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Long time after breaking up. I found something on her blog

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    #1

    Long time after breaking up. I found something on her blog

    Ok, We "broke up" 7 months ago and have not spoken for about 4 months. I was feeling sad today and decided to check her blog randomly and I discovered a post she made.

    "I miss you. I miss every little f***** thing about you. I miss your cute little laugh, I miss your messy hair, I miss the sound of your voice, I miss staying up all night baking and talking to you, I miss the fucking feeling I got every fucking time you told me you loved me and I f***** hate myself so much for letting that all go.."

    Im really not sure what to do in this situation. I still really miss her after so long and its giving me all these warm, fuzzy,funny feelings again and I don't know whether I should act upon them and get in contact with her, or just forget all about her (which hasn't worked the last 7 months) and keep living my own life

    Any comments are appreciated

    Thanks :3
    Last edited by Spazzo246; September 23, 2014, 06:40 AM.
    Tags: breakups
    #2
    What was the reason for the breakup? I think that will play into whether or not you should contact your ex. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to reach out. You may not want to mention the blog but just a general "I wonder how you are doing".

    My SO and I broke up after dating about 6 months. He was supposed to come visit and didn't show for the second time. Not a call, not a text, not an email. 2 weeks later I received a text stating he knew he had a lot of explaining to do. I was so hurt, I told him it was done and if he wanted to talk, he knew where I lived. He left me alone. 18 months later I just couldn't get him out of my mind and all the "signs" kept showing up. I sent him a brief text telling him I hoped he and the kids were doing well. He responded in under 3 minutes. We've been back together almost a year and plan on closing the distance next year. Sometimes it's circumstances and bad timing why it ended the first time around but you get the right timing on the second chance. I'll never regret sending that text.
    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

    Comment

      #3
      Originally posted by Spazzo246 View Post
      Ok, We "broke up" 7 months ago and have not spoken for about 4 months. I was feeling sad today and decided to check her blog randomly and I discovered a post she made.

      "I miss you. I miss every little f***** thing about you. I miss your cute little laugh, I miss your messy hair, I miss the sound of your voice, I miss staying up all night baking and talking to you, I miss the fucking feeling I got every fucking time you told me you loved me and I f***** hate myself so much for letting that all go.."

      Im really not sure what to do in this situation. I still really miss her after so long and its giving me all these warm, fuzzy,funny feelings again and I don't know whether I should act upon them and get in contact with her, or just forget all about her (which hasn't worked the last 7 months) and keep living my own life

      Any comments are appreciated

      Thanks :3
      Was it an ugly break up over something devastating? Did she break up with you? Do you think you could handle it again if she did that again? If you still love her and you think it could be fixable then go for it. If there was some type of cheating involved, be careful.
      "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
      Benjamin Franklin

      Comment

        #4
        The breakup is a very long and confusing story. Basically she had lots of emotional issues and was very insecure at the time and she was feeling bad that she couldn't dedicate as much time as she should have been so things slowed down from there until it completely stopped.

        After the initial break up we did start talking again for a while but for the past 2 months there has no communication whatsoever.

        I have added her back on Skype ill see how it goes from here

        Comment

          #5
          Sometimes it will work out to relight the fire, but have the reasons you broke up changed? Because otherwise it is just going to be the same over and over again.
          I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
          - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



          "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

          Comment

            #6
            You miss the idea of the other person. When I think back to my ex, I do miss him and I wonder why we broke up. But when I think of him its all the good stuff I think about, its rare I think of the reasons why we weren't good for each other. Nostalgia is a funny thing, you don't think back to all the crap and bad times, just the good. I sometimes think that my ex and I were better matched than my current SO but I tend to leave out the controlling, depressive behavior we struggled with for over half our relationship. So really...

            Comment

              #7
              I think it is more of the fact that you miss her,and you miss having that love for each other,and that relationship that you and her had,but you need to ask yourself,do I really want to be in that relationship again,or is it just the idea of wanting to have that relationship back that you had?Just take a good long time to think about it before you go rushing back into a relationship with her.

              Comment

                #8
                My ex and I are still very good friends. We have a business together and an adult daughter. My SO knows that we skype every other day or so and he trusts me completely. I would never cheat on him. I still care for my Ex just not like "that". He was very verbally abusive and had anger management problems that led to some physical abuse after we first separated. Believe it or not, I forgave him for all that. I still need him in my life, just not like that. I love my SO and I feel so lucky to be able to have my SO as my love of my life and my Ex as my dear friend.

