Would you do anything to save your relationship?

[lilspitfire]

What lengths would you go to to save your relationship including giving up everything to move closer? We work together in the same office but in different cities and states. Would you try transferring to his office (knowing he wouldn't be against it)? What would you do?

[silvermoonfairy3]

"Save" as in, something is going terribly wrong and it's close to ending?

[OperaDiva]

Sounds to me like this is not really a poll, but you having some sort of issue and trying to figure it out. So what's up?

[Moon]

I wouldn't do absolutely anything, but I would do whatever I reasonably could. I wouldn't give up everything, I wouldn't change who I am, I wouldn't push myself into ruin for it. If I was free to move though, and had a job to go to, I would.

[lilspitfire]

Okay, not really a poll I guess and I don't know how to remove it. Yes, it's not like it is a ultimatum, but this is hurting us and he really wants me there. This is his first LDR so it's harder for him. I've suggested this place, but I can't make him join. I think it will help if I cut some of the distance away even if I don't transfer to his office (which would be nice because I'd have work there already)

[silvermoonfairy3]

For a 4-month old relationship?
I probably wouldn't move across the country, no.

But some people would be perfectly fine uprooting their entire life like that and consider it an adventure, so it's not particularly relevant what we'd do if you're that kind of person.

You should consider the practical aspects, not just the fact that it's nice to have a CD instead of LD relationship. Money, living situation, social life, etc.

Moving halfway across the country is a big change. How many times have you met already, would you be living together or separately just closer, do you have the savings and finances to make that change (and more importantly, to reverse it if something goes wrong), have you been to Maryland/do you like the east coast (it's quite different than Texas in everything from weather to politics), etc.

[Dziubka]

I wouldn't do anything I wouldn't actually want to do to save my relationship. I wouldn't move to a place where I wouldn't want to live or give up a job I liked.

Would I move across the country for my SO? Well, I did. Because I wanted to be here as well. I don't think this is something that other people can advise you on. I nothing is keeping you where you are and his area sounds interesting to you and you'd like to try out living there, then go for it.
Don't make it about him or dependent on your relationship, though.

[differentcountries]

I would do pretty much anything....But take it slow.

[80anthea]

No, I wouldn't put myself or my daughter in danger physically or mentally.

[OperaDiva]

this is hurting us and he really wants me there.

I've suggested this place, but I can't make him join.

So, he doesn't want to move to you, but he is pressuring you to move him? This is how this reads to me ... and after only 5 months this is a lot to ask of someone without being willing to do the same.

[silvermoonfairy3]

So, he doesn't want to move to you, but he is pressuring you to move him? This is how this reads to me ... and after only 5 months this is a lot to ask of someone without being willing to do the same.

I thought it was about the forum...

[TwoThree]

So, he doesn't want to move to you, but he is pressuring you to move him? This is how this reads to me ... and after only 5 months this is a lot to ask of someone without being willing to do the same.

Five months and only one visit, from what I remember.

I don't know how to answer this question. I probably wouldn't do ANYTHING. If I were of that mindset I would already be with him right now.

[OperaDiva]

I thought it was about the forum...

Sorry, I don't understand. And that is supposed to say "pressuring you to move TO him" I blame trying to learn Finnish!

ETA: I got it! Sorry OP, I thought you suggested to him to move to you but he didn't want to. Please disregard the above. Although I do think 5 months is very fast ...

[conejita_hada]

If the only way for my relationship to work would be to close the distance right now, I wouldn't do it because it's not in my best interest. Yes, relationships are about compromise but they are about rational compromise. Moving an entire life because one partner can't handle distance in a relationship is not rational compromise and can result in negative feelings toward one another down the line. The act of moving is not saving a relationship, it's putting a band-aid on the issue instead of fixing the issue. Take it slow and plan out closing the distance when the time is conducive for both of you.

[butterfly712]

I would do pretty much anything,but you should really take your relationship slow,maybe you can save up some money to see him,or he can save up some money to see you,then eventually you both can save up some money to live together.