She misses me every time after we Skype and becomes negative

[RaulS1987]

When we Skype its amazing, fun, happy times. We usually skype at 2pm my time (10pm her time), she wakes up when I go to bed and we chat a bit (still good) and then when i wake up the next morning (4-5pm her time) she's sad, says she's missing me too much, it's really hard to see me and speak with me and not have me there with her.

She's only been gone for 4 weeks. I will be seeing her in February when I go there and travel with her for 3 months. And then 2 months after that she comes back. To me it's very doable. But since she's been gone we've had this rollercoaster of HAPPINESS and then falling into SADNESS. We have amazing fun on Skype and then its all drama after that. I just feel like it's never going to last this way, that eventually she's going to say it's too hard and wants to stop.

I've tried talking about it, explaining she should try to think positive when these thoughts come up, to value what we have, that its fun to skype and enjoy that, to accept the situation and that this is how it is. That we should skype more often so she gets used to this rather than skype less. But nothing seems to make a difference...


Any experience with a similar situation and how did you deal with it?

[differentcountries]

Sadness is part of the LDR. If she can't deal with it she can't have this kind of relationship. I am sorry to sound harsh, but this is true. There may be some people here who are totally fine with an LDR, but for most of us it is a situation that will always leave us wanting more. Still, there are some benefits to the situation. When you don't see each other all the time, it is amazing to see each other again. You can send letters, gifts, creative things that you might not have made the time to prepare could you just cuddle up to each other every day. I used especially to craft to SO when we saw each other only every 2nd months. To me, anything beyond 1 month is long, still 2 months is doable. I can imagine now that she saw you just 1 month ago, February will seem like a long time away. You have to count down somehow, make it seem less like eternity and more like counting down to something exting.

I am not going to lie to you, after spending more than 3 weeks with SO this summer (the longest time we had together), the 5 weeks wait after that was hard. What happens with the longer visits is that it starts to feel like daily life, and your system can't understand why it all went back again. I had a semi-depressive reaction when I went back home. And I knew it was only for 5 weeks time, my tickets were already booked. Do you have a set date/tickets so you can have a real countdown? Who does she have with her to help her through the hard times? Does she have work, studies, hobbies etc. to keep her busy during winter?

I find that with us on Skype we tend to go back and forth, back and forth. Sometimes it is very quick, like hey how are you doing or some practical things (especically related to our flat in Turkey), at other times it is very intimate and then afterwords the sadness can come, it is like the feeling of making passionate love and then your lover is gone the next morning.

BTW: I doubt your relationship started off in 1987!