                Do you love her as a lover or do you just want her in your life? You don't have to have one or the other. If you crave her as your lover and you can't move forward without her and need some closure one way or the other, then go for it. If you just want her in your life, then keep her in it and go out and date others. You have a right to have a mate, is she the one you wish to be your mate? Or is she the one you wish to have around as a buddy? Is it worth the risk to you of more pain to take that chance? These are things you want to ask yourself. I would not just add her back on Skype, I would skype her your thoughts and don't lie about seeing her blog. Lies are a horrid way to start back up a relationship. If you want it to work, lay it all out on the table and go for it full force.
                Last edited by Hollandia; September 24, 2014, 06:08 PM.
                "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                Benjamin Franklin

                Comment

                  #9
                  When I broke up with my ex for the first time, it left me with more questions than answers. We decided to remain friends, but then he randomly completely shut me out of his life a few months after the breakup. For two years, I would occasionally wonder about him, and occasionally I would miss him. Eventually, I decided I wanted answers and reached out to him peacefully over facebook (after discovering he unblocked me). I wanted to know how he was doing, basically, and get some closure.
                  Talking brought back old feelings, and eventually he and I decided to try again. We talked about the previous attempt thoroughly, and we felt we had fixed everything that had went wrong last time. We were really, really optimistic that we would totally get it right that time, because we're older and smarter and TOTALLY capable of making it work. It also helped that it seemed like outside variables were on our side that time.
                  We fell back into it rather gracefully, and it was very comfortable having him back. Initially, things were perfect; we were both super into the relationship, we were both energized, and we were both far more open with each other than we were the first time. It really seemed like the relationship was different. It really seemed like we had fixed whatever had gone wrong before, and we would be able to make it work that time. However, we fell right back into our original roles a few short months in. He became less excited, grew more distant, and it seemed like we were unable to have a conversation unless we were talking about him. That, or he flat-out wouldn't make time for me. These were faults that I had completely glossed over in my excitement to try again, and I found myself once again making excuses for them. Eventually, I ended things. The break up that time was much more final, but left me feeling very fried. He and I are still on good terms, but now we just don't talk.

                  The questions Hollandia raised are really, really good ones--ones that I kinda wish I had asked myself before getting into that again. For me, the answer was that I just wanted my ex in my life. The romantic feelings I thought I had for him were nostalgic; I was falling for the familiar comfort I had in a relationship that just wasn't going to work out. I don't regret talking to him, because that did bring him back into my life as I wanted, but I do regret pursuing a relationship with him again. We're skype/facebook friends, but we don't talk at all, so it ultimately wasn't worth it. Sometimes it's just best to let sleeping dogs lie, you know?
                  However, sometimes it's also a viable option to pick up and try again. Sometimes things DO work out better when given another chance, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to try. Sometimes you need to just get it out of your system so you can move on. I basically second everything Hollandia said.
                  I would also ask yourself: Are you okay with falling into the old routine, both good and bad? Are the faults from the previous time worth the risk? If you're more or less on good terms now, are you willing to chance a very nasty break up that could cut her out of your life for good? Basically, do the pros of trying again outweigh the cons, and do you honestly feel like it's worth that risk?

                  Comment

                    #10
                    The breakup is a very long and confusing story. Basically she had lots of emotional issues and was very insecure at the time and she was feeling bad that she couldn't dedicate as much time as she should have been so things slowed down from there until it completely stopped.

                    After the initial break up we did start talking again for a while but for the past 2 months there has no communication whatsoever.

                    I have added her back on Skype ill see how it goes from here

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Spazzo246 View Post
                      The breakup is a very long and confusing story. Basically she had lots of emotional issues and was very insecure at the time and she was feeling bad that she couldn't dedicate as much time as she should have been so things slowed down from there until it completely stopped.

                      After the initial break up we did start talking again for a while but for the past 2 months there has no communication whatsoever.

                      I have added her back on Skype ill see how it goes from here



                      Originally posted by uadialej View Post
                      The breakup is a very long and confusing story. Basically she had lots of emotional issues and was very insecure at the time and she was feeling bad that she couldn't dedicate as much time as she should have been so things slowed down from there until it completely stopped.

                      After the initial break up we did start talking again for a while but for the past 2 months there has no communication whatsoever.

                      I have added her back on Skype ill see how it goes from here
                      Did you change your username?

                      Comment

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