Positive daily tasks

[BlueCat]

Hey guys,

since I'm having a bit of trouble coping recently, I've been trying to think of ways to make myself more positive. When I don't cope, I get easily frustrated, and I take those frustrations out on my SO, which in turn doesn't really help because then he gets frustrated and so on.

So what I'm thinking is to maybe come up with a list of small things that I do daily, with the thought that they'll become habit. I'm thinking super small, simple stuff such as giving my SO a compliment, thanking him for something he's done etc etc. We generally already text every day, just basic stuff such as "What are you up to?" "i love you" etc. but don't really get time for much more than that. But if you have any ideas of things to add to my list, it would be much appreciated. Hopefully, forcing myself to be positive will make me more positive, along with making my SO more positive from me being nicer and less frustrated :P

I'm really struggling with hope for the future and just getting through my days, so any ideas are greatly appreciated.

[Petals]

This is a great idea!

I don't know if you already do this and it might not be daily, but you could send pictures of what you are doing or where you are. You could also send pictures of both of you from a past visit. I do this once a week or so depending on how much I'm missing my SO. You could also mix up the pictures from the past with screenshots of past conversations that you find romantic or funny. Doing this usually stirs up light-hearted conversation about what we were thinking at the time of that conversation; it keeps the fire burning (connection) I think. It reminds us of what we have together and how important we are to each other.

A daily act for us : At the end of each day, my SO normally sends me a text that says "one day closer to you." He is 14hrs ahead of me so at the end of his day I'm just waking up. This text never fails to bring a smile to my face.

[rhabdoviridae]

I used to have a "joke of the day" where I'd find a joke to tell him when we talked - you could always text this too. It's a way to keep smiling, even if it's a dumb joke

I personally would hold off on the daily compliment. I think that compliments and thanks are better when they're given without planning and a complimented every day might make them lose value. We aren't a very romantic couple so I'm sure someone out there will disagree with me, but that's just my two cents.

Also, you don't have to focus your positivity just on your relationship. Maybe find a way to be positive on your own - at the end of every day, make a list of all the good things that happened, even if they were small. Maybe take up a low key volunteer gig that makes you feel good about yourself. I've also been freer with my compliments to my friends and others and they seem to reciprocate. Obviously don't just make something up, but if you see a stranger at the bank with a nice bag, tell her Being positive toward everyone around you will make you feel more positive in general, and I think it trickles into your relationship.

[BlueCat]

Thanks for the ideas guys I appreciate it.

I don't really have trouble being positive otherwise, except for night time at home where the list of small daily positives might help.

[snow]

https://www.happify.com/

[Mims27]

https://www.happify.com/

This is really cool!! Thanks for sharing that snow!

[rhabdoviridae]

Thanks for the ideas guys I appreciate it.

I don't really have trouble being positive otherwise, except for night time at home where the list of small daily positives might help.

Glad to help I find the down time to be the hardest to manage, too.

[differentcountries]

small things to do daily (or weekly):
* saying good night to each other
* working on an DIY/scrapbooking project (lots of recipies/links here to for instance books you can make, letters etc.)
* work out, doing something you like and feel good at
* seeing friends you care about, or family
* doing something nice for others. Smile a at a stranger. Buy a street magazine. Offer to do something for someone who needs it. Not like a chore, but like you are glad to help and to engage. I find this corrects the numbness and sadness that often comes with being apart
* check your mood and make sure you are not numb or sad for long. Find methods to correct it. Take a nice bath. See a comedy show. Buy yourself flowers, or try out some new food.

[Cristiana]

https://www.happify.com/

Awww Im going to love this.

[sugarkane92]

https://www.happify.com/

This is gonna be very useful, thank you for sharing the link!

[snow]

You're all very welcome I started using this when I had a really bad depression and the community there is absolutely amazing. They are very supportive of your goals and generally very positive people.

[Gingerlyme]

this is great, thanks for starting this thread! especially when we all have days where we are just down and lonely without the s/o

I like reading jokes/gags online to wind down the day after work. keeps my mood up when i'm down and most days from the jokes i read, i do laugh out loud which always brightens the day.

on health: i make sure i wake up and drink freshly juiced lemon (1/2 a lemon) and mix it with warm water to kick start my day. i am one who believe in healthy living. and for those of you who wants to lose weight, this is a great way to kick start your system and detox as the day goes
(though i have lost one too many lbs and my aim wasn't to lose weight)

[BlueCat]

Thanks everyone for the feedback and suggestions. I sent him a couple of pictures today while I was at home doing stuff and we had a good text chat. He's not always so responsive though since he lives with other people so he often doesn't respond straight away which makes it difficult, but that made today all the more special.

[Miasmata]

I hope it's okay to bump this thread with more ideas. I'm going through a bit of a bad spot myself, so this thread is very welcome.

Good things to do daily are beneficial things for your selfcare, both mentally and physically. I'm currently trying to make it a habit to drink at least one cup of tea and to moisturize myself daily. Relaxing sensations are good for your mood, so things that feel and smell nice are great. I found natural, herbal smells especially helpful, but definitely try around and see what works for you.

Another good thing to occupy yourself with are little daily chores. Even something simple as learning some bits of vocabulary in a foreign language of your choice or doing the dishes can give you a confidence boost and distract you from unpleasant feelings/thoughts.