busy with everything and claims he has time...

[latiez]

hello, ive been in a somewhat long distance relationship for a few months with the best boyfriend that i have ever had. we met online on this app where you can make friends in your living area and after a month of daily good morning texts, long conversations, and countless connections, i finally agreed to date him. a few red flags popped up when during the fourth or fifth week he said he loved me and has been looking for a women who is serious about a long distance relationship and who he can be himself without being judged with, and he tells me all the time that its me. i was afraid to say i love you back until i was sure and that was a few months into the relationship. we have been through a lot individually and it sometimes affects our relationship...but its becoming a serious issue for me because he tells me he wants to talk on the phone and he doesnt like texting, yet he will sometimes reply to my texts and then stop, and text back around 8 at night when i last replied around 3. he is recovering from a major surgery and has had to deal with that his whole life, and he says one of the reasons he loves me is because i accept him for who he is and can support him when he feels alone. i try to be there for im but now we barely talk at all. at least not during the day because he has school and physical therapy which he says takes up most of his time. and he has talked to me about marrying me, and he's brought it up numerous times on the phone with his mom and with me and her in person. he talks about how he cant wait to have a family with me and he loves and will be here for me, but its so strange to not even get a reply or call back until 24hrs pass. ive brought it up to him, and he has said he'll change or try to make me happy, and ive told him that maybe just doesnt have enough time for a girl friend right now and he gets sad and convinces me otherwise. that is, until he doesnt talk to me all day and calls saying he was busy. its clear that we love each other, but he told me early in the relationship that his whole life has consisted of him screwing up and people telling him he is physically incapable because of his surgeries and condition. and i want to be there for him. but it seems like he only talks to me when he feels like it, he even admitted to sometimes seeing the text and forgeting to reply, yet he says he thinks about me all the time. he's met my family, my friends, and ive met his. i just feel like he is going through so much that i have to be put on the back burner...

[differentcountries]

Everyone has time for a relationship if they want to. The president has time for a relationship.

However, as person who has done a lot of physical therapy myself; it can be really draining. It is great that he manages to go to school and also keep up with the therapy. The thing is, therapy can be hard on the body as well as the mind. If you text him 3 and he has therapy from, let's say, 3-5, he might take a few hours to recover and get back to your message at 8. He seems to be happy he can count on your love and understanding, but he also has a responsability to explain to you how his daily life works and what you can expect of him during the day of attention, replies and so on. If he get sad (and not mad) by the thought of you two breaking up, that is a good sign. He wants you. Still the both of you should contribute in making good agreements on how to stay in touch. I don't know... We use Viber a lot, where you don't have to say much, you can press an icon to send a kiss. That works really well for us. If you feel that he talks to you randomly, and that you notice a pattern where you sit by the phone waiting, then talk to him about it. I am not sure you can get him to text you more often since he seems genuinly busy, but it can help if you both get more understanding of where the other person is coming from. I know SO has unintentionally sometimes made me sit by the phone, but I also was to blame for making blurry deals at the time. Now we say to each other "This is the deal" og "What is the deal for today?", or we make general deals ("Mondays we will not Skype, I will be too tired from work").