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I Want The Chance, But He Doesn't.

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    #1

    I Want The Chance, But He Doesn't.

    Hi Guys. I hope everyone it's well. I never knew the LFAD community was so big, but at the same time why wouldn't it be?

    But Nevermind my rambling. Here's my story. I met this very handsome very sweet guy online. Facebook to be exact. He was posting about love and heartbreak. Just general life and love topics. At that point in time I wad going through a tough time coping with my then going on four months separation. I lost sight of my worth, and happiness, because of what my then boyfriend put me through. I was a mess of a mess. My Mr. Handsome well tell you himself. Since day 1 out 17 (today makes 17) he has reached out to me and I have reached out to him. We talk for hours at a time...daily. I went from getting help with finding myself and realizing my worth, to thanking him for helping me find it. Honestly if it wasn't for him I would still be with my then un-appreciative un-affectionate un-supportive partner. I guess you can say he helped me see I deserved better. Anyway Day 1 to Day 17, as stated, we have talked every day. I have told him secrets and he has told me secrets. Both are very heart wrenching secrets to us, so it meant a lot that he shared secrets with me. He doesn't judge me and I don't judge him. We only talk via Facebook. We have not exchange numbers, usernames, pictures. We play "house" online. I "cook" for him, clean, massage him, and other moments we share through a screen....and honestly everything we discuss or "do" keeps me right at "home" with him. I would love to work on something with him, but when I approached him of the possibility, he said it isn't his thing. To be honest, I don't think long distance is anybody's thing but wanting to love the right person is.

    I don't want to try and pressure him into thinking about a LDR, because I don't want to scare him off, also because I found such amazing help and friendship with him. I would hate to lose that.

    I ask things like do he look forward to talking to me everyday and he says yes. He feels some type of way when I don't respond ONLY SOMETIMES. He's physically attracted to me. He calls me little names like big head. He makes sure I'm doing good. He's very open with me. He does me better through a screen that any local man has done. He's so sweet and gentle. He's the kind of guy I would love to be with.

    I have been in LDRs before and I enjoy them. I love the connection it brings two people.
    He said he has been in just one himself.

    What should I think of this. Should I give up on possible LDR with him?
    Tags: None
    #2
    It sounds a bit early to decide after 2 weeks :-)
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #3
      Yea after 17 days no matter how much you talk is a bit much. Just enjoy talking to him, if something comes of it, it does. He has told you his stance so only continure talking to him if you are okay with nothing coming from it.

      Comment

        #4
        After counting the days your absolutely right...I said the same thing. But when he cancelled it out all together, it just kind of made me feel like I need to forget about it. Or what. I know anything is possible, but ...... lol idk guys!

        What should my next move be?

        Comment

          #5
          Your right! Snow girl... that's a bit hard. Kind of like not trying like someone. But it's worth the try.

          Comment

            #6
            Get to know him more. It's too early to decide to jump in. You may have that spark straight away like many relationships and friendships blossom with, but just give it a little time. He may only be ruling it out because he wants to build a more solid friendship with you before deciding to branch it to a relationship. Love takes time to grow, just keep going on the track you're going as friends and who knows what will happen? Keep positive

            Comment

              #7
              To you it might be worth it, to him you could be just some girl hes been talking to online. He can enjoy talking to you, but that doesn't mean he wants anymore from it. Cant make someone do something they don't want to do.

              Comment

                #8
                Why not just enjoy the flirting and having someone that you can talk to? It DOESN'T have to be more than that.

                Comment

                  #9
                  I agree that it's too early. But, as you acknowledge, it may never come about even after giving him time to come around to the idea. As long as you're prepared for that, go ahead and keep talking.
                  In all the world there is no heart for me like yours.
                  In all the world there is no love for you like mine.
                  -- Maya Angelou

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by digitalfever View Post
                    Why not just enjoy the flirting and having someone that you can talk to? It DOESN'T have to be more than that.
                    I'm such a relationship person. I just like having that partner to call my own you know. But I definitely see what you mean. After reading this I guess it's nothing wrong with having a someone to talk to. It Comes from me not knowing how to be freaking single. Thank you for that!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by ImWorthIt View Post
                      I'm such a relationship person. I just like having that partner to call my own you know. But I definitely see what you mean. After reading this I guess it's nothing wrong with having a someone to talk to. It Comes from me not knowing how to be freaking single. Thank you for that!
                      One important thing to learn before getting in a relationship is knowing how to be single. You need to be perfectly content on your own before you can be with someone else. Perhaps you have feelings for this guy because he has picked up your self esteem. The best thing you can do is thank him for that and go on your way and take what he has given you and just be single for a while, enjoy it. I miss being single sometimes cause you can do whatever you want and not have to worry about calling someone at a certain time, setting aside time for someone etc. I am assuming you broke up with your ex after starting to talk to this guy? He is a rebound, you like the attention don't let that cloud your judgement.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Originally posted by snow_girl View Post
                        One important thing to learn before getting in a relationship is knowing how to be single. You need to be perfectly content on your own before you can be with someone else. Perhaps you have feelings for this guy because he has picked up your self esteem. The best thing you can do is thank him for that and go on your way and take what he has given you and just be single for a while, enjoy it. I miss being single sometimes cause you can do whatever you want and not have to worry about calling someone at a certain time, setting aside time for someone etc. I am assuming you broke up with your ex after starting to talk to this guy? He is a rebound, you like the attention don't let that cloud your judgement.
                        You are right... I think I was just falling for Captain Save Em....because I obviously do not know him. I was single four months prior to even talking with him but obviously that isn't enough time to figure out that he's the one for me or not....I feel so crazy. Thank you for slapping me to reality.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Originally posted by ImWorthIt View Post

                          I don't want to try and pressure him into thinking about a LDR, because I don't want to scare him off, also because I found such amazing help and friendship with him. I would hate to lose that.

                          I ask things like do he look forward to talking to me everyday and he says yes. He feels some type of way when I don't respond ONLY SOMETIMES. He's physically attracted to me. He calls me little names like big head. He makes sure I'm doing good. He's very open with me. He does me better through a screen that any local man has done. He's so sweet and gentle. He's the kind of guy I would love to be with.

                          I have been in LDRs before and I enjoy them. I love the connection it brings two people.
                          He said he has been in just one himself.

                          What should I think of this. Should I give up on possible LDR with him?

                          I think you need to give it more time being friends. It's a pretty simple solution to me! Build a strong friendship and maybe meet him as just friends. He's a skeptic. Maybe you have to give him something to believe in. Yes love is worth it, and maybe he doesn't feel the same if he can't see that. Just give it more time, I feel like it will work out. ♥
                          From America to India. ♥

                          Comment

                            #14
                            It's too early to be in a relationship for you now,I would say to get to know this guy,it's always good to get to know the person,and be friends with them first,don't go rushing into a relationship,you don't know him all that well just yet,just take it slow.

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