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    #16
    Originally posted by Tamarahhansen View Post
    It sure does sound like she has some feelings, although she seems to be confused too. To answer your question; if there is something you can do to bring out those feelings with her while you are together, i'd say: How about asking her how she would feel in a hypothetical scenario in which you will never see each other again? I know that the moments I have imagined being without my SO has been the moments when I was most sure I needed to be with him.
    Thank you for being one of the few to offer a real suggestion (instead of an unsolicited opinion on the nature of our relationship. ).

    Exactly what I'm thinking! "You don't know what you've got until it's gone." But to REALLY imagine it and FEEL it .. I mean, other than disappearing for 6 months, I don't know. Maybe that's what it will take too .. being willing to walk away and then her coming to discover that she really does want me in her life .. or not.

    There's so much more I could put here that would be like, "Aaaaa, I see what you're saying now!" but it would take forever. Guess this is about all I'm gona get here so maybe it's time to close this.

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      #17
      There is a big difference between imagining that tremendous loss yourself, and having the other person say... if you never saw me again, would you miss me? The first one can be an eye opener, wheras the other one sounds manipulative.

      Walking away, with the intent of her going to "discover" your dissapearence, miss you and urge you back is manipulative too. Don't get me wrong, I have done the dissapearing act as well. And sure it works...for a while. It works until the other person is no longer threatened by your potentional loss, and all the ambivalence comes back, and the game board is reset. This dance can go on for a long time.
      Last edited by differentcountries; September 30, 2014, 04:40 PM.
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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        #18
        Originally posted by Methos View Post
        Thank you for being one of the few to offer a real suggestion (instead of an unsolicited opinion on the nature of our relationship. ).

        Exactly what I'm thinking! "You don't know what you've got until it's gone." But to REALLY imagine it and FEEL it .. I mean, other than disappearing for 6 months, I don't know. Maybe that's what it will take too .. being willing to walk away and then her coming to discover that she really does want me in her life .. or not.

        There's so much more I could put here that would be like, "Aaaaa, I see what you're saying now!" but it would take forever. Guess this is about all I'm gona get here so maybe it's time to close this.
        If you don't to hear it don't post about it. You are stalking someone that has told you she does not want this with you.
        "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
        Benjamin Franklin

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          #19
          I don't neccesarily agree that it is stalking, she might give out clues that speak louder than her words, but you should be aware that putting preassure on an ambivalent person can turn ugly.
          I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
          - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



          "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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            #20
            Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
            I don't neccesarily agree that it is stalking, she might give out clues that speak louder than her words, but you should be aware that putting preassure on an ambivalent person can turn ugly.
            She said no for 3 years. It is quite stalkerish and creepy. I really doubt she is being anything but friendly and platonic. If she wanted to be with him, she would not need to put out clues. He proposed and she said no. Insinuating she is giving off clues that contradict her own words for 3 years is no better than saying a rape victim really wanted it because of her body language.

            No means no, especially after 3 years of no. He needs to honour her spoken wishes and give up on that.
            "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
            Benjamin Franklin

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              #21
              Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
              There is a big difference between imagining that tremendous loss yourself, and having the other person say... if you never saw me again, would you miss me? The first one can be an eye opener, wheras the other one sounds manipulative.
              agreed.

              I've been in the situation with my guy that he convinced himself that an LDR can never, absolutely not ever, work out. So he did the "just friends" thing for a while. So I guess loving someone but appear undecided because of circumstances can happen. From your posts tho, I have to say I have to agree with everyone else... take it at face value and take no as a no. Let it go.

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                #22
                Originally posted by Methos View Post
                Thank you for being one of the few to offer a real suggestion (instead of an unsolicited opinion on the nature of our relationship. ).

                Exactly what I'm thinking! "You don't know what you've got until it's gone." But to REALLY imagine it and FEEL it .. I mean, other than disappearing for 6 months, I don't know. Maybe that's what it will take too .. being willing to walk away and then her coming to discover that she really does want me in her life .. or not.

                There's so much more I could put here that would be like, "Aaaaa, I see what you're saying now!" but it would take forever. Guess this is about all I'm gona get here so maybe it's time to close this.
                You are absolutely delusional. This chick doesn't like you that way. I don't know how else to put it, bluntly? She is a beautiful girl and you a balding old guy. Everyone here has given you the advice you need to hear and that rings true. If you are so clouded by this lust of yours you should really get some help, because the stuff I"ve seen you write about her is creepy and you need to give her respect and give this whole thing a rest.

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                  #23
                  Um I think you need to bluntly ask how she feels because only she knows how she feels and take it at face value. Making assumptions will only get you hurt. Maybe she does like you, but looking for hints is not the way to find out. Women know when they love(like) somebody and it typically stays constant. This sounds like infatuation more than love.

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                    #24
                    Wow .. this is amazing. I mean truly amazing that people can read a few posts and think they are authorities on the last 5 years of people they don't even know. I must be in the presence of physics or something. Absolutely astounding! ) It never ceases to amaze me how people go to the internet and ask a simple question and are then bombarded with opinions based on assumptions of egomaniacs who have nothing better to do than to try to bring people down. Seen it all the time and now I've experienced it myself. All I can say is .. wow. And let me add, as if in 5 years I haven't had ALL these same thoughts myself? Really people .. seriously .. get a fucking life. This is just, laughable. ))

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