Man from US fakes his own death to get out of marrying his Fiancée from UK

[whatruckus]

I just read this article and I couldn't believe it. Ugh. What a coward.

Tucker Blandford Fakes Death To Avoid Wedding

[JaneEmily]

Wow what a jerk. That's not how someone treats a person they love. At least be honest rather than lead the poor girl on! :/

[whatruckus]

Wow what a jerk. That's not how someone treats a person they love. At least be honest rather than lead the poor girl on! :/

Exactly. Why propose to her and make her really think you're going to marry her, if you had no intentions of it. He took all that money from her.

[JaneEmily]

Exactly. Why propose to her and make her really think you're going to marry her, if you had no intentions of it. He took all that money from her.

I'd chop his balls off for doing that kinda shit. It's so disrespectful. He literally robbed her money for something his heart never was into. Hope karma kicks him in the penis.

[whatruckus]

I'd chop his balls off for doing that kinda shit. It's so disrespectful. He literally robbed her money for something his heart never was into. Hope karma kicks him in the penis.

Agreed!

[emsimes]

What a pussy...there are no words for his behavior! At least the woman was able to turn this situation into a successful business.
I'm sure karma will come back to bite him in the ass.

[thehappyhope]

Wts. Good that she's not married to such a jerk, though.

[differentcountries]

It is a bit extreme, still just leaving the scene is not unusual for a commitmentphobic since they tend to make impulse decitions which they later regret and they cant even decide to undecide them, or explain to people how they feel. She is lucky to get away, commitmentphobics usually make lousy spouses because once married they feel trapped. It is not a matter of loving her or not, in fact he probably does love her deeply otherwise his phobic reactions had not kicked in.

[Hollandia]

It is a bit extreme, still just leaving the scene is not unusual for a commitmentphobic since they tend to make impulse decitions which they later regret and they cant even decide to undecide them, or explain to people how they feel. She is lucky to get away, commitmentphobics usually make lousy spouses because once married they feel trapped. It is not a matter of loving her or not, in fact he probably does love her deeply otherwise his phobic reactions had not kicked in.

He did not just leave the scene, he had someone tell her he was dead. That's a bit sick and twisted and completely inconsiderate of how this would affect her. If she had not called his mom, I highly doubt he would have paid her back the money either. It is a matter of loving her, you don't frak over people you love like that.

[sarahjane1992]

It is a bit extreme, still just leaving the scene is not unusual for a commitmentphobic since they tend to make impulse decitions which they later regret and they cant even decide to undecide them, or explain to people how they feel. She is lucky to get away, commitmentphobics usually make lousy spouses because once married they feel trapped. It is not a matter of loving her or not, in fact he probably does love her deeply otherwise his phobic reactions had not kicked in.

Why are you making excuses for him? If he truly loved her he would've been straight up and honest with her. It's one thing to break off an engagement but to make her think he was dead? That's not extreme. It's just plain cruel and uncalled for. I hope he gets what he deserves.

[digitalfever]

This probably isn't the first time this has happened and it won't be the last.

[squeeker]

Oh dear, that's awful how someone could do that!!

[differentcountries]

Why are you making excuses for him? If he truly loved her he would've been straight up and honest with her. It's one thing to break off an engagement but to make her think he was dead? That's not extreme. It's just plain cruel and uncalled for. I hope he gets what he deserves.

I am not making exuses for anyone, I am simply explaining that there is something called commitmentphobia, which is a real as any phobia.

Unlike for instance fear of hights that you can mostly keep out of a relationship, commitmentphobia creates a lot of tention in the relationship itself, and more than often the ending of the relationship is both bad and bizarre. This is because the commitmentphobic is responding not to the woman, but to his own fear and the strong ambivalence he feels when he loves a woman he is phobially afraid of.

The sad thing is that commitmentphobics tend to fall in love very deeply, but since they also are very afraid of marrige and typically also other types of commitment too they do a bad job following through with a long term relationship. Many people like this won't commit to a steady job, or commit to buying a house, or commit to keeping appointments with their friends, they have a terrible fear of being somehow trapped once they make a decition. But they have an equal fear of not making decitions, which is probably worse since this makes them impulsive and compells them to for instance get quickly engaged and then drop their fiance. Most of them also have claustrophobia, and their emotional response to being emotionally trapped - even if the entrapment is completely their own doing by persuing a woman and making her fall in love too - is equally strong to the claustrophobic who thinks being stuck in an elevator means they will be stuck inside a wall forever.

I was once married to someone who stopped loving me as soon as we got married, I mean literally the next week. It sounds insane, but it was commitmentphobia because that is how it works. But I was the one who looked mad for claiming that the relationship was done. I also had something going on with a man who, instead of telling me we were through, fled the country for 8 months and did not even tell me about it, still when he came back I had to be the one to end it because ending things is not exactly the forte of this type of person.

