Relationship going back to an LDR, due to joining the Airforce :)

[oxytocinbite]

I used to be an active member on this forum, however about a year ago I moved in with my boyfriend (now fiance) Michael and it has been amazing. We are moving by the end of the year and joining the Airforce active duty, I have grown to have a passion for the military since he opened my eyes to it. The only negative part of this is the fact we will be long distance for a couple years while he is in tech school, although this will grant us a great future together and we will both have fantastic careers.

We plan on joining the joint spouse program to make sure we are more likely to deploy together, it's probably going to be hard but we will make it through, we love each other and I can't wait to start this crazy life with him. Anyone else a military couple? or future military couple?

[Heavenly_Love12]

I'm active duty and in the Air Force as well. As far as I've seen, there are only a few members who post who are in the military; there are military SO’s though. You could try posting this in the military section too.

Are you planning on marrying prior to joining? If not, there's no guarantee that you will be stationed at the same base being single. If you plan on marrying while one of you is in tech school, then you would be able to apply for join spouse, there is also no guarantee that you will be stationed together then but they will try. My advice would be to marry before you join because it will be difficult to plan a wedding if you’re both joining. I know many couples who married before BMT, BMT weekend, or while on leave after tech school but only one of them was military. With both of you joining, unless there’s going to be a significant gap (say your SO goes to basic in 2015 and you don’t plan on even talking to a recruiter until 2016).

You should both try for jobs that can go to most locations in order to make it easier for you to be stationed together. There are some jobs that can only go to so many bases and if you both have a job like that, then there's a slimmer chance that you will be able to be stationed together. Being active duty is not easy and being a dual active duty couple will be even more difficult! Besides BMT and tech school, there is other training that you will have to do, times you will be separate due to different work schedules/TDYs/deployments, and you are military 24/7.

Having a family and being dual active duty is extremely difficult as well. There is no such thing as "join spouse to make sure you are deployed together." They will deploy you as needed and if you have children, that's when they will TRY to not deploy you at the same time but if it needs to be done, they will. You would need to have a family care plan in place if/when you have children so that if you both have to deploy, someone in the local area will be looking after your children.

Feel free to message me if you have any questions! I’ve been active duty for a bit more than 2 ½ years. My SO was active duty as well but separated prior to me joining so I have experienced being a military SO and serving.

[oxytocinbite]

We are marrying before we leave, just a simple wedding at a court house. I understand we probably won't always be stationed together but if it helps then that's all we can ask for, we also don't plan on having children...ever, it would suck to have a child that never sees there father, I also want a career and children don't fit my life style. My fiance wants to join Pararescue and I would like to join Special Missions Aviation, we are still getting everything figured out since there are a lot of "what ifs". I always though being a dual military couple would be easier? Since we would have a chance to see each other every so often while on base...then again I don't know much about military life.

Like you said this will be difficult, I won't give up though ever, not on my relationship or my career. If I ever have any questions I will make sure to ask you since you know all about the military life. Thanks for replying.

[Heavenly_Love12]

No problem! I'm glad you're planning on marrying before as that will make things easier with paperwork and applying for join spouse when that time comes. Have either of you met with a recruiter yet? I ask because you'll list 7 jobs and an aptitude area that you're willing to do and they'll try to match you to one of those jobs. Having your heart set on a specific one and not being willing to take anything else could delay you booking a job however, do not take a job just to leave sooner! You'll be doing that job for 3-5 years (depending on how many years you sign for) before you could cross-train. It's good to be open to several jobs so that you'll have a better chance of getting something you'll enjoy.

As far as being dual military being easier, it's not. If one of you is a civilian then there's no issue in being stationed in the same location. The military will station the member somewhere and his or her dependents go too (with the exception of a few remote tour bases). Being dual means that they have to try and find openings at the same base for you both. You will also have to deal with the possibility of you both being gone at the same time or back to back. I know a couple of dual active duty couples who do not have children and they say it is difficult too. There is a lot that goes with being in the military that you don't know until you're in and it's not just a career, it's a way of life.

Best of luck to you both!

[kathipearl]

thank you guys for all your support :* I was just super frustrated because it was 1 AM and I needed sleep so desperately and watching "Seven Pounds" didn't exactly help waking up to sunshine and a whatsapp msg from my SO definitely made things a lot better