Did I do the right thing?

[Redheart14]

Hey LFAD friends. I'm feeling terrible I planned a surprise for my SO and it completely back fired. I organised a chocolate hamper to be sent to his work to cheer him up as he's been having a rough time. I sent it yesterday and he didn't text to say he got it. I spoke to him today and there was no mention of it. I was worried that he was out of the office that day he might not have checked. So I text him and asked him if there was anything waiting for him at work. He asked if I sent something to which I said yes. He then got really upset saying I shouldn't have sent it to work that work and personal should be kept private. He's sent me flowers to work before and I've never been bothered by it. Maybe that kind of stuff for a guy is not the same. He's out of the office now so won't be able to check until later. I rang the courier company hoping they didn't deliver it if he wasn't there as requested but someone at the office signed for it. My nice gesture has blown up in my face I don't know if he'll get paid out now by his work colleges but he seemed really upset. Did I do the wrong thing? I know I don't care if I get flowers at work as people can say what they want it's the thought that counts. Maybe guys are different. I was just trying to brighten his day and now I'm feeling dreadful. Did I do the right thing?

[Moon]

If he sent you flowers to work previously, why would you think there would be anything wrong with doing a similar thing for him? That kind of makes no sense, if he wanted to keep the two things separate, he should have never sent the flowers to your workplace. You did nothing wrong here, he's acting pretty weird to be honest. Sorry about that

[Redheart14]

If he sent you flowers to work previously, why would you think there would be anything wrong with doing a similar thing for him? That kind of makes no sense, if he wanted to keep the two things separate, he should have never sent the flowers to your workplace. You did nothing wrong here, he's acting pretty weird to be honest. Sorry about that

No no don't be sorry.
I know he's the kind that doesn't like to be the centre of attention so maybe that's why he's more upset I don't know. Maybe other guys will poke fun at him but honestly I don't think it'd be that bad. Maybe guys don't like things being sent to them. Or maybe just my SO doesn't. Oh well too late now.

[Kapwned]

Maybe he feels like his workplace is less open to that kind of stuff? And maybe he's more shy and embarrassed by public gestures like that on his end but he didn't mind doing it for you because he knew you'd appreciate it.

[Redheart14]

Maybe he feels like his workplace is less open to that kind of stuff? And maybe he's more shy and embarrassed by public gestures like that on his end but he didn't mind doing it for you because he knew you'd appreciate it.

Yeah I'm thinking so. I know there'd probably be a few who would embarrass him more.

[CanGirl]

That sucks. I think he should appreciate the things you do for them and not get mad about a little thing like this. I don't see anything wrong with sending something to his work. The day I left to New Zealand I gave my dad a package to be dropped off at my SOs work(my dad works at the local greyhound and needed to go there anyways. No fee ). My SO loved getting one last letter for me and wasn't bothered by getting that and jerkey at his work. I hope things get better soon! Hopefully he will apologize for acting that way about it. *hugs*

[Petals]

Hey,

You did nothing wrong because it's normal for you to think it's ok for you to send a package to his workplace. His reaction is disappointing, but maybe the culture at his workplace is different and he feels exposed. He might not be close friends with his work colleagues so hasn't disclose his personal relations to them.

I don't think it's a big deal! He'll get over it...now you know not to send stuff to his workplace, so it's all good.

[snow]

I do not think you did anything wrong. He introduced it by sending flowers to your work and you returned the favor. I suppose it was embarrassing to him, but his reaction was not out of line. He didn't want it and he communicated it. Did he yell at you? Did he put you down? If not, then your nice gesture did not explode in your face, it simply didn't work out.
I would not as much be offended or beat myself up over it as much as I would simply understand not to do this again. Some people don't like it and you have to respect that.

Not every work environment allows for gestures like that and I don't know what your SO does for a living.
I know better than to send my man anything to work. He works as a meat clerk and tells me sometimes what his work colleagues talk about - this is no environment where you can sent them anything unless you want them to make fun of him. I have to be subtle about it if I want to be sweet.

[p_b82]

I asked my GF about work orientated deliveries quite early on, as I was thinking of sending something to her, and I know if I sent it to her house she would not get it. But she told me that her work frown on that sort of thing, and I'd be better sending it elsewhere (her mum's or dad's for example). I also decided not to bother as I wanted to give it to her face to face, and the fact I have not told her what it is for the past 2 or so months is killing her now lol

You've not done anything wrong though, and don't blame yourself, he might be embarrassed but I am sure he appreciates the gesture too - now you know deliveries are not to go via work though

[Redheart14]

He got teased badly at work and is quite upset and probably more embarrassed that I made a fuss of him. I feel terrible worst idea ever!

[differentcountries]

Workplaces are different in this regard. I ONLY send stuff to his workplace because then he gets it easier and faster than having it sent to our flat with the tiny box and then having to go (after work, if the post officie is even open then) to go get it. He also loves getting stuff sent there (not just my letters, but anything) because he can brag about whatever he gets (he doesn't like to TALK about it, but he doesn't mind showing off!) and also they can transport any heavy things home with the company car. He asked me if he should send stuff to my work and I asked him please not to; it is much simpler for me to get it sent home in Norway, I have a big box and also live close to the post office, also I don't want to involve my colleagues wheras his are already involved since I have studed at his workplace that last months. Also, hardly anybody gets private stuff delivered to work here as it is considered unproffesional, wheras they spend a LOT of time at work and the two are sort of conflated.

His mistake, and yours too, was not talking over what you prefer. It was not a bad idea, and he kind of led you on by sending things to your workplace. I suggest you forgive each other what happened and start talking things over more.

[p_b82]

well that will pass, if he had not said anything you weren't to know... don't beat yourself up about it.

[dhebz]

There's nothing wrong with that, don't feel guilty about it, it's him that acts weird and that you need to find out...
Instead of Him gets the surprise now it's you

Hope u will feel better...

[snow]

He got teased badly at work and is quite upset and probably more embarrassed that I made a fuss of him. I feel terrible worst idea ever!

Welp, it takes a strong personality to deal with this and it will take some time to blow over. He shouldn't be mad at you for it, but you should learn for the future.