Of course it is a cruel thing to do to anyone to fake their death. It is also stupid, like sparing someone's feelings by making her believe she is a widow makes so sense in the ordinary world. I am simply explaining what compells people to do something like this. Is it because they are incapable of loving? No, it is love plus their fear of commitment that gives them this conflict. They act cruel because their pain is incredibly strong, and they fear - very rightly - that their feelings will not be understood, so they will have noone to talk to about their conflict. Anyone understands wanting out of a bad relationship, but wanting out of a good one, with a woman you love? It makes no sense for people who don't have this ambivalence in them. This mental isolation makes them make bad dections, like faking their dissapearence (the most common way is simply moving to a different city without giving notice). It is the first time I heard of someone faking their own death, but people are known to fake being sick or being forced to leave the country, or really anothing other than breaking up. They are dangerous people and they are even more dangerous if people don't understand what is going on.

Any woman (or man for that matter) who had a boyfriend who acted weird and cruel should read this book. I hate the title, but the actual book gives a good insight as what happens in a commitmentphobic relationship, and also gives good tips for any woman (or man) who wants to either get rid of or turn a commitmentphobic. I learned a lot about myself by reading it: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/...Who_Can_t_Love

[Hollandia]

I am not making exuses for anyone, I am simply explaining that there is something called commitmentphobia, which is a real as any phobia.

Unlike for instance fear of hights that you can mostly keep out of a relationship, commitmentphobia creates a lot of tention in the relationship itself, and more than often the ending of the relationship is both bad and bizarre. This is because the commitmentphobic is responding not to the woman, but to his own fear and the strong ambivalence he feels when he loves a woman he is phobially afraid of.

The sad thing is that commitmentphobics tend to fall in love very deeply, but since they also are very afraid of marrige and typically also other types of commitment too. Many people like this won't commit to a steady job, or commit to buying a house, or commit to keeping appointments with their friends, they have a terrible fear of being somehow trapped once they make a decition. But they have an equal fear of not making decitions, which is probably worse since this makes them impulsive and compells them to for instance get quickly engaged and then drop their fiance. Most of them also have claustrophobia, and their emotional response to being emotionally trapped - even if the entrapment is completely their own doing by persuing a woman and making her fall in love too - is equally strong to the claustrophobic who thinks being stuck in an elevator means they will be stuck inside a wall forever.

I was once married to someone who stopped loving me as soon as we got married, I mean literally the next week. It sounds insane, but it was commitmentphobia because that is how it works. But I was the one who looked mad for claiming that the relationship was done. I also had something going on with a man who, instead of telling me we were through, fled the country for 8 months and did not even tell me about it.

Of course it is a cruel thing to do to anyone to fake their death. I am simply explaining what compells people to do something like this. Is it because they are incapable of loving? No, it is love plus their fear of commitment that gives them this conflict. The act cruel because their pain is incredibly strong, and they fear - very rightly - that their feelings will not be understood. This makes them make bad dections, like faking their dissapearence (the most common way is simply moving to a different city without giving notice). It is the first time I heard of someone faking their own death, but people are known to fake being sick or being forced to leave the country.

Any woman (or man for that matter) who had a boyfriend who acted weird and cruel should read this book. I hate the title, but the actual book gives a good insight as what happens in a commitmentphobic relationship, and also gives good tips for any woman (or man) who wants to either get rid of or turn a commitmentphobic. I learned a lot about myself by reading it: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/...Who_Can_t_Love

You are making excuses for his behavior. You can't excuse everything away because of an issue. I have issues, you have issues, we all have issues. My daughter is bi-polar but she would never screw anyone over. A person that can hurt someone this bad also has a lack of morality and thinks the world revolves only around their personal being. He did not have to propose to her, he did not have to take money and tell her it was for a ceremony he never booked. He did not have to lie to her. He did not have to crush her. He could have written her a dear jane letter, it is called being responsible for your own actions.

This is why the world is lacking morals so much today, we excuse everyone's bad actions that people inflict upon others away. Sometimes regardless of disabilities people need to be held for their own actions. This is exactly what my daughter's doctors told me about her insane anger swings and extreme medical self centric nature. This is also why as an adult she learned to work through her issues and still be a responsible morale person that would never directly hurt someone else as a result of her disorder.

[sarahjane1992]

You are making excuses for his behavior. You can't excuse everything away because of an issue. I have issues, you have issues, we all have issues. My daughter is bi-polar but she would never screw anyone over. A person that can hurt someone this bad also has a lack of morality and thinks the world revolves only around their personal being. He did not have to propose to her, he did not have to take money and tell her it was for a ceremony he never booked. He did not have to lie to her. He did not have to crush her. He could have written her a dear jane letter, it is called being responsible for your own actions.

This is why the world is lacking morals so much today, we excuse everyone's bad actions that people inflict upon others away. Sometimes regardless of disabilities people need to be held for their own actions. This is exactly what my daughter's doctors told me about her insane anger swings and extreme medical self centric nature. This is also why as an adult she learned to work through her issues and still be a responsible morale person that would never directly hurt someone else as a result of her disorder.

@DC the first half of your post was excusing his behavior! Again. There is no excuse for treating someone this way. Instead of being a man, he took the easy way out.

@Hollandia well said! I totally agree.