loved one is hanging by a thread in the hospital fighting.for their life, it might not be someone's first instinct to send out a text. Or, if god forbid, he's in the hospital after being in a tragic accident, I highly doubt that he'd be up to message anyone back. That all being said, I'm almost positive that's not the case.
                    I would try to call him, if he doesn't answer in a few days...Well, I'd probably cut ties. I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear, but take it from me, it's better than living in limbo of not knowing.
                    Yes, but she sent the message using a chat site and if he's logged in again, I doubt anyone is dead, hurt, or seriously ill. If so, the first thing on his mind wouldn't be joining that site either.

                    I'm feeling everyone else's words. This dude is being very sketchy. I'd call quits and find someone to treat you better. Trust me, it will happen. I used to not believe in it, but then I found someone amazing. We have our issues, but we're still young in the relationship. It's rocky, but it will get better with communication, patience, and understanding.

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                      #11
                      Well there's actually no way to find out if he's logged in or not so I can't tell if he read my message unless a certain notification pops up

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                        #12
                        If someone wants to contact you then they will. At this point I'd just let it go and stop reaching out to him. There isn't anything you can do.

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by skgirl View Post
                          Well there's actually no way to find out if he's logged in or not so I can't tell if he read my message unless a certain notification pops up
                          I thought you said there was a number 1 next to it that disappears if he read it?

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                            #14
                            Yeah but I mean the number disappears only if he enters our chatroom not the chatting system itself.. So I can't know whether he logged into the chatting application but ignored my message on purpose or just didn't log into the application and didn't read my message. Sorry if I didn't explain it well

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                              #15
                              If you have the ability to call and it will give you a piece of mind, then call. Even if my SO's siblings were around, I'd expect him to talk to me once in a while. If he's scared from the message, he should have contacted at some point within the 10 day span out of common decency. I'd personally try to call and if there is still not answer from his end, I'd cut contact.
                              When two hearts are meant for each other, no distance is too far,
                              no time is too long, and no other love can break them apart.

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