How do I ask her out?

[gvitesse]

Hello all!

I need some help and advice on how to ask a girl out or on how to ask her to be my girlfriend. I've never did this online.

I love a girl but I haven't told her I love her yet but I've made it clear I like her more than a friend and she said she likes me too. We tell each other " i love you" as a joke all the time but I don't know if she means it.

So, how do I tell her that I want to have a relationship with her and make it official? I'm still uncertain whether she'll agree to it or not because of the distance but I'm willing to take the risk.

Should I just tell her that I love her and ask her to be my girlfriend? and should I
tell her I want us to be together in future? Would that scare her off?

Also, LDR couples..please share your experiences on how your SO asked you out.
Thanks for reading.

[differentcountries]

You may gradually build it up. Since you already confessed you have some feelings for each other, you can add to that by complimenting her (on some real things that you like, for instance her looks, her personality, her jokes and so on) and then asking if she would mind if you called her your girlfriend. If she has doubts about the distance, you may show her this Forum where lots of people make it long distance.

How SO asked me out... He was sort of rude! He asked me once if I would go out with him and I said no, because I did not want a relationship. Then he asked my friends about my name and other stuff, and asked me again and I said no. Then he started making jokes to my friends that for sure he was going to date me, I would say yes in the end! This went on for a couple of days. My friends teased me endlessly about him. His pursuit was very intense and slowly I started to regret saying no because I liked him and I thought he was handsome and kind. I was in doubt because I was not looking for a long distance relationship, I did not think he could cope with dating poly and so on. I knew some people who knew him and they said he was a nice guy, he had been single for 6 years, did not have any kids (unlike some of the other guys there), he did part time education which had not gone so well in the past but now he was trying it again, his dad was dead and his family lived in x area and he sent money back home... I knew a lot about him before we even kissed! On the fourth day after I met him I said yes to dating him, we went to have some wine and after his kiss I was sold onto him

[Inspirement]

I don't really have any tips on how to do it but I can tell you my story and maybe you'll get some ideas there, because our situation was very similar to yours.


Me and my SO were flirting a lot for a few weeks before we really confessed our feelings. I had expressed quite early on that she kind of was everything I wanted in a girlfriend, and she said the same about me, but we had not made any proper declarations of feelings. We played a lot of "get to know you" games and dropped some pretty big hints that we had feelings for each other. She bought a webcam just about a week before we officially began a relationship just so we could video chat and she was really shy on the cam in the beginning, but we really made a connection.


I remember the moment of asking her out quite vividly. Well I remember the emotional aspect anyway, not so much the specific details, but we were playing a game of truth, My SO just looked at our chat history and we were teasing a lot back and forth just before I asked her to be my girlfriend. I asked the question over chat, so it was a nerve wercking few minutes before she answered me, and I remember the feeling of relief I felt when I read that affirmative reply. I took a risk asking her, but it paid off. She later confessed that it could have gone either way, because she was hesitant about the distance, but decided to give me a chance, and we're both really glad she did.

[RachelAnne]

I also don't know how to tell you to go about doing this, my SO and I decided to wait until we met in person before making it official, but every couple is different. We knew we had feelings for each other, and we knew we cared about each other, but had made it clear we weren't going to become "official" until after we met. We finally did, almost three years ago, and have been together ever since. You could always try bringing it up gently with her, or suggest a meet in person first. Good luck!

[gvitesse]

I told her I love her and she said she loves me too, so I decided to ask her her thoughts about Long distance relationship. She said she never was in a relationship and she has no idea about it. She wants me to meet her before she decides I really want to meet her but I probably can't meet her for another 1 year or so.

[Inspirement]

I told her I love her and she said she loves me too, so I decided to ask her her thoughts about Long distance relationship. She said she never was in a relationship and she has no idea about it. She wants me to meet her before she decides I really want to meet her but I probably can't meet her for another 1 year or so.

I didn't meet my SO until aftet over a year into our relationship, and honestly, time has gone really fast. It still feels like it was only like last month we started talking when in reality it's been closer to two years. Time goes fast when you're having fun!

And in the year or so until you can meet you can just enjoy getting to know each other without worrying about putting labels on your relationship. You don't have to call her girlfriend in order to enjoy a happy and fun filled relationship after all. The feelings are still the same.

[RachelAnne]

My SO and I didn't meet each other until 7 years after we had met lol. Obviously we were much younger and knew it wouldn't be a possibility. But If you really like her and respect her decision, then maybe ya'll can start planning a visit?

[gvitesse]

We agreed we would decide about relationship after meeting in person. But I'm worried what if she loses interest in me now that she knows I love her?

[Miasmata]

Why do you think that would make her lose interest? She said she would like to wait with commitment until you've met in person, so to me at least, that definitely sounds like she's interested in you, but just doesn't want to commit yet.

[Redheart14]

Sounds like you've both got the same strong feelings for each other. I don't think you need to worry about saying the 'L' word. As scary as it is you've got to take a risk. I was worried about telling my SO I loved him and kept putting it off. Then one day he called and said " I'm going to say it, I've been putting it off as I don't want to scare you but ..... I love you" I laughed thinking he was feeling the exact way as me but he finally said something. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Go for it. I don't want to look back on things with my SO and have regrets, I'd ask and see where it leads. You deserve to be happy give it a go.

[gvitesse]

I have very low self esteem/confidence..but I'm working on it now. I'm afraid she'll meet someone else and lose interest in me but she has told me she loves me. Plus, she told me once she's afraid of relationships and getting hurt.

[gvitesse]

Sounds like you've both got the same strong feelings for each other. I don't think you need to worry about saying the 'L' word. As scary as it is you've got to take a risk. I was worried about telling my SO I loved him and kept putting it off. Then one day he called and said " I'm going to say it, I've been putting it off as I don't want to scare you but ..... I love you" I laughed thinking he was feeling the exact way as me but he finally said something. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Go for it. I don't want to look back on things with my SO and have regrets, I'd ask and see where it leads. You deserve to be happy give it a go.

I believe I already took the risk and told her I love her. To my surprise, she said she loves me too but doesn't want a relationship until we meet. I agreed to it. I don't where we stand right now..are we just friends? since we're not in any relationship. Did I make a mistake talking to her about online relationship?

[pretty ll vacant]

I kind of forget theres a formal 'asking to court' lol .. We had been talking to each other and falling in love for an entire year. One day he just sort of admitted to me that he refers to me as his gf to his friends lol. Its actually really funny because I was doing the same thing. Maybe a casual sort of approach similar to mine would help .. You can guage her
reaction that way and maybe say you've called her your gf a couple times to avoid advances from other women or something, just a suggestion.

[Miasmata]

I believe I already took the risk and told her I love her. To my surprise, she said she loves me too but doesn't want a relationship until we meet. I agreed to it. I don't where we stand right now..are we just friends? since we're not in any relationship. Did I make a mistake talking to her about online relationship?

Take a breather and relax. Take what she said as is - She loves you back, but doesn't want to commit before meeting in person. You are not in a relationship yet, as she said, but you both want to see where things take you. Let it happen - Work out how to meet up and take it from there. You didn't make a mistake by being honest with her! Being honest is much better than hiding it or, worse, having a friendship under false pretense.